I just need to vent, I wish she'd fall off the face of the earth

[maggieMAE]

I regret complaining about her silence before on here. And just before that silence ended, I felt it coming and even posted about it. Now I just feel intruded upon.

 

I noted before that she started leaving voicemails of our songs, all from a blocked number because she got a cell phone right after we split, but obviously didn't want me to have her number all while trying to get me hooked again. What a jerk. Why, when she already has a new gf who she was probably courting before we broke up, would she even bother? I think it is just so disgusting to do that. Have mercy! Luckily, I laughed off those stupid voicemails and didn't let it bother me. But I feared her reaction from my lack of a response.

 

Now that that didn't inspire a crap storm of emotional responses from me, I guess she's mad cuz she keeps contacting me about stuff she left at my house. Not asking for anything, but demanding her things, and accusing me of lying. I don't have any of the things she said she left here, and I let her know that and said goodbye. She then accused me of ruining her belongings, or lying about not having them just to be difficult.

 

It's SUCH an insignificant situation, and I know it. But it's messing me up. She was very controlling, intense, and intrusive during our relationship. When I saw the texts that were accusing me of damaging her stuff, I literally felt a tightness in my chest and throat (the same physical sensations I felt during arguments in the relationship.)

 

When that died down a bit, the next day she texted me about a CD I made for her, asking if I happened to have that. I just said, "Are you kidding me?" And she replied with, "Well when you return my stuff I'd like that back too". I don't drive. She does. She actually told me to get on the bus and deliver her stuff to her, many times over the past year. I told her about 5 times in a row that I had nothing of her, but if something of hers were to turn up I'd let her know or just mail it. When that didn't shut her up, I finally snapped and said she was being very inappropriate and to leave me the heck alone. Mind you, she has paintings, MANY books, and clothes of mine that she's refused to return. Even "lol"ed at me when I asked for them back.

 

I'm just mad. I'm so mad that a partnership/friendship I respected couldn't have ended on a civil note. I'm mad it turned into a toxic relationship after everything we went through. I'm mad that I got played. I'm mad she can't leave me alone. I'm mad that she feels she has the right to demand her crap that I don't have, yet I can't get any of my stuff back. I'm mad she's suuuuuch a "victim", and yet look at how she disrespects me. I'm mad she's painting me black to all of our mutual friends, who I've since cut off too cuz I can't handle the gossip. I let them know I just need some space and time. I'm mad that she kept telling me a few weeks after our breakup that she wouldn't be talking crap about me to them, and just to try to get me to agree that I wouldn't either. I sure didn't agree. I didn't say anything. I made that connection when someone suggested her having BPD, and I was just reading up on breakups with BPDers. I don't believe I'm in the position to make the call of *** is wrong with her tho, so I let that go. But reading the characteristics did help in some ways.

 

She's even been hiding her new relationship from our friends. The only reason I know is she changed her relationship status on FB to "in a relationship with so-and-so" and hid it from that group of people, but let MY friends see it. I called her out on it, and she admitted it. Yet none of her friends know, and they think I'm insane since I told one person about it and it quickly got around to all of them, and she completely denied it to them. I only brought it up cuz a mutual friend and I were getting coffee and I just threw it out there that I didn't want any details about her or her new gf. I look nuts!

 

If you want a quick synopsis, she dumped me for someone else when my dog died. Literally, the day after. Screw her. And now it's all in my freaking head?

 

I just really hate this girl at this point.

 

And based on her actions, I'm proud of myself. I'm happy to know I'd act with more class and tact if I were to meet someone else. I AM the better person. And it makes me feel good.

 

Sorry for my rant. It probably makes no sense, and I jumped from one irritation to the next. I don't really have any questions about the situation, I just needed to share. I felt like I was losing my mind for awhile there because I'm both grieving and wondering if I was the problem. If my sense of reality about the relationship was false and if she was right in calling me the crazy one. But no, I truly don't believe that. I'm starting to thank the heavens that she's gone. It still hurts though.

[lilylilylily]

Why don't you delete her from facebook and completely ignore her 100%? Screw what your friends might think, you don't have to be 'friends' with her or 'reply' to her texts anymore.

[maggieMAE]

I deleted and blocked her months ago. She just started calling my cell and my parents' house recently. BAH! I'm getting my number changed once I pay off tuition and have the extra money. I stupidly responded when she was asking for her things just cuz I thought it would be childish not to let her know they aren't here. I feel like she's gonna fight with me over a tampon she left here next, and demand I return it. So stupid. Never dating again.