Is it just me?

[Reminiscence]

So back in October me and this guy I was seeing called things off. We go to the same college and have a class together. We were never official and never called each other boyfriend or girlfriend. This is the second time he has called things off. He says he doesn't have time for a relationship but wants to stay friends.

 

There are some things have happened that are confusing me or raise my suspicions that his actions aren't that of someone who is just a friend.

 

1) After we called things off, I didn't contact him for 5 days. I wished him good luck on his midterms but I didn't think he would respond right away. When he did we texted each other for a bit and the last thing he texted was "We can text more. More than none." When we both finished with midterms we started texting each other almost on a daily basis.

 

2) When we text each other he often send me photos of either pictures that he takes and uses a smartphone app to tweak around with or sends me something he draws on his iPad. Though, he isn't a pro at these things. There was this one time he sent a drawing and said it was me but it looked nothing like me.

 

3) Sometimes we'll text each for 5 hours straight from 9 to 2 in the morning. This has happened twice.

 

4) Last Friday I had a really bad nightmare. I tell him I had a bad nightmare when we meet up (Saturday) to work on a project we're partners on. Come Saturday night, he texts me how I'm doing and I tell him I'm still bothered by the nightmare. We kinda get into a small misunderstanding when he says that I let it bother me which to me sounded like he didn't really care. We explain ourselves and we're okay. He says he does care and offers to "hang" with me that night. I at first kept saying no when he tells me he would have to walk two miles in the cold rain and it's all ready so late (11 pm). He kept insisting it's not a big deal. That if he can help he will come. When I asked him if he was gonna walk home after we talked he said "I can crash there." Basically, inviting himself to spend the night. I tell him he can head over if he really has no problem with the travelling situation.

He doesn't get to my place until 1:00am. We chill like normal friends would on the couch talking about stuff. At 2:00 I tell him I want to sleep and I go to my room to get a blanket for him to use on the couch. Instead, he follows me into my room and hops into my bed. I'm taken aback but I don't have the guts to tell him to sleep on the couch. So i get into bed with him. He immediately puts his hand on my belly and I feel really weird. I tell him and he says he got into the bed because the couch was messy/dirty (which it was). He asks if I want him to sleep on the ground by my bed and I tell him no. I wouldn't make or ask anyone to do that.

I tell him about the nightmare and start crying. He comforts me. (This for sure I know is just him being a friend and nothing more) We fall asleep. It isn't until morning that he wakes me up when he's trying to get out of bed to go to the bathroom. He has to crawl over me because he's sleeping against the wall. As he is doing that, he kisses me on the cheek. He comes back and we fall asleep. I wake up and I kiss him on the cheek too. At one point, I roll onto my stomach and his hand goes up my shirt and on my back. At other points, his hand will rest on my hip, belly, or inner thigh. I wake up later and kiss him on the lips. He doesn't seem to react to it. I fall asleep again. I wake up again and kiss him again but longer. This time his lips move and try to kiss me back. I stop. I go back to sleep.

We wake up and he has to leave. He doesn't say anything about his kiss or my kisses. We hug each other goodbye and he asks me if I'm gonna be on campus later. I say no and he says he'll be there to study. He leaves. I text him (Sunday night now) and ask how he is doing. He says he's not happy. I ask if it's something I did. He doesn't reply until 1 in the morning saying that when I asked him he was upset at something else. However, he also says "I do feel like I was bamboozled last night." I was sleeping though. So I read this text at 8 in the morning. I also checked my facebook and find that 2 hours after he sent that text he poked me (on Facebook).

 

 

So is it just me and I'm over thinking everything he's been doing? That he truly is being nothing more than a friend? Or does he still have feelings for me? Or worse, is he toying with me?

I don't know what to do. He says he wants to be friends but some of these things don't quite feel like things friends normally do. Maybe it's just me and I just have friends that don't do the things he does. Maybe to him he thinks this is what friends do. I still have feelings for him and I think they are getting in the way. I don't want to act rashly again and end up getting more confused or hurt.

[CeeLambrini]

Let's be honest - if you had turned around and initiated sex, he wouldn't have said no.

A respectful friend would have slept on the couch, end of. A hopeful man who is sexually attracted to you would walk 2 hours in the rain and jump right into your bed. I just get the vibe he is looking to sleep with you casually, but doesn't want it to go any further.

[DylanNotorious]

He's going with YOUR flow, so don't mistake that for anything else. If your up for sex, he'll give it to you. So instead of you encouraging him and then getting all confused because he goes with your flow, set some boundaries for yourself. If you want him properly, do things properly.

[Reminiscence]

He's going with YOUR flow, so don't mistake that for anything else. If your up for sex, he'll give it to you. So instead of you encouraging him and then getting all confused because he goes with your flow, set some boundaries for yourself. If you want him properly, do things properly.

 

He's the one who says he doesn't have time for a relationship. He's the one who called things off. Did you not read this? How am I supposed to go after him if this is the case? Trust me, I know his schedule and he is really busy. This isn't the first time he's called things off. When we first got together and first called things off and then back together and then off again, it's always been him wanting these things.

 

And what exactly have I done that suggests that I'm the one encouraging him? He's the one who sends me photos. He offered to "hang" that night when I had no intentions of asking or alluding him to that sort of request. He kissed me first. The texting on a daily basis or for 5 hours straight could be us just being friends only I'm not used to it because I've never done that with my friends before I met him. Do things properly? You mean I ask him out or something?

 

And why do people keep mentioning sex when I haven't? Take things as they are because sometimes they are just that. All I'm asking is for people to just look at these things and tell me if what he is doing is truly that of a friend or if he still has feelings and what I should do. Not this "if I wanted sex or he wanted sex." To be clear, I don't want sex nor did I want sex that night. I took a shot. That's all. He kissed me first. I thought he was trying to rekindle things or was just trying to be a good friend. I had a choice to kiss him or not to kiss him. I chose to take shot and see what happens. Nothing happened. And nothing happened when I kissed them those other two times. So you tell me if he wanted want sex when he had 8 hours worth of chances to do it and I let him know 3 times that I still had feelings for him. Yeah I doubt it.

 

Neither of us has mentioned that night and we haven't spoken about it. Except for when he said he felt bamboozled but even I haven't commented on what he said.

[Reminiscence]

Oh and there was one other thing that happened that I forgot to mention. This happened a week before he spent the night with me.

 

I was in his room and we were discussing our project and planning it out. I was sitting at his desk and he was lying on his bed. I got up to stretch my legs and was looking down at them as I walking around his room. He asks, "Did you want to sit down here?". His mattress is on the floor. I'm taken aback and say no. There are 2 chairs in the room why would he ask me if I wanted to sit on his bed?

 

It could mean nothing or something. He could have thought I was looking at his bed when I was looking at my legs. Or thought his bed might be more comfortable to sit on. I think it means something because I'm not accustomed to people offering me a seat on their bed especially a guy. I don't sit on people's bed. It's just something I don't do. Even more so for a guy even if we are friends and know that we will never have romantic feelings. I don't even let those guy friends or my girl friends sit on my bed.

[InkedDragon]

Yes it is you. You're overanalyzing everything. Just chill out for awhile. If he wants to be more than friends he will make it clear.

[Reminiscence]

Yes it is you. You're overanalyzing everything. Just chill out for awhile. If he wants to be more than friends he will make it clear.

 

Last I checked people who are truly just friends don't stick their hands up the others shirt or kiss them on the cheek. Everything else I mentioned yeah ok I'm overanalyzing.

[InkedDragon]

Seems he wants the benefits of more than just being friends without the commitment. Sounds like a FWB...

[Shane Falco]

Last I checked people who are truly just friends don't stick their hands up the others shirt or kiss them on the cheek. Everything else I mentioned yeah ok I'm overanalyzing.

 

Sounds like he wants some ass.

[Reminiscence]

Sounds like he wants some ass.

 

If that's the case then why didn't he just do it? He's not afraid of asking for something even if they know they might get shot down. Though I don't know how one goes about getting sex whenever they ask for it.

[Shane Falco]

If that's the case then why didn't he just do it? He's not afraid of asking for something even if they know they might get shot down. Though I don't know how one goes about getting sex whenever they ask for it.

 

Overthinking again. How many guys just straight out ask for sex? They make a move, woman reciprocates and bam, booty time. But yeah, you need to stop analyzing every move, every breath, every sigh this dude makes. And you shouldn't be so readily available to text with him, talk to him, meet him. Keep your meetings that you have to do for school as on task as possible.

[Reminiscence]

How many guys just straight out ask for sex? They make a move, woman reciprocates and bam, booty time.

 

Oh that makes sense. But he kissed me on the cheek and I kissed him on the cheek. Nothing happened.

[Shane Falco]

Oh that makes sense. But he kissed me on the cheek and I kissed him on the cheek. Nothing happened.

 

I kiss my mother on the cheek. I don't kiss a girl I want a relationship with on the cheek. A kiss on the cheek is platonic IMO, with only a kiss on the forehead being less intimate.

[Reminiscence]

I kiss my mother on the cheek. I don't kiss a girl I want a relationship with on the cheek. A kiss on the cheek is platonic IMO, with only a kiss on the forehead being less intimate.

 

But doesn't it depend on the situation? Getting a kiss from my mother on the cheek is way different than getting a kiss on the cheek from a previous romantic interest IN BED.