I feel the need to contact him..... please help!!!

[tender heart]

With everything that's in me, I know that I shouldn't contact my ex, but I feel such a need to want to ring or write a letter, text him it's awful.... I know that it is over, and he's the one who broke my heart after a year of living together, but I can't stop this urge....

 

Everyone here is so wonderful and supportive and I have no-one else to turn to right now, I don't know if I'm strong enough..... nearly 4 weeks later and I don't feel any better.

 

How is he so strong? Why am I the opposite?

 

Please anything would really inspire or help me at this moment. To every great soul on this board, thankyou, thankyou so much.

[urs4ever88]

im in tha same situation. I love him with all my heart and i would do anything to get him back. The girl hes dating looks like a dude with tits... and not to brag or nothin... but im 5'6" 140lbs. and 36C boobs and a fairly nice [PROFANITY REMOVED BY MODERATOR]. so i dont know what is up. we also live 87 miles away but im moving back to where he is and going to that school again so if you have any suggestions lemme know please...

[jackson5045]

hello helen

 

helen and i are old friends for benefit of everyone else

 

dont contact him helen

i know that it hasnt been long and that it is so temting to call or something

but if you do you will regret it and the small amount of healing that you dont even realise you have done in the last month will be washed away

besides he is going to call you or text you soon enough about this friendship he wants

and at that time you need to tell him how badly he hurt you

and how much pain you are in and you have said it yourself that being friends will only prolong that pain and slow getting past this

 

i am sorry sweeti but i think that no contact really is the only real option

 

jack

[tender heart]

Thankyou so much, this is keeping me from calling him or sending a text message!!!

[confuzzled1607307141]

I come from a very similar situation where I had been with my ex for 3 1/2 years, and for a year of that time we lived together too. He just left me out of the blue, with no explanation as to whether it involved another woman, or something else. Talk about anxiety...man it is almost obsessive (which is NOT COOL). I feel like my world has been destroyed, my A average GPA has sunk to a D range this term. All I can think about is him, and all that will make me feel better would be to talk to him. But you know what? Jack was right! What is meant to be, in time, will be. What isnt, well (cliche I know) simply wont. I want to hear his voice for my comfort, but something inside me knows that will only degrade me in the long run. I dont want him to think that his world revolves around me...he does not deserve what I can give...and it sounds like your man does not deserve what you have to offer either. Wait at least 6 months, and if you still feel like calling him then do it then. Tell him that you wanted real time to heal...that would be honest, and that would really allow you both to figure out what it is you really want (what I like to call the simple "six month mind mush." Cheers and good luck!

[Rainy]

You are doing so well, not been in contact for 4 weeks, it is so hard to try and stop yourself from doing so, but keep going, it will get easier,

 

I also agree with Jackson, that no contact is the best option, i know at the moment you are feeling really really bad but if you see him or get incontact with him it will make you feel even worse, hearing his voice or if he doesnt return your call ot texts, that will make you go out your head,

 

You may not believe this but you are on the path to recovery, you may not know it and feel it but in time you WILL feel better!!

 

take care

[zveric]

What everyone else said. No contacting him for now. I have done it and it is bad news babe. Particularly in your case, since he has already acted pretty low. No reason to assume he'll act different again.

 

It is astonishing how empty we can feel from losing someone we love.

This gives me hope, believe it or not.

This emptyness overpowers all our baser drives. It deactivates our sex drive, our desire for food, and all material possessions. Nothing can fill this void, and this to me is evidence that we were born, created, evolved, to love, above all else, and from a spiritual, evolutionary, and biological perspective, this makes perfect sense to me. It is this that makes us human.

 

Our capacity for love is built into every cell of our body. We will love again as surely as we breath air in and out. It is the nature of us.

But there is no need to waste it on those who no longer return it.

 

Stay strong.

[zveric]

LinZ

 

I feel for you girl. I think a lot of older people forget how intensly the young feel these emotions, and how it is no less real that than the loves and heartbreaks that come later.

 

It sounds like in spite of being rejected, you still have really good self esteem, and a really good body image. Good for you. Most young people never appreciate their beauty until years later.

 

My advice is to try and move on when you are ready, but not date or hook up with a guy unless you really like him, and you think he really likes you. It is never too early to demand the best and most respectful treatment from men.