Lucy3 Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 About 20 mins ago I sent a guy a message online that I thought looked nice and had a cool profile. I ended the message with asking if he's upto anything exciting this weekend. He replied saying 'I was hoping to meet you this weekend ;-) x' ....... This is literally his first reply back to me, now I understand some guys don't like constant messaging back and forth without actually meeting but this seems so soon? We have barely chatted, He's not asked any questions back to me in his reply either. What should I reply?? Should I just leave it? Arghh he's just popped up on the chat...let's see what he's got to say.... Link to comment
cherryx Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 Don't do it!! Why would a guy meet up with you if he has no clue about you?! He only has one intention and it can also be dangerous! Get to know someone first, make sure you like their personality, interests and you know about their life, and the same goes for them! Link to comment
BrianH46 Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 Don't do it!! Why would a guy meet up with you if he has no clue about you?! He only has one intention and it can also be dangerous! Get to know someone first, make sure you like their personality, interests and you know about their life, and the same goes for them! Kinda like meeting a random girl, asking for her number, and then asking her out on a date. I usually know nothing about her other then her name. Link to comment
sunshineband Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 Sounds like he's after one thing and one thing only ... but could just be that he's socially slightly awkward or has a fantastically dry sense of humour. Hope the chat's going well! Link to comment
Lucy3 Posted June 28, 2012 Author Share Posted June 28, 2012 It's so hard to know with people online what they are really like. We are just chatting now, he asked to meet up tomrrow night but I said I was away for the weekend, he's now asked if we can meet on Tuesday. I will see how much he is interested in chatting between tuesday and now and decide if i should go on the date or not? Link to comment
soybeans Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 It's so hard to know with people online what they are really like. We are just chatting now, he asked to meet up tomrrow night but I said I was away for the weekend, he's now asked if we can meet on Tuesday. I will see how much he is interested in chatting between tuesday and now and decide if i should go on the date or not? It depends on what you are ultimately looking for and your comfort level with meeting. Usually going with your intuition is the best route. For me, personally, I like to exchange a few messages before meeting just to get a somewhat good idea of their personality. Try to extend the conversation more and take it from there. There is no rush to meet. Link to comment
camus154 Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 Personally I applaud his response. It shows a set of cajones that haven't been seen since Ernest Hemmingway died. You all make it sound like you're signing some 10 year contract. The whole point of online dating is to...you know...date. Why not take him up on the offer, make sure it's somewhere public, and see what happens? The very worst that can happen is you save yourself all the fluff time trying to "get to know" someone through messages. Link to comment
soybeans Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 Personally I applaud his response. It shows a set of cajones that haven't been seen since Ernest Hemmingway died. You all make it sound like you're signing some contract for 5 years. The whole point of online dating is to...you know...date. Why not take him up on the offer, make sure it's somewhere public, and see what happens? The very worst that can happen is you save yourself all the fluff time trying to "get to know" someone through messages. For me, I have a busy schedule and I can be somewhat selective with who I go out with. I don't want to waste time writing back and forth, but I don't want to just jump into meeting someone without getting a feel for them first. To the OP, do what you feel is best. There are a lot of creeps out there (depending on location) and you don't want to put yourself in a sketchy situation. As women, we should be careful with meeting too quick. But I don't want to make it into gender wars now. Link to comment
Coconut Twin Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 I don't know about anybody else, but me? I'm a slow burner, no rush rush business. I like for the two of us to at least get some sort of rapport going, decent conversation about.interests and so on before meeting up. Most my relationships started off with online messaging, gravitating to stimulating phone calls, then to the meet. That's how I like it. Can't stand when a guy is so eager to meet and hasn't even asked anything about myself and I haven't even had a chance to ask about him... If you don't mind go for it but don't feel any pressure, do what feels right for you. Link to comment
Dynaudio Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 Kinda like meeting a random girl, asking for her number, and then asking her out on a date. I usually know nothing about her other then her name. I agree with this. People attach an irrational fear to meeting just because the base of introduction is "online". If you met someone in the grocery store and they asked you out on a date, you'd know even less about them because they wouldn't have a profile sitting there for you to read. Yet people meet this way all the time and there's nothing weird about it. Link to comment
Coconut Twin Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 It depends on the individual. For me it isn't an "irrational fear" to not want to meet up straight away. Maybe some people like things done in stages so they can least get a general idea and background of who they're going to meet. Yes people meet in public places, its spontaneous and impromptu, you don't expect it and that's lovely. This isn't planned like going online, composing a profile on a dating site to spark interest - IMO I feel more inclined to want to elaborate on their profile. I'm not gonna view a persons profile, not talk about it and say, "right, tomorrow 7 o'clock.." It's like calm down mate...haven't even put my hair in rollers yet lol. I can understand we're all getting old and want to settle at some point, but let's just chat a bit first... Link to comment
BrianH46 Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 I rather enjoy chats and learning about someone over dinner or a cup of coffee, its nice to see if they can hold a conversation in person rather then with unlimited time to formulate what they want to say through some text and smileys. I feel you get a better sense of who they are that way before I decide if they are someone I'm compatible with but I guess my thoughts are strange for this day and age Link to comment
Coconut Twin Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 Your thoughts aren't strange. It's normal, I'm just saying its nice to chat a bit before meeting up and of course there will be more convo in person..but anyway I guess I'm in the minority here.... Link to comment
BrianH46 Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 Your thoughts aren't strange. It's normal, I'm just saying its nice to chat a bit before meeting up and of course there will be more convo in person..but anyway I guess I'm in the minority here.... Lol naw I'm just teasing, the majority of girls think the same way but I guess with so many weird guys out there if I was a woman id feel the same. Link to comment
Grace696 Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 I've never done online dating (yet) but one of my best friends (who is about to have a baby with her long-term boyfriend who she met online) has experience and is full of opinions. She says: don't muck about with endless messaging back and forth, because this can't tell you anything about physical chemistry, and often you'll get your hopes up only to meet them and be disappointed. She says: after some brief online chitchat set up a meeting, something very casual like coffee or a drink, where you have the excuse that you have to go somewhere afterwards. So, maybe this guy is operating from this principle, although as someone else said, I wouldn't know whether he had a great sense of humour or was an arrogant d*ck. I would find it a little abrupt that he didn't seem to be interested in finding anything else about you. I also find it pretty strange when strangers ask me out. I mean, you know nothing at all about me, and if you are asking me solely based on my looks, and the very fact that that seems to be what you are interested in makes me think maybe we won't be a good match. And I know nothing at all about you! You might be a moron! You might not have a moral compass! Link to comment
Celadon Posted June 29, 2012 Share Posted June 29, 2012 What a corny first line! I hope you've been able to get to know him a little better through chatting. If a guy really wants to meet any woman who approaches him at any time, then he's not looking for very much... Link to comment
The_Seeker Posted June 29, 2012 Share Posted June 29, 2012 About 20 mins ago I sent a guy a message online that I thought looked nice and had a cool profile. I ended the message with asking if he's upto anything exciting this weekend. He replied saying 'I was hoping to meet you this weekend ;-) x' ....... This is literally his first reply back to me, now I understand some guys don't like constant messaging back and forth without actually meeting but this seems so soon? We have barely chatted, He's not asked any questions back to me in his reply either. What should I reply?? Should I just leave it? Arghh he's just popped up on the chat...let's see what he's got to say.... LMAO I'm so stealing his line and see what type of response I would get from guys that I replied that to. OP, just make sure you have his number, and call him and set up a plan and date. If he acts weird on the phone or seem fishy or talk very sexual, cancel and move onto the next. LOL Link to comment
camus154 Posted June 29, 2012 Share Posted June 29, 2012 What a corny first line! I hope you've been able to get to know him a little better through chatting. If a guy really wants to meet any woman who approaches him at any time, then he's not looking for very much... Bull hockey! It's a fantastic first line. It's ballsy, it's direct, I dig it. Let's all of us put away our ivory towers and not act like because a guy's willing to meet off the bat, there must be something wrong with his standards. Quit taking it so seriously! Link to comment
Lucy3 Posted June 29, 2012 Author Share Posted June 29, 2012 Thanks for your replies everyone, its intersting to see really different opinions! I have been online dating on and off for a year and have met a complete range of guys, from those who just seem to want to text for ages to those who want to meet up straight away, ive had so many dating disasters with both kinds of guys so i think my head is clouded as to what is 'normal' anymore, if there even is a 'normal'! One guy i once met text me a lot and we built up some really good conversations, it got to about 3 weeks and he still hadnt mentioned meeting up so i asked him and he kept avoiding the subject! Eventually we got to a time and date of when we were going to meet and when i text to confirm it i didnt hear from him! So i text to say i guess u have changed your mind about meeting and he just sent me a message back saying 'take care' Haha disaster!! I also met another guy on there who we chatted on msn for a couple of hours and met the next day! We went out for two months but it didnt work out, he was straight to the point which i kind of liked. So i guess everyone is different and maybe this current guy is just not wanting to waste time in messaging loads and then us not actually being a good match. We chatted a bit more and he did ask questions etc and hes text me this morning so im just going to meet him on Tuesday in a public place and see what happens! Link to comment
lalalollipops Posted June 29, 2012 Share Posted June 29, 2012 Woah you don't beat round the bush do ya? good luck! Though I too usually need to see if I click with sb before I consider even going on a date with them. Just cos I think the mental component is the most important. Link to comment
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