PoopyBear Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 My guy and me were together for 5 months and it was an LDR so we didnt see each other very often but were in contact every day. We broke up at the weekend because prior to me he was in a long relationship and has things he wants to do, by himself, for himself. I knew he was in that state of mind when we got together but the attention, actions and words between us suggested much more. We had a fantastic weekend preceding the 'breakup', I met his best mate (who I got along well with) and we went to another friends garden party. He made me feel so loved and secure by staying close to me (I didn't know many people there) and was super affectionate towards me even around his friends. We drove home listening and singing (at the top of our voices) to a fave band. On returning to his place, we had some beers and I had a wine. He got pretty sloshed, I didn't mind, and the conversation flowed between us. We joked, laughed and talked about all sorts of things THEN somehow it all got serious. He started talking about girls from his past, how he would like to contact one on particular because she was the 'one that got away'. I told him its a little silly to try rekindle something that happened 20 yrs ago and that the feelings might not be returned. I was a little hurt he wanted to look her up at all. Somehow the conversation went tohim and I and, that's when he started to cry. We decided to stop seeing each other because of his circumstances (he wants to re-establish his friendships and put in more work with his band). I understand his passion but I don't understand why he has to be single to pursue it as the othe guys are all married with children and they manage thier band commitments. To get to the point, sorry it takes me a while! When we decided to stop seeing each other, he broke down. I asked him why he was crying and he said he was hurting because he hurt me and that he feels like he'll never feel love again. He kissed me and said, 'when another man kisses you like this, you'll know' What? I don't know what he meant, it was a 'moment' thing, I think. Then he said, 'we'll be friends forever, we'll stay in touch, I'll get fb and Skype so we can talk and see each other'. (What?? Didn't we just break up?) THEN he said, 'our hearts will beat together, lets promise whoever passes first will wait on the other so we can be together again in heaven'.Even though I knew he was drunk, my heart left my chest right then. And he was still cryin g when he said he will stay in contact with me and we will see each other again, that he has two best friends, me and the guy I'd met the night before. I just don't get it. Even if he was drunk, why would he say these things if we're breaking up? I care about him deeply, he cares about me too, and would have loved to stay around him but I know he has a journey in front of him that I'm not part of. And I have Uni next year too. It's just so sad to have a wonderful connection with him and have to walk away. I sent him a text last night but now I'm applying no contact because I want him to miss me and hope he does. I want a guy to tell me under what circumstances he would say sweet things like this and cry when breaking up with a girl. I'm pretty sure I'll see him again to maintain our friendship but not building up hopes on being 'with' him again. Although I really want it/him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 I am not a guy but I have cried at a break up - out of sadness and guilt for hurting the other person/losing the companionship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jordesse Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 Is this the same guy who cut off contact with you when you missed your period? How did you end up being back in contact with him? Seems that cutting contact with you was a prelude to the break up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
offplanet Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 "Words are cheap"! His flowery protestations of love and feelings are a cover for his guilt at leaving you. Don't be fooled! He's glad to get his freedom back, and is throwing you some crumbs to make up for that. I would feel very cynical. Let him go and don't waste any time in hoping for him to have a change of heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalsunrise Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 "Words are cheap"! His flowery protestations of love and feelings are a cover for his guilt at leaving you. Don't be fooled! He's glad to get his freedom back, and is throwing you some crumbs to make up for that. I would feel very cynical. Let him go and don't waste any time in hoping for him to have a change of heart. Agreed. If there was anything of real substance there, he wouldn't be 1-talking about another girl, the one who got away 2-wouldn't be breaking up with you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PoopyBear Posted September 25, 2012 Author Share Posted September 25, 2012 My Gfriend said the same, that his tears were of guilt for leading me on and his promises are empty. She said I should never entertain him again! The opportunity to see him again was strong and I guess I was clinging to a hope it would be ok between us but deep down I'm knew it wouldn't. I'm not too upset, more confused by his tears and the other things he said, they didn't add up to us breaking up. I just wanted to let you all know the outcome, and I'm not pregnant! Thank goodness!! I'm putting it/him out of my head now, and happy in the knowledge that I am an intelligent, balanced, creative (awesome) person and he'd be lucky if he meets someone even half as wonderful as ME! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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