What is my problem?

[bigghigg]

Ok, I dont know where else to turn but I need some advice Im so confused about my relationship.

 

I love my girlfriend and I want nothing more than to be with her, but we have bit of an issue. Let me start off by saying we had a rocky start to our relationship because of an old flame that she still has feelings for, and I am aware and she has admitted that even though she loves me if he were to ask her to be with him she didnt know if she could turn him down, becasue she feels like she needs another chance (even though the guy was a real jerk and doesn't care about her at all and has even admitted it to her, I believe she just thinks with another chance she could change him).

 

But after he dissappeared from the picture she and I have been doing pretty well with everything except for the fact that I am bothered by her ex-boyfriend that she is still friends with. She tells me she doesn't want him, and I believe her I am just bothered by his constant calling, coming around, text messaging. I know he wants to be her boyfriend again, and he has a habit of talking sexually to her (and she just says hes just joking around) that bothers me and I don't know if I am having issues with him, or if its because of the previously mentioned guy who i believe she might leave me for if the opportunity arises, can anyone out there please offer me some kind of advice, I am a very patient and understanding guy but I don't know how much more I can take, thanks for reading this.

[hazlcha]

Bit of a dilemma. On the one hand, if she's with you, she shouldn't be talking "sexually" to some other guy, don't you think? That's a little bit inconsiderate. And saying that she might leave if some other guy (I assume that it's different than 'garbage mouth') were to call her name is also not cool. I'd think about that a little.

 

On the other hand, I think most girls get turned off by jealousy. They may even test a little, flirt w/ppl to see if their man will get too green. If he does, they're out of there.

 

It may be a bit risky, but maybe you could subtly let her know that you're ready to walk if she keeps up playing with your emotions. If she does, you may want to walk anyway - what kind of bad relationship could that be! Odds are she won't, though, and things will get better.

 

You know, now she's with you, so you can take it as a compliment that some OTHER guy or guys are interested in YOUR girl. They're just confirmin your good taste and the fact that you've got the girl.

 

So don't become a monster, but don't become jelly either. Just focus on wooing her, and be real secure about her other fan club. They'll disappear because your the real man here.

 

Just some thoughts.

[Vanilla]

i think your girlfriend is being a disrespectful by allowing her ex to talk sexual to her. That's just not right, NO ONE should mess around like that while in a relationship, its completely and utterly disrespectful to the other person. I would like to know how she would feel if your ex girlfriend kept calling yuo up, textmessaging you and talking dirty to you "as a joke". I say you tell her how much it bothers you and that'll be enough to show you how much she loves you! If she can understand why its a bad situation for you then good for you guys, but if she thinks its normal behavior and that it shouldn't bother you, maybe she needs to grow up a little and realize what the meaning of a relationship is (RESPECT! among other things) Good luck with all t his keep us posted

[mahlina]

Honestly, from a girl's perspective, I truly don't think that your gf still wants to be with him. If she truly wanted to get back with him, then she would've left your relationship in a heart beat. When it comes to love, I don't think that women can stick around with someone who they have 'lukewarm' feelings for. In other words, I see that she's more in love with you than she is with him. Why? Because she's still with you, despite all of the numerous times her ex contacts her.

 

If she truly wanted to be with him, then he'd easily sway her. Obviously, her feelings for him aren't strong enough. Maybe she 'lost' those feelings for him. I truly don't think that you don't have anything to worry about. Their sexual talk could just be an inside joke that they share. Of course, it's not acceptable. They both should realize it.

[OceanEyes]

I agree with Mahlina completely. If your girlfriend really wanted to be with this other guy, she'd leave you or you would, at the very least, really notice some big changes in her. If she really still loved the other guy, she wouldn't need a reason to leave you and start seeing him again - she would just do it. Women will act on strong feelings from their heart in most cases.