I have a strong suspicion that my ex is already dating again

[detroitlove]

I have a strong suspicion that my ex is already dating some other guy. We were together for 3 years and for over a year we would talk with certainty about marriage and our kids, about where we were going to live/do etc. In 1 weeks time, she said it was over. As most of you, this completely caught me off guard.

Following about a week of intense pain, I began to accept a few things. You know, she made the mistake, her loss, etc. But then I began to really look forward to the call or email from her saying she made a mistake and was sorry, I thought she would come crawling back to me. I thought I would get great satisfaction telling her, "nope, sorry, you had your chance", which would give her some of the pain she so brutally gave to me.

However, now I have a strong suspicion that she has already found some other guy in her life, making her fall head over heels in his love. This is merely one, 1!, week after the most intense relationship of both of our lives. A couple days after she broke up with me, because I supposedly didn't suit her needs, many needs that is, I sent her email kind of telling her off, but in a very nice way, and at the end I included things like, 'I don't want to lose my best friend' kind of stuff. So, she emailed me back angirly telling me that I never gave her the things she needed in life, and how she's met people in the last 3 weeks that have given her more than me in the last 3 years, ouch I know. So after reading this, I called her and said, "answer me one question, is there someone else, like specifically that has given you all this stuff I never did?" And she said, "yes, but not in the way that you think". (Hmmm, what am I supposed to think). She went on to say (lie) that there was many people, not one, that made her realize what I didn't give her. At the end of the call I kind of believed her, yet, I couldn't pull myself away from the gut feeling that she wasn't being totally honest with me. I also suspect this from those stupid "away messages" on AOL instant messengers, which she always puts up. I have a screen name that she doesn't have, and block the one that she does, so she thinks that I'm not reading them. I know it sounds "stalkerish" to do this, but I guess I'm just really lonely, and have a need to know how she's "feeling" from those away messages. I'm kind of hoping that she's depressed, I mean, at least give me that. Her away message last night said, "…is it possible to fall in love so quickly, with baseball? (wink)", you know, like she's joking about the baseball thing, yet serious about the love part (the wink). So I read this and automatically presume that she was watching the baseball game last night with some guy that she finds f**@#ng charming, and questioning how she can fall so quickly in "love" with him. It's worth noting that this girl has absolutely no interest in sports. I know, it's not smart to check up on your ex like I've been doing, but I am just so damn confused about everything that I need something, anything, to fully understand why she did this to me, and have that hope of not letting go. I must remind you that this has all happened in a matter of one week after ending a relationship where this girl absolutely adored me.

What I suspect my ex of doing is a complete slap in my face. It's like kicking me when I'm already down on the ground, telling me not to get up. I mean seriously, this girl expressed so much love for me in 3 years, and now she's already "falling in love" with some guy she's probably known for 2-3 weeks!? At least give me the dignity of being hurt because you dumped someone you loved. At least be moderately unhappy for "having to" end a relationship. At least think about our love we shared for 3 years. At least think about me. I think I deserve at least a crossing thought, not one that says "he never used to do this/that and this one does", but one that misses at least a small part of Me.

I never thought I could hurt as much as I have been, but knowing that she is as happy as ever and "in love" with some other guy she probably doesn't even know, is hurting me even more.

It hurts because she is completely disregarding what we had for 3 years in a matter of a week, and doesn't even bother giving me the dignity and respect I deserve after 3 years by at least thinking of me.

[usied]

this seems to happen alot...its a rebound it couldnt have been that horrible those whole three years...she needs someone to fill the void..just means this is a quick fix to her problems if there even is another guy..and even so most likely it wont even work out and a little down the road she will realize what she had with you was really special...so you can still have that feeling of hah coulda had me your loss ..bc alot of ppl think down the road hmm that was the best realationship i will prolly ever had...as long as you cant think of any thing horrible that you have done ...but for your own sanity i would not read her away messages ...we all do those things ..but it only hurts our feelings by doing it ...hang in there..and just keep yourself busy..she may come ''crawling'' back or you could find someone else too

[melrich]

Really this is probably the best thing that could happen for you. Take my word for it, your ex is in denial and has not dealth with the grief of ending your relationship (probably feels like she is living in a bit of as dream at the moment) Trust me, at some stage (if you were as close as you say you were) it will hit her very hard. She may even come to the conclusion she has made a big mistake given all this was so sudden.

 

For you...stay away from her completely. No calls, no questioning her friends etc. It will help you. Sure as night follows day, your ex will one day be hiyt by a wave of guilt and sadness that she will find difficult to ignore. You may here about it, you may not, but it will happen. Rebound relationships are usually just a way people seek to soften the blow.

[BayArean]

hey man, i feel you bro. My ex of 5 years just decided to stop giving the attention she used to give to me away to some other guy outta the blue. We were cool with each other for 5 years and then bam, she's on some other guys nuts. I too wanted her to feel the hurt i went through but i just took it upon myself to understand that maybe its the best thing for both of us because now I can see what else is out there. Hard to say and hard to hear but it's true. If she was truly down for you, she wouldn't have left you like that. Seems like some women in this world don't realize the power they have over men in general. I know man it hurts but the only thing we can do is suck it up and move on (hard to say hard to hear). I still wake up thinking of her, it's been 2 months since, but i also know that I gotta do everything to benefit myself, to take care of myself and do things that just seem so selfish but i'm doing these things for MYSELF. Sure going out with your friends and keeping busy are hard but it's what you gotta do and make sure you really distance yourself from her. That'll help everything. We'll all heal, it's just takes time to find yourself and find the things to make you happy again. Good luck

[chadntx]

Well I can promise you she didn't just find this guy after you two split up. This is a guy she had already or had waiting in the wings so to speak. My wife tried to tell me she needed time to think and was all the sudden with her "girlfriends" all the time whom I never knew in five years. Needless to say I then began hearing she was with this guy whom I suspected months prior. So now she is with this guy she claims she just started seeing after we filed for divorce, but I know better and to tell you the truth I could care less. In the past few months I relized alot about love and marriage and I had neitheir to say the least. I felt as if I was going to die at one time but your pain turns to hate and regret for falling for someone of their caliber. This guy she is with left his wife with a 5 month old baby and all so they deserve one another and I wish them all the best....okay I'm going to far with it..

[Foz]

My ex is already seeing other people. i went snooping and checked his emails and there he was bragging to all his friends about all the girls he's been with. I couldnt believe it, we were together for 3.5 years and living together for 2. he broke up with me and now he is jumping from woman to woman. I believe he is trying to boost his ego..im angry though its like he cares nothing for me anymore..