The crap has hit the fan now

[MissMandaJo]

I was afraid my boyfriend of 7 months was severely depressed. After consulting MANY people, I decided I should talk to his parents about it. I talked to his dad for about 30 min and we was glad that I called.

 

Long story short, he found out that I talked to his dad.

 

He told me to stay out of his life.

 

What am I supposed to do?

[avman]

Give him a couple of days to cool off. Then try to talk to him again. Sometimes you have to risk angering the one you love in order to save them. If the love is true and the relationship is otherwise healthy, it will survive this.

[MissMandaJo]

He told me I had no business to call, no right, I was violating, f****d up, etc etc. I REALLY don't think he's going to ever forgive me for this. He can't understand that I did it out of concern. He was building a wall around himself and I didn't know what else to do.

[avman]

You did the right thing. He just can't see that right now. Let the anger subside. Don't write off the relationship just yet. He's not thinking about what he is saying right now.

[MissMandaJo]

Thats what everybody is telling me. I honestly don't think he's going to forgive me on this one. His best friend caught up to me at the end of the day and wants me to call after 6 to talk about it. He said Aaron has no grasp on reality anymore and somethings really wrong with him.... this is so frustrating.

[Scout]

You definitely did the right thing. The fact is, often the "right" thing is the hardest thing. But you did it anyway. I don't know you, but I'm very, very proud of you.

 

As for your boyfriend, he will cool down eventually, and you can also remind him that if he saw you in the grip of a depression as alarming as his is, he would have done the same thing.

[IsiahsCowgirl]

Hey sweetie... just sit back and let things work themselves out...

 

if you need me you can get a hold of me...

 

luv ya darlin

[Roasted Carrots]

Don't worry....you did the right thing and deserve a pat on the back right now.

 

I was actually in your borfriend's position: severly wacked out, not opening up to anybody but my boyfriend and a few close friends. I was even comptemplating suicide...then someone had the good sense to inform my parnents.

 

If my parents hadn't been told, I probably wouldn't be here today.

 

At first I was pissed they had "ratted me out" but after a few tears and fits, I got over it. And I'm happy now.

 

So stick it out, and know you did the right thing for the man you love. He'll come around eventually, and will see how strong you were to take those first loving steps to helping him help himself.

 

Good luck to both of you!

[Finch]

Well it is great that you care so much for him that you are willing to call his parents. Right now I don't think he's seeing that side of the argument and probably feels like you betrayed him and are against him. Even though it is totally the opposite.

 

I'm concerned that no matter how much time you spend trying to convince him that you love him and you did this out of love, that he might not forgive you. Stubborn people are like this sometimes and can really only understand what makes sense to them at the moment and have trouble seeing both sides of the argument.

 

It's best to give him some time to cool off, but not enough distance so that he begins to think that you truly do not care. I would fight for this guy.. just because you need to show him how much you do care.