PaperSt1537 Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 It's been 16 days since my girlfriend of two-and-a-half years left me. I've posted my break up story here and covered many aspects of the grieving process. I contacted her only once since the break up and it was strictly a business email concerning our ongoing Family Plan for our cell phones (in my name). Nothing else was discussed even though she asked me in one sentence how I was doing. I did not reply. Otherwise I find myself becoming increasingly irate over the fact that she doesn't try to contact me. No texts, e-mails, calls, nothing. This only serves to further solidify my belief that she doesn't care one iota about me now and I consider myself dead to her. It's a mixture of depression and anger at this point, especially when I find myself too frequently checking her Facebook page to see what she's doing, knowing that any day now I'm going to see something that significantly sets back the process of moving on. The Facebook "stalking" aside, I'm doing what I'm supposed to do. I'm not hounding her, I'm not sending her love letters, I'm respecting her desire to wipe my existence from her world. The problem is, I don't want to have access to her Facebook anymore, I don't want to see her comments on our mutual friend's pages, I don't want to see anything until I'm at the point where if I do see that she's with someone esle, I'll be truly okay with it and be happy for her. I just don't know how to do this without being petty and perceived as weak or a jerk by the rest of the world. If I unfriend all these people, won't it seem that way? Should I contact her and/or her friends and tell them I'm removing them because I need time to move on or should I just delete Facebook altogether? This whole thing seems silly because it is "just Facebook" but when I have it on my phone, my computer, etc. it's so easy to just take a glance at her page, each time terrified I'll see her with a new boyfriend or hear about some new amazing thing she's doing with her life now that I'm no longer in it whatsoever. Link to comment
markie6 Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 Don't worry about what the mutuals think at a time like this , all your focus should be on you and your healing. I de-activated for nearly 8 months, have 70+ mutual friends , went back this week, lost a few, but most people have been cool. The ex will remain blocked and most people will understand, anybody who doesn't shouldn't be in my friends list anyway job done , look after number 1 Link to comment
ybaujin Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 How many times did u try to take her back Link to comment
PaperSt1537 Posted September 20, 2012 Author Share Posted September 20, 2012 I want to be strong and mature about this whole thing, and to be honest with myself about the reasons I want to sever all potential contact. Of course, a part of me wants to hang on to that impossible chance that in time my ex and I could somehow rekindle what was lost for her, but I know any attempts at contact by me will forever irradicate that chance. Then there's the other part, the enraged part that can't believe after all we've been through and all I've done for her that she could be this cold and uncaring. Knowing that I'm in agony and not reaching out in any way. Living a carefree life, oblivious to anything and everything about me. I have to wonder if she will even care if I block her. If she will even notice. I say "mutual friends" but those people have all chosen their side and it's hers. Maybe none of them will care or notice either. Maybe it will be a relief to them all to know I'm gone forever, in every sense of the word but literally. Link to comment
camus154 Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 Dude, you need to look at the bigger picture here. Right now you're just going off of emotions. She's not contacting you right now because the two of you are no longer together--why would she contact you? Yes, it sucks, but it's really a logical consequence from what happened. There's no need to grow even angrier because she isn't reaching out after the break up. That doesn't make her cold and uncaring, it makes her an ex. And all this stuff about maybe no one will care if you're gone forever....really, man? It's Facebook. Keep some perspective. Life will go on if you block the people that remind you of her. This is what you do to allow yourself to heal and move on. Link to comment
PaperSt1537 Posted September 20, 2012 Author Share Posted September 20, 2012 How many times did u try to take her back I tried to convince her we could work things out on the day we broke up. Lots of things were said, lots of bargaining and attempted negotiating by me, but she stayed firm and told me it was definitely over. Long story short, she said she loved me, I'm wonderful, she's selfish and stupid for leaving me (her words) but she's not happy. Since then, I've done nothing. Link to comment
siegfri333 Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 You can block someone on facebook without unfriending anyone. Everything related to them will disappear from your facebook. Don't embarrass yourself needlessly. Link to comment
Liraele Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 Use that block feature. Filter her emails, take her number out of your phone. You can just disappear without being the "bad guy" in your case, it sounds like. It's not like she's trying to talk and you're ignoring her. Link to comment
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