What is the Online Dating Protocol...

[paperboy48]

I received an email from a woman on match a few days ago...we have some things in common and have exchanged a few emails back and forth.

 

 

Never having done this before...how does this work?

 

 

I ask her for her number to call her...and if so, at what point?

 

 

Then if the phone calls go good for a while, I ask her out?

 

 

I was thinking about askign her to go bowling at some point rather than sitting in a bar/restaraunt staring at each other trying to think of things to say to each other....

[camus154]

Typically, yes, you exchange numbers and then talk on the phone at least one time. Get a sense of whether you have any rapport. From there you'd normally schedule a date. I'd recommend doing this at the end of the very first phone call if all goes well. A lot of people drag this stage out, but I don't see the point in doing that--you're both doing this for the same reasons and there's no need to waste time beating around the bush.

 

Bowling sounds like a great idea for a first date. But I will say the reason the coffee date is so popular is because no matter how you get along online or on the phone, there's always a possibility one or both of you will realize there's no chemistry within the first few minutes of meeting. It's awkward to have that happen and still have a lengthy date ahead of you.

 

Good luck!

[happyfrank]

Ask for the number if you feel vibe with her e-mails.

 

If you're having fun with phone conversation ask her out.

 

Just be yourself and have fun. I think bowling is excellent idea.

[MJWasHere]

But I will say the reason the coffee date is so popular is because no matter how you get along online or on the phone, there's always a possibility one or both of you will realize there's no chemistry within the first few minutes of meeting. It's awkward to have that happen and still have a lengthy date ahead of you.

 

Good luck!

 

I know the "quick coffee meet" is popular with people, but I have never done it. All my dates have been drinks at a bar and food. However, I am very selective about who I go out with, and I think very good at judging whether I'll be attrated to someone. Out of 6 I've met this summer, only 1 was someone I didnt have an in-person attraction to. ALSO -- for myself, I LOOK like my pictures (really I look better than my pics IMO), so I tell people "Hey you dont need to do a quick meet with me - if you like my pics, you'll like me".

 

But at any rate - I prefer the "meet for drinks at happy hour" plan, and that way you cna then go into dinner if you want, or if not you can cut it short.

 

For younger poeple, bowling is a good idea for a first date -- a game of bowling can be as quick as 30 min, or you can drag it out to an all night thing. The physicality of bowling is sexy too!

[paperboy48]

 

For younger poeple, bowling is a good idea for a first date -- a game of bowling can be as quick as 30 min, or you can drag it out to an all night thing. The physicality of bowling is sexy too!

 

When you say younger people....what age are you reffering to?

[Anderson Silva]

I spent my share of time years ago online dating and would usually feel comfortable with:

 

1. Exchange 2-3 emails on the dating site, then

2. Take the conversation to MSN messenger, spend a couple of hours (on and off) chatting on there, then

3. Exchange numbers, spend 15-20 minutes talking on the phone and end that conversation with arranging to meet for a first date, then

4. Go on the first date

 

Dinner and drinks was usually my most comfortable choice for a first date. I would always try to arrange the first date for Tuesday or Wednesday night. This I found benefitial to me in two ways, 1) if the date is going no-where you can always cut it short insisting you have a very early work day the next day, and 2) if the date goes really well it gives you a perfect opportunity to follow up to see her on the weekend which is just long enough away 3-4 days.

 

PS, for the sequence 1-4 above. Sometimes it would take me weeks from first exchanging an email to actually going through all the steps and going on that first date. Sometimes things would move very fast and we would exchange the first email in the afternoon and that day we would aready be chatting away on the phone and making plans to meet in the next few days. So the pace is something you have to best judge yourself as some people are more comfortable with moving things more quickly.

[Roxie84]

Welcome to online dating and all the crazy and different dating rules that apply lol.

 

Typically I'd say give her your number and give her the option to text or call you. Some people take a more stand-offish approach and talk over messenger or skype before talking on the phone, but that's up to you.

 

You will meet a lot of people online who are not comfortable with "normal" dating and therefore are inexperienced when it comes to talking and going on dates. Therefore, you may find yourself meeting some people who come accross as strange or who are overly persistent. With that considered, it's always a good idea to give your phone number to a select number of people. The last thing you want is a persistent person ringing down your phone or bumbarding you with texts.

 

Play it smart, and best of luck to you with your dates

[lilylilylily]

Forget the phone calls!

 

At the end of your next message, add a "Do you fancy grabbing a coffee or somesuch together?" (in your own personality of course). In all likelihood she will retreat a little from the invitation, which you should then respond by lightly teasing her with ('ooh too scared to meet me?' or 'I'm not that scary!')

 

If she says no but continues messaging, you should keep dropping invitations until you get a yes (or until you get bored).

[Sportster2005]

I received an email from a woman on match a few days ago...we have some things in common and have exchanged a few emails back and forth.

 

 

Never having done this before...how does this work?

 

 

I ask her for her number to call her...and if so, at what point?

 

 

Then if the phone calls go good for a while, I ask her out?

 

 

I was thinking about askign her to go bowling at some point rather than sitting in a bar/restaraunt staring at each other trying to think of things to say to each other....

 

Online dating and protocol don't belong in the same system. It's more like anarchy.

[Deejmonster]

So is it normal to go straight from email to face-to-face? I just met a girl off match as well and after the first message that she sent back to me she told me that she thinks she is what I am looking for and that we should meet up. I never had someone do this.. usually I give out my number and we text for a week or so then meet... then go from there... We have emailed back and forth learning a little more about each other but we already have a date scheduled for this saturday. Usually girls like to drag it out it seems... then one of us gets bored of the other person and we stop talking. Is meeting quickly a better chance at success?

 

(sorry to high jack the thread, I still think this is relevant though)

[shellyf62]

Forget the phone calls!

 

At the end of your next message, add a "Do you fancy grabbing a coffee or somesuch together?" (in your own personality of course). In all likelihood she will retreat a little from the invitation, which you should then respond by lightly teasing her with ('ooh too scared to meet me?' or 'I'm not that scary!')

 

If she says no but continues messaging, you should keep dropping invitations until you get a yes (or until you get bored).

 

Sorry, but I disagree with you.

I have spent a lot of time online dating, and made the mistake of not speaking to a couple of guys on the phone before I met them. These dates turned out to be disasters.

These men could not string a sentence together, let alone hold a decent conversation, so I bid a hasty retreat from them.

At least if you chat with them on the phone you get a "feel" for them, find out if they have a sense of humour and if you two gel. It also lets you hear their voice, which I find a great indicatior of whether I will find them attractive ( just one of my quirks)