[b]24 y/o - Dateless & Directionless[/b]

[All_alone]

Well Here Goes.....

 

I'm 24 year old guy and still a virgin. Worse yet I'm haven't been on a date before . Most people think it's kind of strange I'm still a virgin but I'd rather be embarrassed for a few seconds or so and make sure that the one I was to do it with would be special and actually mean something. A lot of times I think people use sex for sex's sake...and forget what i believe it symbolises.....two people sharing an intimate experience and show how much you really care about the other person.

 

I'm not Religious, gay or even weird(a least I don't think so)

 

I suppose the problem started in high school. Everyone meets people at high school and goes out and stuff. However I got sick early on in high school and had to complete most of my schooling from home. With only the odd class here and there actually attending a proper school. This was a double edge sword... most of my friends from primary school went to different schools and we just went our separate ways(grew apart as one does during teenage years). However I was not at school enough to meet anyone much...spending only 40 minutes in a class perhaps only 3 times a week or less makes it difficult to get to know people. It also doesn't help that i'm kinda shy and find it difficult around new and un-familiar people.

 

I made a couple of friends(guys) after high school when I went to tafe. We see each other now and then and stay in contact by phone most weeks. We don't socialise on weekends - cause two reasons, they both are into the night club scene and will get absolutely plastered. So i don't see that as much fun. And secondly they live two hours or so away my public transport.

 

When it comes to girls i'm not very good with them. Looking back on things i have not been all that attracted to to many, only a handful. I am absolutely hopeless picking up there signals and apparently i'm kind obvious of my feelings without even saying anything. I also have a habit of not saying anything/asking them out. There has only been one girl i have really liked. I met her doing some volunteer work. I have never felt this way about a girl before...i infact scared myself. Unfortunately she has a boyfriend and while i thought initially she may have had feeling for me it would appear now that i was wrong. As she seems to be avoiding going to lunch with me. We had lunch once together. But there are plenty of other reason why we wouldn't work anyways...she is Sri Lankan and her parents pretty strict so i don't think it would have worked even if she did like me which i doubt.

 

Although i hate feeling the way i feel right now, guttered/depressed, lonely, it has kinda given me a wake up call. I want a girl friend, I want to get married one day, I want to have a social life. I realise that while my illness/schooling played a part in where i am now, i also contributed to this debacle that i call my life. And before i contemplate having a girl friend(mind you i wouldn't know where to start looking). I Realise that i must first concentrate on improving my life first. Making sure i'm happy with where i am in life. Because i have to admit i'm not. I seem to be stagnate and directionless this last year. I don't really have a job, i don't know what i want to do job wise either. But until i sort myself out i cannot expext anyone to come into my life. The problem i suppose is where does one start? I don't have a clue. Then once i have sorted myself out how do i go about finding a girl friend.

 

For all those people that read the entire lot(well done you get brownie point from me) - cause i don't know if i would have read all that crap

My apologies however - i didn't intent it to be soooooo long.

 

For those that didn't want to read the lot

 

To Summaries

 

How does one go about change there life for the better?

How does one even find out what there interested in work/hobbies wise?

How/Where to meet single women(Taking into account i'm not into night clubs and don't drink etc)?

 

I would welcome any comments anyone has - assuming they read it. If not i suppose it was good to get off my chest!

 

Thanks

 

Stewart

[SwingFox]

As far as my advice is concerned I would want to suggest you to find a job first, since that generates income to do more than just sitting home. You'll actually be able to go out and have money to do fun things. I already hear you asking: what job? If you don't really know what you would like to do, get tested. Here we have tests that help you determine what you like to do. A second option is that you go to a job agency that offers temporarily jobs, so you can try a few jobs here and there and see how you like that. Everything of course also depends on what your qualifications are. It's a little bit funny to start as a car mechanic, if you really don't know a thing of cars, other than that they can look awesome.

 

As for meeting young women. That might be a little easier than you think. Go grocery shopping for example. May be you find a nice lady that smiles at you at the cash register. I'd say: smile back! Say 'hi'! Ask her: "How you're doing?" That will bring you some confidence. You need more conversational tips to add to your 'armory'?

[brandos lovechild]

hiya stewart. straight off tha bat, swingfox is right saying a job you should make your priority. this in itself will improve your interaction with women, and improve your social life immeasurably. i understand you are feeling pretty despondent at this time in your life, but there is light at the end of the tunnel ! im sure you wont have any problems makin friends, you have made them in the past..so your personality is not a turn off. In terms of girls, try not to be extra nice to them in an attempt 2 make them like you romantically..just be yourself, and when all is said and done..just do what feels comfortable ya know. good luck bro 8)

[Icarus]

Its a Good thing to be a virgin trust me. I am not a superstar playa nor can I say I'm a stallion but I've had my fair share of Poom poom to know that I should've waited.

 

I am also 24 years old and am still involved with my first love, we broke up about 9 months ago but we still see each other regularly. Even with her I wished I'd have waited to have sex until we were married because after awhile sex became unsatisfying to the point where I was never satisfied and always wanted it like a drug. The fear of catching an STD-which I've luckily never had but thought I did- is a killer all by itself and is not worth the pleasure,trust me.

 

Your situation isn't all that bad, likewise men like Virgins, women appreciate a virgins innocence as well especially when they find out your not just lying to them to get laid. I was a virgin once too and let me tell you I felt the pressure. Now that I'm 24 I realize I could've waited for the right woman to come along and I would have never had to suffer through the lies that come along with that whole life.

 

 

My advice would be to also Get a JOB and save up some money to buy yourself some nice Clothes and get a haircut,As well as going to the gym and playing sports, start taking mid afternoon strolls and deliberately say hi to people (men and women) in your age group and just have conversations about life shoot the breeze with everyone and try to meet new people through everyone you meet.

 

 

the worst thing you could do is just stay home and cry about how bad your life is,you've gotta get up and do something about it.