a bit of outside advice please

[knockoff]

hey ENA

 

its been along time since i posted , but i need some advice please. a while back my ex broke up with me , we share a child together it was a nasty break up from both sides , anyway over a peroid of time we began to get on better , i suppose the bad/hurt feelings went away sort of thing.

 

anyway we have an arrangement how we share the custody of our daughter , of which was set up by her to suit her working needs , now the funny thing is after being single for nearly 19 months , iv met somebody to which i really like & i feel it could well be my next relationship , but its still early days yet , were still dating as such.

 

ever since iv started seeing somebody else my ex has been super nice to me , texting me over silly things everyday , but recently aswell she has been trying to change the days of our arrangement , to which i have stood my ground , because the reasoning behind it was really petty stuff. bear in mind my ex knows nothing of my new date as such, neither does my daughter.

 

now my question is the woman im dating wants to attend my friends wedding on saturday to which i will be taking my little girl , she said it would be nice to meet her in person as she has only seen her in pictures & now that were sort of taking things a little more serious.

 

how do i introduce this new women to my daughter , without upsetting her & at the same time i know my ex GF isnt going to be happy about her , i just dont know how to handle the situation , i just want to keep the peace

 

thanks

 

knockoff

[camus154]

Are you ready for her to meet your daughter? Putting aside how anyone else but YOU feels about it.

 

If no, then problem solved. She's not invited to the wedding, sorry, not time yet.

 

Otherwise forget about your ex girlfriend being upset over it. Too bad. Worry about your daughter. I don't know how old she is, so I can't really advise how to go about breaking it to her. But in general I think when you treat kids with respect, they generally handle things better than if you try to talk down to them over things.

[becomingkate]

I think that it's fine to introduce a date as a "friend."

 

I was a single mom for awhile and have known a lot of single parents! As long as everyone is comfortable with the idea and as long as you're aware of some of the pitfalls (jealousy from the ex and/or your daughter)

 

It takes a lot of patience and kindness to deal with the jealousy of a little girl. After a break-up, lots of children act out towards the parent's date (a friend of mine broke up with a guy because his 9 year old daughter deliberately caused problems and he wouldn't step in to teach her boundaries)

 

Also, I would only introduce her if you're sure the relationship is going to move forward.