Help!!

[MattTheStudent]

So yeah my girlfriend and I broke up a couple of weeks ago and we haven't talked at all. The relationship ended in a fight that got physical on both of our parts, but not hitting- I grabbed her and she clawed my face; I know I shouldn't have touched her and I take responsibility. My brother and asked him to relay to me that she doesn't want me to contact her in any way. We had been together for two years and things had been getting worse lately- she had been on my case alot and I wasn't very happy, but I thought that things would work out. This fight really opened my eyes and I haven't called her at all. I emailed her twice BC her grandma was in the hospital and I just wanted to offer my support. She basically said thanks I'm fine. So yeah now I just hurt inside but at the same time it's very reassuring to know that I can take care of myself, which I have been- I've been going out alot and making new friends and trying hard to make me feel good about myself. Everyone I know thinks I'm a great guy and loves me, and I get hit on alot, but I have self-esteem problems, and when my ex was harsh on me it really affected me negatively. I was no angel, but I guess I thought that things would work out. I had asked her if we could go back to couples therapy(she walked out a few months ago and left me stranded there) and she always said no, and I urged her to go back to her therapist and she said no. Now we don't talk anymore and she doesn't want me to call her and she's been doing things like taking me on and off of her IM buddy list, so that sometimes I see her online and sometimes not. We haven't talked on IM, but I feel like she's messing with me. We have no common threads(we live in towns miles apart, I go to a different college, no common friends nearby(we have mutual friends but they live in different states), so that's not an issue but I just feel really sad alot of the time. To be honest, before we broke up, I was unhappy for a very long time, I felt that she wasn't attracted to me anymore, she's been pretty depressed for awhile, and alot of girls I know really like me and I would never ever cheat on her but I wondered what it would be like to be broken up. I guess I just wondered, I didn't want it to really happen, and now it has and I feel sad and kind of alone. What I miss most is not having someone to hold hands with, share my travels with, be intimate with(not just have sex with). It hurts me that she doesn't want to talk to me at all, but in my mind I know its better for both of us. I haven't really spent much time on my own since we've been together- we've talked like pretty much everyday for the past two years, and slept apart maybe 18 days total this past year. Anyway I am just feeling alone and back and forth on what I should do, and how I should feel about her. She's been pretty harsh to me for awhile, but she didn't used to be, and I guess I've been waiting for her to go back to the way she used to be. Can anyone help me with some advice or support? I just really need someone to say, "Yeah I went through something similar," and tell me about their experience- I need as much advice and insight as possible.

[meeso]

ive been in a very similar situation before..things got really physical from his side when we got into fights...but i never let go of him...even though we had a lot of problems and we were quiet unhappy in the end of our year and a half relationship...i loved him very much i still do and i find it very hard to get over him but to tell u the truth whenever i used to think he would be off with another girl i would feel like killin myself...so dont do that for a while unless u really want her to know ur over her....

listen i will tell u most of the advice others told me...they told me to move on and try and do things that dont remind me of him it worked for a while but the memory of him just came bcak every night.... u wont forget that easily and things might work out with u guys just give it time and give her space but not too much space if u want her back...i gave him space and then 5 weeks later we got back together but then u know things were better for a while and then we just decied to let go...

this is my advice for u....just take some time off for a while DONT MESS with anyone else if u really want her back cuz then she will keep using that against u...

good luck