I AM CONFUSED AND DONT KNOW WHAT I SHOULD DO...help please

[confusedlilboy]

ok..i have been dating this girl for years now....but things seemed to have got too routine. Then a few months back she was acting like she wasnt that attracted to me, even though though we always hung out. I began to think to myself that i wanted to be single again. I decided to be honest with her and tell her this..and tell her that i thought i might want a break from her for a while. Well what i meant was take a break, date someone else, yada yada....so she gave me like a two day break instead. She is extremely emotional and can really be dependant emotionally. so we hung out the other day and i didnt let anything happen...then the next day i did let things happen....then last night..i didnt know what i wanted...i even felt weird about the day before. Last night i also found out a few things that really bothered me...basically made it sound like she would get extremely depressed and maybe suicidal if i left.....and the weird part that scares me and wants me to get away. I dont think i want to be this serious. So..now i am confused...i love her....but....i still have feelings like i just want to be single and just worry about myself....any advice would be great..and yeah we have talked a lot..but it doesnt seem to solving anything

[TheIrish]

you are boring her and yourself by doing the same things over and over try something new and out of the ordinary for you, she will notice; which bringing a spark to the relationship again...itll be more fun for the 2 of you this way

[winkie]

I think you really need to figure out want you want for yourself, before you mess up this girls mind. I think that you dont want to be alone. Sometimes you have to be by yourself with no ties to really figure out what you want.

[Anamarie89]

First, evaluate your own feelings. If you don't want to break up with her (regardless of how you feel about her, if you think that staying together would be a good thing for you to do), then don't read on. If you truly DO want to break up with her, then you have to be true to yourself and not let yourself stay in a relationship that you don't feel fully comfortable in.

 

Then, if you think that she will truly become suicidal if you break up with her for real, then try and get her to open up to someone who can help her. A school counselor, for example, would definitely be the best (I don't know how old you are and if you're still in school).

 

Don't feel obligated to stay with her in a relationship that you don't feel comfortable in. Good luck, keep us posted.

[confusedlilboy]

i honestly dont think she is suicidal, i think its more the fact that she is really dependant and is just extremely scared to break up. I dunno, I am confused because I dont know what i want and I dont know if its right to stay with someone when your not sure like this. does that make any sense....

[moonz]

hi,

 

i think i'm like ur gf now. my bf just broke up wif mi saying he wanna be alone. he said he dun love mi anymore. it really breaks my heart. coz i really picture us getting married and stuff like tat.

 

not knowing wat u wanna is very hard for u and her. i had stopped calling my bf for 1 week, hoping that giving him some time to think will be good for us. i cried almost everyday, cannot concentrate on my work and studies...think i'm dying too. i held on to the hope that by leaving him alone, mayb he will think of mi, miss mi and come back eventually. i guess that being too close in the relationship can be so stressed at times for the guy. i love him so much and i really believe in our love.

 

if u really need time to think abt ur relationship, and u r not entirely sure that u dun love ur gf anymore, pls dun say u wanna break up just like that. tell her u need time to think. re-assure her that u will be back. not sure if the book "men r from mars and women r from venus" will help u or not. i wanna to believe it so much coz it said, if the woman wait, the man will eventually be back. if taking the break will make u love her more, do take it. but dun abuse it by dragging it for 4-6mths, and get involved wif another ger. it will not be fair to her. give her a timeline. she needs ur assurance so much now...

 

pls dun break another heart...