ahhh i'm so confused....or maybe just flat out naive about this girl.

[Superus]

Just a quick summary

 

- Girl introduces herself to me after 3 weeks of class. Catches me 1 on 1 and opens to me. I sit in the back/ she sits in front.

- Second day, comes up to me and gives me her phone number and asks for mine.

- Third day, she starts giving me one handed hugs and walks with me when class ends

- Waits for me when class ends

- Talks about "we should study sometimes"

- I say hi very playfully over txt. she responds to my playfull text "awww. ! how can i help you mr super10" i tell her "i just want a big hug when i see u" she responds " ;D ur order arrives on Tuesday! How r u? "

- Texts me " we could meet to study if u want tomorrow" I text back saying " umm we could study tomorrow....If u want " she writes back " Of course! tomorrow at 12! "

- When i saw her on tuesday she now gives me full hugs two hands.

- Still in the awkward stage because this is only the 4-5 time i've talked to her. and i'm usually ending the convos.

- Asks me if i play soccer i say yea i guess and she invites me to play soccer with her.

- i could tell she makes time for me when she asks to study she tells me her whole schedule and tells me all her breaks when she's available. even when she doesn't have class on a certain day she will still come to school and meet up with me to "study"

 

 

End of summary..

 

 

Fast forward to this week. On tuesday when we hung out at the library we went to class. When class ended i didn't wait up for her i just left without saying bye. (last 2-3 times she waited up for me. or approached me when class ended). I text her saying i was going to be in the library on wed and that she should come join me. She txt back "i'd love to but i'm not going to school wanna meet up tomorrow? I say "yea sure". Later in that day she text me stuff like what i got in the exam school related stuff. then like during the convo i said send me a pic of you. and she said "we'll take one tomorrow" then she follows up with more school related stuff. I'm like ok. So then the convo ended and i said see you tomorrow.

 

So today she never text'd me. I mean i didn't go to the library today but she didn't either. But what if i went and i was waiting for her...she would have never showed. Whatever, i went to class and she wasn't there. However, She did show up in the last 10 mins of class. I wouldn't even look at her, she kept turning back not sure if she was looking at me but it was in my direction. Then class ended and we both didn't acknowledge each other. also as if we were avoiding each other...at least that's how i felt. She was pretending i wasn't there. I was talking to the teacher and she was right there in front and when i finished i didn't even look at her. i mean i tried to look at her direction to see if she would look back but she didn't. She was even asking a random girl that she never talks to about h.w information. Not saying she would always come to me but still. So i just left without even acknowledging her.

 

 

Not sure why she's acting like this, Like was it because i left without saying bye last tuesday? and she wanted to get me back for today? maybe i'm acting awkward? Maybe since she put in the work she wants me to chase? I just can't wait for girls after class is over....maybe she felt disrespected? i told all my friends everything that's happened to a "T" they all agree she likes me. But for some reason why do i feel maybe she's just being friendly? am i in denial? maybe i should start putting in more interest in her?

[abitbroken]

1) she makes a big effort. Always says bye to you after class. tells you her schedule, asks if you play soccer. Tells you that you should play together. Initiates getting a phone number. Does everything except ask you out but gives you all the openings to do so.

 

2) Then you didn't wait for her after class when she usually tries to say goodbye. You didn't want to reciprocate with her.

 

3) You ask for a pic. She doesn't want to send you a phone pic, but suggests that you guys take when when you are together. If you only talked 4-5 times isn't it too early for a pic? She said "when you see eachother" so she is definitely suggesting you will.

 

4) She tells you that you'll talk tomorrow and then you are telling us it is a problem she didn't text you again. She tells you that she won't be in school. Who knows. She might not be texting because she has a family thing, doc appointment - you don't know.

 

4) She shows up for class anyways in the last 10 minutes and she seems to be looking at you, but you blank her. She doesn't wait for you longer - because maybe you blanked her the last time.

 

It would seem to me that she showed effort, and then you didn't return it. I mean, i don't get when you said that you can't wait for a girl after class. Do you leave class 15 minutes early? The class ends the same time for everybody, right? Then what is the big deal about gathering up your books and walking out and passing her and saying hi. Also, she gave you all sorts of green lights to ask you to play soccer with her, etc, i mean, how many hints does a girl need to make to show she is interested? You acted put out that she didn't come to the library when you said "you should come to the library". She might have been busy and might have not known for sure if you would be there when she could go. "you should come to the library" is not "Would you like to meet at 6 pm at the library" or better yet "Would you like to go get a coffee/ice cream/pizza tonight?"

 

Anyway, that's just my two cents.

 

If you like her, then call her up and ask her out - ask her to play soccer or to lunch.

[Superus]

Yea, i felt bad for some reason not waiting up for her.... i am interested but i feel i still act a bit awkward (maybe because she went too fast for me) because i don't know how to express my feelings that well. I could see how she would think i'm not interested if i just flat out leave class and not wait for her so we can walk together. or not even say Hi to her in class. When she invited me to play soccer i just said i wasn't good i'll hold you back....she tells me i'm not good either but i still play....and i blew it off....Then i tell her i like fitness, she then tells me "i love fitness" i responded "i love people who are into fitness"....

 

I feel like she should be chasing me, like talking to me because she initiated all this.

 

i'm not going to text her this whole week.. it just looks bad that if i text her hi but i won't acknowledge her in person.

[happpybear]

it as gotten to the point where you made her feel like you are not interested, your last interaction was you purposely ignoring her in class. Not attractive! If you are interested you should ask her out, that is what she was probably hoping you would have done when she gave you a million green lights to the point of seeming (imho) almost desperate. You dropped the ball here, ad if you wanna fix it ask her out asap, hopefully she hasn't lost interest (but i know i would have if i suspected a guy was purposefully ignoring me...)

[Superus]

it as gotten to the point where you made her feel like you are not interested, your last interaction was you purposely ignoring her in class. Not attractive! If you are interested you should ask her out, that is what she was probably hoping you would have done when she gave you a million green lights to the point of seeming (imho) almost desperate. You dropped the ball here, ad if you wanna fix it ask her out asap, hopefully she hasn't lost interest (but i know i would have if i suspected a guy was purposefully ignoring me...)

 

 

What can i do to possibly recover from this? i mean i was flat out ignoring her... but she kinda was too... i mean she dissed me today by not even texting me that she wasn't going to see me today..

 

I'm not going to see her for 4 days... i only see her twice a week....

 

like we are so pleasant over txt not sure... i could text her to see me tomorrow?

[happpybear]

i mean she dissed me today by not even texting me that she wasn't going to see me today..

 

because you were not taking the bait that she was dangling in front of you...also, maybe she wanted to apologize or talk to you about why she didn't text you, but because you ignored her she felt like 'what is the point, maybe he didn't even notice that i never texted'. You could have texted her to ask if you would be seeing her...it goes both ways, seems like she was doing most of the heavy lifting and you were not meeting her halfway.

 

If you are not going to see her in person, CALL HER (NOT TEXT) and ask her out.

[and so it goes]

I agree with the bear^^^, cut the dancing around routine and call her up and ask her on an actual date. If you are rejected then you can put the whole thing to bed and chalk it up to a weird experience.

[Superus]

Yup I think I'm finished or she's mad at me. I text her today " good morning" followed by a question about a test date.

Responds 2 hours later with " my date has switched due to my surgery I had yesterday. How r u?"

 

I responded with " ouch! are u feeling any pain today? as for me, just left the gym and on my way home to take a shower. Lets grab something to eat before you go to class."

 

 

That was at 12pm. It's 4:30 now. Either she's punishing me or she really lost interest.

[Klokwurk]

Lol, dude, relax.

 

You shouldnt have asked for a pic, that was dumb. I really think that killed it.

 

Anyway, let her contact you, just smile and act like you are totally cool... Because you are... Right?

[Superus]

Lol, dude, relax.

 

You shouldnt have asked for a pic, that was dumb. I really think that killed it.

 

Anyway, let her contact you, just smile and act like you are totally cool... Because you are... Right?

 

 

I'm not sure if it was the Pic....Think about this... she in a way went rather fast with me... like being comfortable around me in like the 2nd day... why couldn't i ask for a pic?

[Klokwurk]

Hugging isnt really "moving things fast" as you implied.

 

Asking for a pic puts a WHOLE OTHER SPIN on where the relationship is going; namely, sexual. You gotta be her friend first man, let her know she can trust you. You kind of laid your cards on the table when you asked for a pic; the cards spelled out, "i am horny", which might be the truth, but that needs to come way later in your pursuit of her, so she knows she can trust you and you guys can get to that blissful state.

[Superus]

Hugging isnt really "moving things fast" as you implied.

 

Asking for a pic puts a WHOLE OTHER SPIN on where the relationship is going; namely, sexual. You gotta be her friend first man, let her know she can trust you. You kind of laid your cards on the table when you asked for a pic; the cards spelled out, "i am horny", which might be the truth, but that needs to come way later in your pursuit of her, so she knows she can trust you and you guys can get to that blissful state.

 

 

She was inviting me to hang out with her outside of school. That's pretty high comfort level if you ask me... I really think it was me just ignoring her and not waiting up for her when class ended.. I noticed a change in her texting towards me... I just can't believe in 1 or 2 days she could have lost interest.. or is just thinking i'm not interested..IDK

 

I mean seriously if that's going to make her lose interest then i'm just going to move on. If she really likes me this shouldn't have bothered her or she should brush it off.....i was just a little confused and shy....that's all!

[Natasha24]

Hugging isnt really "moving things fast" as you implied.

 

Asking for a pic puts a WHOLE OTHER SPIN on where the relationship is going; namely, sexual. You gotta be her friend first man, let her know she can trust you. You kind of laid your cards on the table when you asked for a pic; the cards spelled out, "i am horny", which might be the truth, but that needs to come way later in your pursuit of her, so she knows she can trust you and you guys can get to that blissful state.

 

Well said, this is exactly what I was going to say. Even if your intentions were innocent, it's not a good idea to say "Send me a picture of you". I'm sure she got the wrong idea from that message.

[Superus]

If she asked for a pic i wouldn't have thought twice. I would have thought she probably thinks i'm attractive.. Not omg that's all she wants?!

 

IDK just going to move on. Like if she had a boyfriend, (which i somewhat doubt because who would act like that towards me if they did) she had her chance to tell me in the library.

[abitbroken]

Do not move on just yet!

 

I know you think she was too fast, but she was really just throwing all sorts of spaghetti against the wall to see if you would bite at something - to see if you would bite at studying, playing soccor, calling her.

 

I think you should stop this texting and then trying to interpret her response (because the lag in writing you back could be that she is actually in the middle of another class and can't text you back or was in surgery or was with a friend who is upset) and CALL her. say "Lizzie Sue, I would really like to take you out. Would you be interested in playing a little soccor and then catching dinner, or would you like to go to a movie?" If she says "no, i don't really want to go out with you." Done. But if she says = "oh, i would love to" or "How about neither of those and we go to the art festival?" You are in. Also, if she had surgery why not buy her a flower as a get well soon?

 

You really are talking yourself out of this and telling us that because she is not pushing so hard any more she is not interested - you got to up your game and tell her you are interested by actually CALLING her and caring about her welfare and asking to see her outside of class. You are i guess playing the "cool" guy who doesn't care - so she doesn't think you are into her. And its not moving fast - she is just trying to get to know you and you ignored her.

 

she had her chance to tell me in the library.

 

So you give her one time - and you don't set up a time. You just expect her to show up even if she has plans, another class or is worried that you won't be there. The library wasn't "i will pick you up for a movie and 8" and she doesn't show. The library wasn't a mutually agreed upon plan. You were unfairly testing her and if she was having surgery - you don't know what else she had in those days to prepare for it.

[Superus]

It's kind of hard not to think she's not Interested. I text her at 12pm asking her if she was in any pain, also telling her what I was up to. I ended the text by asking her we should grab something to eat before you start class. It's 8:00pm and no response. To me that's rude and tells me a lot.

 

Sure I admit I was acting really awkward on Thursday and I didn't even say hi. My fault but she did t say hi to me either.

 

I just don't how to recover from that text I sent her.

 

Maybe I should just man up And start initiating things and stop expecting her to. She couldn't have lost Interest in 2 days!

[abitbroken]

STOP TEXTING. She could not be answering your text because she is sleeping after surgery, in another class - you name it. Maybe her Grandma is sitting with her. Or she could have had oral surgery and she is looped out. tons of people called after i had a surgery and i didn't get back with any of the for days. BTW, did you even know what type of surgery this was? Until she tells you she is better, etc, I would stop with the "oh, so this is how my day was - we should grab something to eat" and be a little more concerned about the surgery. If you knew where she lived, I would have sent her flowers or I would have made her some soup and sent it over as a nice gesture.

 

Also you have to stop telling her "we should go to the library" "we should grab a bite" because you are telling her to make the plans. That is not like "I would like to have lunch/dinner with you this week when you are able. Would you like to go to Mario's Pizza Palace either Thursday or Friday night? You are vegan? Well how about the Thai restaurant?"

 

why not call her and leave a message "I know you just had surgery, and i wasn't sure what it was for or when you will be up and around, but as soon as you are feeling better, I would love to take you out to dinner." or ask if she needs anything - you could bring her the notes from class if she's missed.

 

Yes, you need to man up - your words not mine.

[Superus]

She had all her wisdom teeth pulled out. I was telling her my experience of when I had my pulled out so I related to her pain. I don't really know that much about her because I've only talked to her 4-5 times. After her surgery she came to class On Thursday. I then Realized when she said let's meet up on Thursday i dont think it was suppose to be the library. Instead it was suppose to be after class and I didn't say hi or bye!!!! Man I'm so stupid!! It made total sense as to way she never called or text.

 

 

But todAy she was mean or she's probably still going though pain. Look I had my wisdom teeth pulled out and I was still texting my friends. Maybe I should have been more sensitive. Idk

[abitbroken]

When I had my wisdom teeth pulled out - 2 were severely impacted and the other 2 were no big deal. I couldn't eat for a few days. i was miserable. and i had severe nausea. I would give her a break! I definitely think that you should ask her out directly this time. call her. but if she doesn't answer right away, give her a break if she is in pain and its hard to talk. BTW, if she wasn't going to be in class but showed up for 10 minutes at the end...she clearly went so she wouldnt miss YOU - because she figured you would make plans with her then. So, by all means, be DIRECT. ask her out. Even if its out for soup if she can't eat much. And if she says she wants to wait a few days when she can actually eat or not be in pain...that is OKAY.

[Superus]

Ill give it one more shot then. I need to work on being sympathic and emphatic. Also I guess I was use to her chasing me but I was doing things to her that I know would bother me..

 

No more txt just goin to call or see her on Tuesday.

[Natasha24]

If she asked for a pic i wouldn't have thought twice. I would have thought she probably thinks i'm attractive.. Not omg that's all she wants?!

 

Girls are much different than guys in this respect. I would never continue talking to a guy who asked me to send him a picture before we really knew each other, it's odd and a little too sexual. in the future, just be careful with this kind of thing. Instead of thinking "If she asked me, I wouldn't care", try thinking "If I was her, what would my intentions look like?"

 

 

[Superus]

Just received a txt from her at 12am saying " sorry for the late reply. I am in pain and have been resting all day. Now I'm studying for the upcoming test"

 

Ummmm.

[Jamesonn]

Yeah...she didn't acknowledge you asking her out and replied REALLY late. Seems like she's not very interested at this time. Who know...maybe she's talking to another guy right now and keeping you on the backburner. Don't ask for a pic so early lol.

 

For now I would just play it chill and wait for her to reinitiate the convo. A good way to get back in the ballgame would be to find a time to study with her (in the future) and just make her laugh + have a good time....asking her out again after she ignored it twice is recipe for disaster. Just come accross as unaffected and chill. Also, don't ignore her in class that's stupid. Smile/talk have fun.

[happpybear]

I just can't believe in 1 or 2 days she could have lost interest.. or is just thinking i'm not interested..IDK

 

she probably didn't but figured she was barking up the wrong tree because, as abitbroken wrote, you played it too cool. Your playing a game, it's called hard to get, you know that right? but you are expecting her to NOT play it back...

 

" sorry for the late reply. I am in pain and have been resting all day. Now I'm studying for the upcoming test"

 

Also, wisdom teeth removal is brutal, i remember being messed up for a few days after.

 

did you bother to ask her how she is doing? wish her well? cause things like that count for a lot. I remember a few years ago i had my wisdom teeth removed on my b-day, and the guy i liked at the time called me up to see if I was ok, and sang happy birthday to me...we started dating shortly there after, sweet things like that showed me he cared about me and my well-being and definitely won me over.

[Superus]

she probably didn't but figured she was barking up the wrong tree because, as abitbroken wrote, you played it too cool. Your playing a game, it's called hard to get, you know that right? but you are expecting her to NOT play it back...

 

 

 

Also, wisdom teeth removal is brutal, i remember being messed up for a few days after.

 

did you bother to ask her how she is doing? wish her well? cause things like that count for a lot. I remember a few years ago i had my wisdom teeth removed on my b-day, and the guy i liked at the time called me up to see if I was ok, and sang happy birthday to me...we started dating shortly there after, sweet things like that showed me he cared about me and my well-being and definitely won me over.

 

 

Yes i have been active in asking her how she's doing. when she responded back to me at 12pm i just wrote back saying "no worries! wish you a speedy recovery! @)--;--" because i had asked her how she was doing before going on about me. So i left it at that. Today is sunday and she txt me saying "superus!" i wrote "hey u! how r u feeling?" she writes better and u? hows ur weekend?" i wrote that's good. my weekend? well, it goes by way to fast! haha how's yours?"

 

Then we go on about a certain assignment that she needed help on... (this was odd. Because the assignments direction is written on the syllabus step by step. how couldn't she not understand it? she passed all advanced science courses with A's and B's and she can't understand what's written on the syllabus?)

 

Anyways i explained to her and she text back saying "Great! i understand now! i'll be in school tomorrow looking for more of those she txts again "thank u for helping me!" Not sure if that was a que for me to ask her to meet up?

 

I wrote "no problem. i'm going to be in school pretty much all day. if u want to meet up let me know

 

So she hasn't text'd back and it's been 3 hours. granted it took me 4 hours to txt her back.