I feel its time for a break but he just dropped a load of money for me...

[klvd]

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and it has been a struggle. so much so that about a month ago the frustration was almost too much and we almost split up. i've delt with a bunch of bull with his prior drinking problem, lack of respect etc etc. the list goes on and on but in the end i decided to stay with him because all in all, while he still isnt the perfect boyfriend he has come along way and i appreciate the effort and i love him very much.

 

things have been good the last few weeks but honestly im just so exhauasted from the past that i hardly even miss him when he's away any more, and i frequently find myself dwelling on and getting upset about things that have happened in the past. I've come to realize that both of us have gotten so caught up in our relationship that we've changed and lost touch with who we are as individuals. im feeling incrediably insecure about our future right now and I think some time apart to let the resentment and hurt and doubt settle and also to reconnect with friends and find our old hobbies would be exactly what we need to save this relationship.

 

BUT i'm hesitant to suggest such a thing at the moment because he just requested off work and paid for all the reservations for my sisters wedding at the end of july, its an out of state wedding and its a pricey one. he almost went broke to ensure he could be there for me.

 

 

what do i do

[DN]

I think if you suggest a break now and he loses all that money you can expect the relationship to end.

 

BTW - a break almost always means a break-up - much better to work on the relationship while you are together.

[klvd]

how do i re discover myself while im with him then? we got so serious so fast...

 

I just really feel 2 weeks or so independent from each other would do wonders for us. it would give us time to let all the pain from the drama die down and let us really miss each other. distance makes the heart grow fonder

[DN]

Not when he has just dropped a whole lot of money to be with you at the wedding.

 

And distance does not always make the heart grow fonder- it just hardens them and makes matters worse. What you should do is have a talk about the issues that you have and work out a sensible way to deal with them.

[GetOverItPlz]

^ +1.

 

Sit down and have a talk with him about your problems.. if you want a future with this man, you need to learn to work through these problems sensibly. It might get heated, it might get harder, but if you can get through it, it'll be worth it. If you can't, trust me... a break wouldn't have done any different.

 

Try to work it out together- maybe spend a couple less days a week together, incorporate your own friends into things you guys do, etc... and just try to enjoy yourself again.