Going down on my bf...?

[Cluedo]

My boyfriend and I have lived together for about 7 months so far. I really love him and sometimes I want to treat him to a really good blowjob...the thing is though that it can never be hot and spontaneous...he always HAS to have a shower and it's really annoying because I don't care about that stuff, I mean if he was dirty and hadn't bathed for a couple of days than yes I would probably not consider it but he's just so restrictive with times I can do it to him.

He's also not a hugely sexual guy like I first thought, he's way too cautious when it comes to sex and trying new things and even again, times when we can get really hot and bothered and just do it!

 

Is this normal for a guy to be this way? or maybe I'm abnormal, I've just realized that I really like sex and figure why not be spontaneous and passionate sometimes!

[JA0371]

Ummm you should be thankful your bf wants to shower before you give him a bj...he has standards and is clean. What's the issue with this?

[ShyGirl12]

Some people are really self-conscious about that stuff. My advice to you is that if that's when he's most comfortable, why not just make your move after he showers?

[pippy longstocking]

I guess he wont fully relax if he doesn;t feel clean , therefore wont enjoy it to its full potential.

 

I know I wouldn't if I felt anything less than sparkling .

 

I agree though it does take the spontaneity out of it .

 

This might sound a bit yuk in black and white , but I know a couple of men who like the odour

of a woman who is clean , but not freshly washed if that makes sense, maybe you could explain that to him ,

that you like his scent and would like him to relax enough to at least give it a go.

[MasterPo]

Yeah, shower definitely. I do understand the other aspect but its up to him. You can really damage intimate activity by demanding what you want not what he's comfortable with. He might not understand the aspects of a GREAT BJ either, hell I didn't and now I'm a fan. Unless you have a clock running, take your time and work the kinks out so to speak.

[Blue92]

Some guys sweat down there and smell a little more prominent than others. But, in any case, I think showering beforehand is a good thing.

[drmcsugar]

A lot of posters don't seem to understand that he may "have stands and likes to be clean," but that also kills the purpose of steamy, spontaneous hot sex that a lot of people are into. I'd be annoyed too if a guy I was dating excused himself to go showering before getting down and DIRTY with me every single time.

 

He seems overly self-conscious and since you mentioned he's not sexual as you thought he was, do you know if he's on any prescription drugs like anxiety meds, etc...?

 

Bottom line is if your main concern is to give him a really amazing blowjob, then do it his way - he likes to shower beforehand; maybe that's what makes it feel good for him? Some people are more sensitive after a bath or shower. But if this is an issue for your satisfaction because he's unable to be down for spontaneous, sexy time which pleases you and he also doesn't care much for sex/intimacy, you need to talk to him.

[boxpin]

I don't think you should push him too hard on this. He probably likes a certain level of personal hygiene before he can feel comfortable with your face in that area. I can understand. Funky junk is a turn off to me personally but to each their own.

[xonicolemarie]

I have a tip that might help if hes self conscious...buy some flavoured lube that you can just whip out when ur in the mood..that way u can tell him theres nothing to worry about and that it makes him taste great without having to shower...and that can be spontaneous too! "hey babe, look what i got!" haha

[Lockwood]

Next time get "spontaneous" while he's having a shower.

 

Lemons into lemonade, etc.

[blackgnat]

I agree with you that this showering beforehand all the time kills the moment.

 

While you do NOT want him to be funkdafied, as you said, spontaneity can be a big turn on.

 

My marriage ended because of our differing sex drives. One component of that was my ex's fastidiousness. Have you ever seen the movie, "Bob and Carol, Ted and Alice" (you may be too young, haha!) but the one scene that always resonated with me was the one where the two couples agree to have a foursome and one of them (I think it was Elliot Gould-who you mightn't know, either-madly dating myself here!) was in the bathroom, scrubbing away and flossing and the like, while the others were waiting in bed for the good stuff to begin...

 

Just sayin'. I get your point and it would tick me off, too!

[Roxie84]

I guess he wont fully relax if he doesn;t feel clean , therefore wont enjoy it to its full potential.

 

I know I wouldn't if I felt anything less than sparkling .

 

I agree though it does take the spontaneity out of it .

 

This might sound a bit yuk in black and white , but I know a couple of men who like the odour

of a woman who is clean , but not freshly washed if that makes sense, maybe you could explain that to him ,

that you like his scent and would like him to relax enough to at least give it a go.

 

YES! I was just going to say this. The smell of your partner's phermones (the sexual hormone) is one of the most seductive scents. And the genitals are one of the largest hot-spots for phermones. Being able to go down on him when his natural scent has had a few hours to surface is absolutely amazing.

 

There's not much you can do about his habit though. If he feels uncomfortable with you going down on him without him being freshly clean, then he would probably be too nervous to actually enjoy the blowjob.

 

This is a tricky one, but not a huge deal. Maybe once you have been together a little longer he will lighten up a little.

[MasterPo]

YES! I was just going to say this. The smell of your partner's phermones (the sexual hormone) is one of the most seductive scents. And the genitals are one of the largest hot-spots for phermones. Being able to go down on him when his natural scent has had a few hours to surface is absolutely amazing.

 

Hmm. So is the same kind of "scent" present if you make out with a guy right after a hard work out. Not necessarily going down but the natural smell of an active man? Just asking.

[pippy longstocking]

oh hell yes masterpo ...

 

I would stick my head in my exes armpits , it turned me on ..

 

I don't mean he had a huge work out was dripping in sweat and just launched my nose into his pits , but in the course

of touching and kissing etc etc I wold relish the smell of him , his manliness , it is a huge turn on ..makes me grunt like an amimal it does hahahaha

 

roxie baby me and you would be fab together girlfriend

[MasterPo]

Good to know. Must put that knowledge to use. Thanks!

[tiredofvampires]

Hmm. So is the same kind of "scent" present if you make out with a guy right after a hard work out. Not necessarily going down but the natural smell of an active man? Just asking.

 

Best unbottled scent yet created.

 

"Manmanmanmanmanmanmanman"

 

Another one for the sweaty-and-active-man's-armpit team.

[Roxie84]

 

roxie baby me and you would be fab together girlfriend

 

Hahaha amen to that!

 

MasterPo, when a man is all sweaty and gross, his BO could possibly overpower and there isn't much of a turn on lol. But at the same time, I go to a gym with mostly men, and the smell in there is heavenly/distracting haha

 

To get a general idea, smell your pillowcase when you've gone more than a week without washing it. That! Right there! That's what your phermones smell like, and a woman who has a strong sexual attraction to you is going to loooove that scent (your head is another place that produces the smell quite powerfully).

[MasterPo]

To get a general idea, smell your pillowcase when you've gone more than a week without washing it. That! Right there! That's what your phermones smell like, and a woman who has a strong sexual attraction to you is going to loooove that scent (your head is another place that produces the smell quite powerfully).

 

Hmmm. Never knew that. I mean I understand the scent attraction but I had always thought it was cologne, aftershave type of aroma. So ... it would be a "thoughtful" gift if a guy were to send a shirt he wore that day to a girl in a LDR situation? or would that be weird?? Ya got me curious, what can I say! lol

[sara-pezzini]

To get a general idea, smell your pillowcase when you've gone more than a week without washing it. That! Right there! That's what your phermones smell like, and a woman who has a strong sexual attraction to you is going to loooove that scent (your head is another place that produces the smell quite powerfully).

 

Hmmm. Never knew that. I mean I understand the scent attraction but I had always thought it was cologne, aftershave type of aroma. So ... it would be a "thoughtful" gift if a guy were to send a shirt he wore that day to a girl in a LDR situation? or would that be weird?? Ya got me curious, what can I say! lol

 

i am in an LDR and would LOVE that as a gift!!!!!

[Roxie84]

To get a general idea, smell your pillowcase when you've gone more than a week without washing it. That! Right there! That's what your phermones smell like, and a woman who has a strong sexual attraction to you is going to loooove that scent (your head is another place that produces the smell quite powerfully).

 

Hmmm. Never knew that. I mean I understand the scent attraction but I had always thought it was cologne, aftershave type of aroma. So ... it would be a "thoughtful" gift if a guy were to send a shirt he wore that day to a girl in a LDR situation? or would that be weird?? Ya got me curious, what can I say! lol

 

LOL well that's definitely a creative idea! If she has an open mind and is tune with those sort of things, then absolutely! If it were me, I would like it