Son is coming home on leave to get married

[CaraMaria]

My son will be stateside from Iraq next month, he is getting married down the road but his fiancee says she doesn't want me or his dad or sister at the wedding, because it is unfair that her parents cannot come and watch it. She didn't tell me this, my son just told me this today and I have been working my fingers to the bone making her a wedding dress at the request of both of them. I haven't seen my him for a year now, and he will only have one day here and then they will go on their honeymoon near her family in pennsyvlaina and I won't see him again for another year. I haven't told either of them how I feel and how much this hurts me, as I don't know if he will make it out of that country alive, that is up to God, but I want to see my son get married, and I am so upset I can't stop crying. I have never meant this girl hes marrying, hes been talking to her on the web for a year and they meant for a couple of days last year, but she wouldnt tell me this herself, she had my son tell me this. My husband told me stop making the dress. I don't know if I should do that I don't want to seem to vengeful I just want to see him get married , if I say something I am afraid she will not let him come home, Please help someone!

[avman]

I think it is completely unreasonable of your future daughter in law to restrict you from the wedding because her parents cannot come. Why can't they come?

 

And did you say you've never met this girl??? There are huge alarm bells going off in my head right now.

 

Well ultimately its up to your son to figure out what he wants and he's the one who will have to stand up to her. However, that does not mean you have to just sit and take it either. I wouldn't keep making the dress for her after an insult like that. Its completely ridiculous.

 

See if some more dialog can resolve this. Maybe there's a way to compromise and meet in the middle.

 

And definitely tell your son how you feel about this. Its the only way for him to know what his future wife has done to his mother.

[Michael2]

Ditto what Avman said!

[jessijess]

That is completely wrong for her to do that to you. If you & yor family aren't allowed to attend the wedding, then why are they having it by your home? Why can't her family come to the wedding? I think this girl sounds immature & in considerate.

You need to talk to your son & tell him how you feel. Let him know how hurt you are by this. Basically just tell him exactly what you told all of us.

Good luck with everything

[QBwannaB]

I also agree with all the responses posted so far. Your son's fiancee is being unreasonable, and you shouldn't tolerate this kind of behavior. However, I'd like to add something... Young people in love act irrationally and impulsively. It sounds like this is the case with your son, especially with the circumstances of his relationship and working abroad. You should act, but do so tactfully. If he thinks you're making him choose sides, he may push you away.

 

I hope things turn out well for you and your family.