whats the next step?

[jimmyc]

It's been 3 months since my ex and I broke up (i was the dumpee) we've had periods of NC and LC I've been on about 3 dates which never went anywhere and no one who I've really had my eye on...

 

Last week I came over to her house to talk to her about how I want things to work out and tell her how I'm really thinking, now I know I shouldn't of but from what I've heard its worked for other people I know so I thought why not give it a shot.. throughout those 3 months I was always giving her mixed signals and thought it was time to just tell her what's really on my mind just to get it off my shoulders and leave the ball in her court..

 

She told me that I have as good as chance as anyone and needs time to figure out what she wants so I thought I'd leave her alone for a while but I get daily msg's from her we normally have a good laugh she organised for us to go shopping for the day so I went with her we had the best time lot's of laughs and I even went back to hers after to watch some T.V..

 

My question is now...what do I do? do I stop contacting her for a while? or continue on doing what were doing until she feels she's ready?

 

thanks for any input =)

[Mizz]

She knows how you feel, and if she says she needs time to figure it out, then it’d be something she needs to figure out in her own time, alone.

Hanging out or talking frequently with her is just going to confuse you more. Even if being around her is happier/good or seems promising.

 

I'm in a bit of a similar situation:

 

 

 

And I can tell you it's very confusing. Mixed signals, so much uncertainty. Because they say one thing like they need to figure things out but yet still want to talk/see you... and it's not even like seeing them is bad, it can actually be quite fun/nice. But it's seriously just so confusing to have to deal with. Even if I am just trying to also see what's best to do in my own situation as well.

 

But ultimately you have to consider what YOU want. You want to be with her? But she's not being clear if she wants to be with you and needs time to figure herself out.

 

You've let her know how you feel, you could keep it limited contact in the mean time til she figures things out. Or if her mixed signals and indecisiveness ever become too painful or overwhelming for you then you could always also just flat out tell her that she should contact you only if it's about the relationship.

 

In the mean time, with whatever you choose (either LC or telling her to only contact you if she's made up her mind), try not to wait around for her though. Go out and enjoy doing the things you like

 

But either way I really do hope things go well for you

[ToF]

I'd pay attention to her saying that you have "just as good a chance as anyone". While that's not an outright rejection, it's very vague and would make me uncomfortable, were I in your position.

 

My advice: Don't initiate contact. She knows exactly what you want, and at this point there's really nothing you can say to persuade her further. She's asked for space, so I think the best course is to respect her request. Keep yourself busy and do not think about this too much, because you have no control over her feelings. Plus if you do it this way, you'll get the added bonus (along with helping you heal) of not being so available to her. You need to give her an opportunity to miss you.

 

Good luck.

[jimmyc]

thanks very much guys I think thats the best advice and somthing I'll defiantly do! I think I've done all I can on my behalf without looking too needy

[angrythoughts]

I would act as nothing and continue doing what you're doing now. But don't wait forever. If you feel like you guys are going nowhere then cut her off.

[Streetbob]

She told me that I have as good as chance as anyone and needs time to figure out what she wants so I thought I'd leave her alone for a while but I get daily msg's from her we normally have a good laugh she organised for us to go shopping for the day so I went with her we had the best time lot's of laughs and I even went back to hers after to watch some T.V..

 

She hasn't ruled you out but hasn't ruled you in either. How do you feel about that?

 

For me that we be the signal to forget about her for now. Move on and create a new life for yourself.

Somewhere along the line she may be certain about wanting you. Until that day comes - move on.

 

Unfortunately when she makes her mind up - you might not be interested. That's life.

 

Good luck SB