I'll get jealous

[pumpkinmoon]

Hi all I was just wondering what your take on this is or what you can make of it...

 

Briefly, I have been 'seeing' someone for a few months. Firstly it started off quite casual but lately the dynamics of it all seems to have changed and he is now asking me to go for food and movies.

 

We were discussing this yesterday, trying to arrange a time to go this week. Initially he said that he can do any day apart from Tuesday, and I told him that I can do any day apart from Friday. He then asked me why I can't do Friday and finished the message with a 'tut tut'.

 

Jokingly I asked why he was being so nosey, and he said that yes, he was being nosey, that he bets it's a hot date and that I (he) will be jealous if it is a date.

 

This kinda came out of the blue to me as he has never said anything like this before.

 

Anyone have any idea of what this might mean?

[Deejmonster]

He is being nosey.. he is poking around to see if there is any competition.. its a guy thing

[pl3asehelp]

I don't think it's just a guy thing. You're dating casually. He's getting more attached and wants to know where you stand. I wouldn't date someone I cared about for very long before asking them to be exclusive. If it's really been a few months, to me this is decision time. You either make it exclusive or stop seeing each other - at least I bet that's how he sees it. Seems a waste of time to date someone for more than a couple months if they're still dating others.

[nutbrownhare]

I agree with Deejmonster; guys who I'm not involved with frequently do this to me, as well. Sometimes it's joking, sometimes it's 'true word spoken in jest' and sometimes it's testing the water. From what you say about this guy, I suspect it's the latter.

 

If you like him as more than a friend - seize the moment! Otherwise you can continue to laugh it off.

[pumpkinmoon]

It confuses me somewhat. It has indeed been long enough, I am not dating others, I don't think he is but I am not 100% of course. What i don't understand is that if it is meant to be more of a casual thing, as we are not exclusive, why would he feel the need to question or tell me that he would get jealous? Does/ could it mean that someone is actually interested in something?

 

I'm pretty sure it wasn't said in a joking fashion as he put a sad face when he said that he was being nosey and it wasn't a jokey kind of conversation.

[pl3asehelp]

It confuses me somewhat. It has indeed been long enough, I am not dating others, I don't think he is but I am not 100% of course. What i don't understand is that if it is meant to be more of a casual thing, as we are not exclusive, why would he feel the need to question or tell me that he would get jealous? Does/ could it mean that someone is actually interested in something?

 

My lord - of course! Unless you had some discussion when you met where you both said all you wanted was a casual relationship. Is it really exceptional that he'd want your dating to progress to an actual relationship instead of the casual thing all dating starts out as?

[Deejmonster]

It confuses me somewhat. It has indeed been long enough, I am not dating others, I don't think he is but I am not 100% of course. What i don't understand is that if it is meant to be more of a casual thing, as we are not exclusive, why would he feel the need to question or tell me that he would get jealous? Does/ could it mean that someone is actually interested in something?

 

I'm pretty sure it wasn't said in a joking fashion as he put a sad face when he said that he was being nosey and it wasn't a jokey kind of conversation.

 

It sounds to me that he is getting feelings for you. Maybe its time you had the talk. It would put both of your minds' at ease. Ask him if he is interested in taking this further, but for S&G's are you interested in taking this into something more serious?

[pumpkinmoon]

Thanks for the replies.

 

Is it exceptional that he would want the dating to progress? I'm not sure what you mean? We did both say in the beginning that we had had enough of replationships and were scared of getting into them. This was before we met. back then he actually told me that he was terrified of them and that he didn't think he would ever be good enough for anyone.

 

In the beginning we saw each other maybe every 3/4 weeks. Now it has become more frequent, with him asking to go see a movie. His parents now know who I am and I have met them twice, both times I was already there when they returned though so this wasn't really planned, but I did stay at his house when his parents were due to return later that particular night.

[pl3asehelp]

Thanks for the replies.

 

Is it exceptional that he would want the dating to progress? I'm not sure what you mean? We did both say in the beginning that we had had enough of replationships and were scared of getting into them. This was before we met. back then he actually told me that he was terrified of them and that he didn't think he would ever be good enough for anyone.

 

In the beginning we saw each other maybe every 3/4 weeks. Now it has become more frequent, with him asking to go see a movie. His parents now know who I am and I have met them twice, both times I was already there when they returned though so this wasn't really planned, but I did stay at his house when his parents were due to return later that particular night.

 

Well for me, the only point of dating is to have a relationship that progresses towards getting married. So, you guys are clearly coming from a different planet than I am by going into dating saying you've had enough of relationships, are scared of them, and not thinking you're good enough to be in one. Not sure why someone with that perspective would date at all. I just assume that it's the normal expected progression to start dating someone, then if things go well, ask to be exclusive, but again, that's just because my perspective is entirely different from where you guys are coming from.

[Deejmonster]

Thanks for the replies.

 

Is it exceptional that he would want the dating to progress? I'm not sure what you mean? We did both say in the beginning that we had had enough of replationships and were scared of getting into them. This was before we met. back then he actually told me that he was terrified of them and that he didn't think he would ever be good enough for anyone.

 

In the beginning we saw each other maybe every 3/4 weeks. Now it has become more frequent, with him asking to go see a movie. His parents now know who I am and I have met them twice, both times I was already there when they returned though so this wasn't really planned, but I did stay at his house when his parents were due to return later that particular night.

 

I can understand his attitude towards dating when you two first met, everyone is afraid to get hurt again and that is why we date.. we test the waters with people and see if we can fit them into our lives. He let his guard down (most likely you wont notice) and he is getting feelings for you... Its not hard to see.. he is jealous that you "might" be seeing other guys, you are seeing each other more frequently, his family knows of you, and he continues to make dates... Not only are things moving in a steady and good direction, I really think he would like to progress things. He may be holding off because you two kinda had the same outlook on dating when you first met... and if you havent really spoken of that changing, he might still think you are scared (which is ok) and this is why he is dropping hints. Im telling you... Have the talk!