I wrote a letter to my ex...

[leftme]

Just thought I'd share - but I wouldn't advise if you're still emotional.

 

I did this 3 weeks ago (2 weeks after the break-up) and I contrary to a lot of opinion on here feel great for doing it - I haven't begged at all since day 1.

 

I suppose it's maybe due to my feelings of wanting her back but KNOWING that it can't happen anytime soon and being very objective about things in general.

 

My letter was hand written, 1 side of A4 and the jist was:

 

Point 1: There's no hard feelings. Things were clearly breaking down and we were too young to settle down.

Point 2: A brief summary of my realisations (social dependency) co-dependency.

Point 3: That this is an opprtunity for me to re-find myself - stated clearly it was for my own benefit not hers.

Point 4: We shared a great 4 years together and I loved her enough to willingly walk away and let her find happiness.

Point 5: All the best for the future and good luck with the new job she was about to get.

 

I don't feel the need to talk to her about the relationship anymore. There's logistics we could do with talking about but it released a lot of my stress.

 

I believe she now knows I'm not devestated, I'm moving on and that I am approachable should she choose to.

 

I myself will not attempt to speak to her again, unless we bump into eachother, until at least next summer or beyond and the objective will not be to win her back - this rule alone gives me peace of mind.

[dasilver]

Good for you....

 

I always feel that folks should say everything that they need to say when saying goodbye to a relationship.

 

Unless the person was verbally,emotionally and physically abusive. I don't believe in vanishing NC's.

 

If telling someone what's on your mind (albeit in a gentle and none threatening manner) is what will help you heal and move on... then do so.

 

Comminication is a healer and...

 

Love is not cut and dry.