how long until someone begins to miss you?

[mtski]

if you start no contact.... how long does it take for someone to not be angry and forgive and start to miss you... IF they are missing you. i realize they might not be missing you at all.... but if they are?

[IAmFCA]

In my case, he was missing me like crazy the whole time (a big fat two weeks that I will have to do again soon), but missing me didn't magically change his situation. The reasons I did NC still exist. Its a good reminder that NC is to help ourselves, not to change someone else's behavior.

 

In that sense, NC helped me a ton.

[einsteins_girl]

Months ago, I would've hated hearing this, but it's the truth. It doesn't matter how long it takes. They may miss you the second you walk out the door. They may never miss you. What matters is that, whether they miss you or not, they're gone, and no amount of wondering if they miss you now... or now... or now... is going to bring them back.

[JohnGalt]

They always will miss you. They will always think about you from time to time. But just because they might have a dream, a thought, or a feeling doesn't mean they are going to act on it. Most of the time, they just ignore it.

 

If you want your ex to miss you it has to be No Contact Plus.

 

So it has to be No Contact + You moving on. If you're doing No Contact, but your friends are telling her that you're still sad. . . you're screwed. If you're doing No Contact, but it looks like you're happy and healthy and different...she'll see you in a different light and start to miss you.

 

Thinking about when I dumped girls...I usually was firm in the beginning that it was the right decision. I broke up and didn't look back. I broke up with a girl in January of 10. She was heartbroken. By November of 10 I missed her a lot, but I was with my now ex and was happy. If I were single at the time, I would've gone back after her. So give it about 8-10 months and some luck.

[markie6]

If you're doing No Contact, but it looks like you're happy and healthy and different...she'll see you in a different light and start to miss you.

No , not always the case, it can provide a lot of relief to any guilt they feel if they know you're ok and doing well

 

It depends on the individual and why they left and what they're doing. Most times we're not missed enough, that's all there is to realise.

[ravenbaxterme]

2 weeks at the max...they doubt if you ever existed in their life and start having this weird feeling and want things to go back on track...thats wen they start missing you.

[dreamstate83]

Well in all of my cases where I was the dumpee out of a long term relationship, my exes have come back around in 6-7 months with the whole "I made a mistake" line. By then it's always too late. In the cases where I was the dumper, I didn't miss them at all (I know this doesn't help you).

[mtski]

why is it that guys always come back when its too late. i try to remind myself to keep him in mind.... but by the time they come back im over it.

[mtski]

thanks. its nice to hear the guys point of view. the thing is..... hes home from out of the country and the likelihood of running into him tomorrow are like so high.

so my goal is to not over drink and when i see him i might wave if we see eachother. if he chooses to come say hi, i guess thats up to him. i feel that i should portray that im over it and happy and moved on like he told me to and never looked back. right? fake it til i make it

[rebellefleur]

You never know. I think it'll take a good amount of time for them to miss you in a beneficial way (months, many months maybe)- of course they could miss you at any point- a week, a few weeks, but it doesn't necessarily mean anything.

 

In my case, he was missing me like crazy the whole time (a big fat two weeks that I will have to do again soon), but missing me didn't magically change his situation. The reasons I did NC still exist. Its a good reminder that NC is to help ourselves, not to change someone else's behavior.

 

In that sense, NC helped me a ton.

 

ITIC made a really good point- missing someone doesn't change anything, ya know? A month and a half of NC for me and i woke up one morning to a long text, which i never got, i was always the one sending novels to my ex...and he gushed about how he missed me and was thinking of me a lot lately. He asked if we could meet, i foolishly did, and he told me he wanted to focus on us and try again. Yay right? Not so much. He pulled that rug right out from under my feet and laughed at me the whole time i fell flat on my face all over again. He came back because he missed me, then all of a sudden once it came to putting effort into starting over he did NOTHING and started playing the "confused" card again. He told me how he didn't know if his feelings would come back, but he missed me when i was away.

 

In the end, you may want him to miss you because it's comforting to know that you are missed, of course we want to be missed, it means we meant something to them - but just because they miss you (it's a selfish feeling honestly, they're missing you- they're missing the comfort you gave them, the attention, the ego boost, the physical aspect, etc. but are they honestly missing the RELATIONSHIP with you aka the effort and the time and the responsibilities and the work involved? probably not)- it doesn't mean that they'll be coming back and knowing that they want you all over again.

 

Just be careful. Your ex WILL miss you, it's human. But who knows to what extent and who knows what exactly they'll be missing, that's the scary part.

[dreamstate83]

In the cases where I've given second chances to people, it didn't work out. What I've come to realize is that no matter how perfect you think that person was for you, the right one won't have to lose you to realize what they had. I think that's the hardest truth to come to terms with when moving on past someone, but once you realize the gravity of said truth it makes things much easier.

[sharky988]

The few times I've been a dumper, I've noticed very strong dumper's remorse starts to set in at the third week mark (if the dumpee has gone NC).

 

The one time I was a dumper and reconciled, it was after several months of complete NC. It was only by dating other people that I realized how uncommon the connection with my ex was. I think this is because I was in my early 20's and less experienced, so I took our relationship for granted. I missed him the entire time, but I still thought I could get over him and it wasn't until I was out there dating other people who didn't treat me as well that I realized what I lost. We did end up reconciling and were married for many years, so that was a happy ending.

 

But I think if things had worked out with someone new during those months apart, we probably wouldn't have reconciled. The thing is, how often do you just meet someone new and have things work out? When you put yourself back out there and start getting rejected by new people, the first place you go for comfort is the ex you still have residual feelings for.... that's what tipped the scales for me, anyway, from just missing him to asking him to get back together.

[eastonweston]

In the cases where I've given second chances to people, it didn't work out. What I've come to realize is that no matter how perfect you think that person was for you, the right one won't have to lose you to realize what they had. I think that's the hardest truth to come to terms with when moving on past someone, but once you realize the gravity of said truth it makes things much easier.

 

Perfect. Spot on.

[Amandacast57]

I think we see a lot of people NOT getting back together because so many people on his board are trying to get back with someone who really isn't right for them. And of course, you don't see it now. But looking back, you will probably see that you didn't have much in common or that they were really verbally abusive to you or lied. So of course it is not going to work to get back together because typically, people don't change.