is true love unconditional.

[quazit]

This worries me a bit my girlfriends love for me seems to depend on my love for her.

 

isnt real love supposed to mean you love the person not thier love for you?

 

She sent me an email asking why i handt written to her that day and listed off a bunch of possible reasons #4 being "you dont love me anymore." and she gave a response to each one and her response to #4 was "well then i hate you too."

 

what am i supposed to think about this?

[YNP8112]

girls can be very insecure. Maybe she is afraid that you are falling out of love with her.

[PAdreamer]

I have to say that her age has a lot to do with it. I'm assuming she's about your age, and both girls and boys at that age can take a simple situation and make it completely irrational. Of course that happens with adults too. But yes, true love should be unconditional.

[quazit]

she is kind of afraid of that. but for me even if she fell out of love with me i would still love her. my love for her is no matter what. she oculd fly at me with a knife and iw oudl still love her. i would be hurt and scared but i would still love her

[OldGuy]

I think as the others have said she is just insecure in the relationship.

 

She is afraid you don't really love her, and she needs someplace to hide if that is true. It takes a lot of energy to hate someone, much more than to love someone, but it can be something to hide behind if you are hurt.

 

You should just ignore #4 on the list. Call tell her you care and see how it goes from there.

[PAdreamer]

If you really care for her that much, the best thing you can do (and only do this if you're willing to be TOTALLY selfless) isto completely focus on her feelings and helping her to feel secure until she's at a place where the fears aren't controlling her as much. If you keep loving her and supporting her even when she goes wacko on you, it will help prove to her that she doesn't need to be afraid.

[justagirl20f]

There were times at the beginning I'd be unsure of my relationship with my BF... I'd pull silly things like that or tell him things like I feel so vulnerable so I'm going to try and fall out of love with him, yada, yada, yada...

 

His response was to smile, sometimes he would roll his eyes, give me a kiss on my forehead, hug me tight and ignore it. In your case, I'd send her back an e-mail saying "oh of course I still love you, don't be silly. But that doesn't mean I don't have other things to do too."

 

Basically, if she loves you, she'll love you no matter what she tells you. I know I couldn't have fallen out of love with my BF for all the money in the world, no matter what I tried to make him believe in my efforts to protect myself.

 

Now we're doing well. I feel comfortable with the relationship and him. And I think because of that I'm not nearly the pain in the butt I was at the start.

 

Good luck and take care!