need to ask a friend out

[candianeh2000]

Hey, for those of you who have not read my previous posts. For the past 5 months or so, I have had a serious crush on my best friend. I was unable to make any sort of move on this crush until the past month because of geographic distance. Now were are close and I would like to do something.

 

Basically, I have decided I have to ask her out SOON. I know people here have suggested that I be patient and come up with better ways to tell her than just plain saying it, but quite honestly, I can't take the stress of not knowing any longer.

 

So here is what happened today. My plan was today to you know sort of get close to asking her out without asking her out (do something like hold her hand). So for the entire time we were hanging out, I repeatedly did things like put my arm around her, one time I even reached out an held her hand. Frankly, her reaction was kind of difficult to read. She didn't back away from the contact at all, and she at least seemed a little "touched" (no pun intended) by it, saying things like "awww" whenever I would do stuff like rest my head on her shoulder, or put my arm around her. Like I did many things that you know would sort of hint at the fact that I like her.

 

I figure there are three possibilities. It should be noted this girl is REALLY shy (she has never had a boyfriend before, I dont think she has ever had a guy seriously interested in her before, and I know that she never has been close friends with a guy before me). Anyway:

 

1)She suspects/knows I likes her, but doesn't reciprocate the feelings---While I can imagine her not wanting to confront me about this, I still think if this were the case she should at least hint a little more at that, like move away from me when I'm all over her. 2)She suspects I like her and reciprocates the feelings just is too shy to sort of admit it (or also maybe has too low self esteem to actually believe I like her)--This possibility is obviously the one I would hope for, but I'm not sure how likely it is.

 

3)She is totally clueless that I like her--while this would normally seem hard to believe given how forward I have been, I actually feel like this is the most likely of the three---the best explanation is that I am basically in the friendzone--and even if she once had any feelings for me (which I am convinced she USED to have for sure), she has accepted that I (to her belief) don't reciprocate.

 

Frankly, I am sick of trying to figure out which one of the three it is. I want to ask her out, and I believe if I do it the right way, I can indeed get a yes. Like we really are great friends. We spend tons of time with each other both on the phone, instant messanger, and whenever we can in person. I am 99% sure that she once was attracted to me at least. Plus, she probably has some curiosity as to what having a boyfriend is like (I have had one girlfriend previously). All these things combined make me feel like you know if I ask in a way that is proper, it actually WOULD make a difference as to what she say. The only bad answer I think I would get is, "well I dont want to risk our friendship"

 

So I guess the real question is, how can I go about telling her this which would maximize my chances of success, keeping in mind that I would like to do this as soon as possible. One thing I was thinking was something along the lines of, "I have never been so close to a girl, I feel like we can be even closer".....But I dont know, maybe there is better. Maybe the way to do it is tell her how much her friendship means to me, and just put it quite frankly, that I want to spend more time with her.

 

Any comments or suggestions as to my situation? I am sure that many of you will think that it is not wise for me to go ahead and ask her out immediately, but I need to do this. Really my question is HOW to do this, not whether to do it.

 

THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

 

*feeling quite lonely*

[The1]

ask her outon a date. its very simple. either you do or you dont.good luck and godspeed.

[candianeh2000]

Sure, I am going to ask her out on a date. I convinced myself to do that. My real question is does anyone have any advice as to HOW to do this? I never have been in this type of situation before where I have had a crush on someone for a period of time and actually decided to ask them out.

 

I just don't want to freak her out. Any advice on what to say?

[denise_14]

go ahead, tell her how you feel but also stress out that you wouldn't want to destroy your friendship either and that you respect whatever her decision will be. you must at least inform her of this feeling that you've kept for a long time. goodluck to you and i hope to hear from you soon!