Telling someone you have an STD

[Wayfara]

I'm just saying I don't think it has any bearing or not on weather someone is a keeper. That's insulting to people who work hard not to get STD's. Like we're ****s or something for not wanting to get a disease and being willing to discriminate who we sleep with to ensure we stay disease free.

 

What's makes someone a keeper is the likelihood of you having a happy relationship with them so in my view it does make him a keeper, to her, because it's relative just as beauty is. She thought she had an STD so the guy she was seeing would have had to see past the STD to be a keeper to her or they might have broken right then and there. Herpes is also incurable so if she had had it she would have had to find someone who could accept it as there is no idea to date those who have it as deal breaker when you have the disease.

[pl3asehelp]

It looks like you are misunderstanding what I'm saying. I agree that it is not a sole good judge of character. Did I, at anytime in my comments, say that people who make sure they're disease free (which is the majority I think, including myself) are idiots and not keepers? No. Was I touched by my boyfriend's reaction? Yes. But do you now imply that people who have STDs don't work hard at not getting any? Yes. Are you implying they sleep around? Yes. Who is discriminating here exactly? Peace my friend.

 

You made the comment that some guy was a keeper after noting he was ok with possibly having gotten an STD from you. You didn't say anything else about him. You didn't say people who don't want to get an STD aren't keepers, but to single out their opposite and note that they are keepers implies you see some distinction in whether they are a keeper or not based on that attribute.

 

Let me clear up what you think I implied. I think the majority of people who have STD's are certainly more likely to be promiscuous and less discriminating in who they sleep with. For the OP, her guy was cheating on her with a girl with an STD. I assume he's of low character to have done that. Why is she attracted and in a relationship with a guy who would do something like that? I don't think people cheat out of nowhere. I think they're low quality people in general. It's rare you're in a relationship with a great person who decides out of nowhere to turn into a cheater. If you take your time to get to know someone before sleeping with them and talk about these things before having sex, you would be at a very low risk of getting an STD compared to someone who has lots of casual sex with strangers - that's just a fact.

[seralee]

I'm a low quality person for getting cheated on? So it was my fault? To imply that is ridiculous. It shows more about your character about your harsh judgments against people you don't know.

[pl3asehelp]

I'm a low quality person for getting cheated on? So it was my fault? To imply that is ridiculous. It shows more about your character about your harsh judgments against people you don't know.

 

It's not your fault, but not everybody would date a cheater, so it does say something about you wether you like it or not. It also says something that the guy you were dating that cheated on you slept with a girl with an STD. I'm sure there were other indications the guy that cheated on you was a douche prior to him cheating, no? Why didn't you break up with him then?

[rosephase]

I'm just saying I don't think it has any bearing or not on weather someone is a keeper. That's insulting to people who work hard not to get STD's. Like we're ****s or something for not wanting to get a disease and being willing to discriminate who we sleep with to ensure we stay disease free.

 

You know what? I think someone who is willing to stay with someone they love even if they have an STD *is* a keeper. It's someone willing to do research and deal with stigma.

 

Despite what you say most people who have STDs aren't bad people. They are just people who have/had a sexually transmitted infection.

 

Most _people_ have had or currently do have an STD.

 

You make your choice but it would be super awesome if you could make them without adding stigma to other people's lives. STDs spread because of stigma, people are scared to tell there partners and scared to get tested because they feel like it's the end of there sex/romantic lives. People are scared to have honest and open talks about there status and bs like this: "I think the majority of people who have STD's are certainly more likely to be promiscuous and less discriminating in who they sleep with." is hurtful and ill-informed.

[jaciej]

An infection is an infection regardless where you get it from...and should be treated has such. To judge someone has being promiscuous, feckless or somewhat unhygienic in this day and age is very backward. Diseases and infection are rife in society and can either be cured, treated or controlled. Most people get some form of sexual infection at some point in there life, the list is endless, and to sit and judge someones character based on a infection or illness is pretty low in my opinion.

[superfan]

It's not your fault, but not everybody would date a cheater, so it does say something about you wether you like it or not. It also says something that the guy you were dating that cheated on you slept with a girl with an STD. I'm sure there were other indications the guy that cheated on you was a douche prior to him cheating, no? Why didn't you break up with him then?

 

So everybody who cheats is immediately "low quality" and everybody who has an STD is promiscuous and less discerning about who they sleep with? I cheated on a boyfriend when I was 17. Didn't know how yet to break up with someone in an adult manner. I felt horrible about it afterwards and I completely own up to that mistake. I screwed up. I have not cheated on a partner since and I have absolutely no intention to ever cheat on my husband. I am not a "low quality person" for what I did. I made a mistake I learned from and have not repeated.

 

Nor are people who contract an STD automatically "sexually promiscuous" or less discerning. Much like pregnancy it only takes ONE time with someone to develop an STD and if you look at statistics, most people at some point in their lives have had an STD of some kind.

 

And as for the comment that the OP is somehow to blame because she dated someone who cheated on her. To automatically assume that she somehow "should have known" he was a douche or that he cheated and is therefore "to blame" for continuing the relationship is ludicrous. I am sure there are many people on this forum whose partners have cheated and absolutely blind sided them. And, to that end, I would venture to say that most of us have at some point been cheated on by a partner even if they aren't aware of it. The boyfriend I cheated on when I was 17 never found out about it. It was while I was on vacation and I never told him as I had intended to break up with him no matter what and didn't see it necessary. It would have hurt him more. To say that somehow people should "know" when they are with a cheater is ridiculous. We have no way of knowing that going into a relationship and if someone betrays the trust we put in them, it is THEIR fault and nobody else's. Period.