Advice on my situation (update)

[zb]

First off this new girl is not really my girlfriend yet. She said she would date me next year. This summer she goes on a school trip. She wants me to have time to get over any other feelings I may have for my fiancee, which I think is really cool. The new girl "kind of" has a boyfriend that has been a long distance type of thing. She wants to break it off because it is not serious and they have not seen each other the entire year. They were best friends where she lives.

 

I thought maybe she was just humoring by saying that she is interested but she says that she really is. We have much in common in the way that we see the world, I knew this just from observing her among our circle of friends, she said that she has observed me some too.

 

I am not sure if anything will even start from this....... I accept that next year I may end up with no one, but I don't love my fiancee anymore so it would not be good to stay with her knowing that.

 

I have soooooooo much love to give and we are just not similar in that respect. I am open about my feelings and she is not. This new girl might be.

 

I talked to my parents about it and my mom has now called my fiancee mom........ they don't know what to think. My mother said it feels as if there is a death in the family if I do indeed stop the relationship... but in the relationship I have felt dead... not that I wanted to... I gave signs of life, I reached out, I cried........ and now I am numb. It is like my brain has shut off the "love her" part............. this new girl makes me smile, happy... I have not been happy all school year.

 

The new girl did have some concerns because I am graduating and I think she was afraid I am moving away but I am not I am staying in this town... and even if I move home I am just 40 miles away. I think she may have been hurt in the past and is just afraid of getting into something that will not work. I asked her some question like what she wants out of a relationship and if she really wanted to work on a long term thing and she said yes.... we would want to build a good foundation and trust and she says she has never been unfaithful to any of her boyfriends. She has had 4 boyfriends none have been serious. She also said for me not to expect to just start having sex with her which I understand, lol. That is not what I even want... I want to get to know her... I might want to hold her. I have held her, gave her a little massage.......I am happy, so happy.......I can't help it that others do not understand.

 

I mean does it sound good that this girl says that she is interested in starting something... I mean like she was planing to leave after the next school year but she also said that who knows she might stay.......I don't know if she is suggesting that if we really hit it off she would stay or what. I guess it is a good sign that she came over two times knowing how I feel.

[SwingFox]

Hello Balhatain,

 

Thank you for coming back once again. I am glad to hear that you feel so happy as of late. I understand that this young woman plays a big part in that happiness.

 

Before I believe I suggested that you should allow your fiancee closure. I also believe that I explain how you could give your fiancee closure best. I think it's awesome that you guys wait till after summer, so that both of you could sort out your feelings and I hope it really works out for you.

 

As for your worries wether it is or is not gonna work, I don't know. People even marry and divorce after 10, 15 or 20 years. Only time will tell. I can tell you, though, that I read in your message how you communicate so well among each other. Communication leads to a better understanding, so from that point of view, things are going good.

 

I wish you more happiness in the future and look forward to hear more updates from you.

 

~ SwingFox ~

[zb]

I just need to be careful because I may have have called the new girl and her friends a lil to much.... I just want to get to know her as much as possible in the few days of school we have left. I guess I need to just relax.

 

I have some questions though. If I do indeed pursue this new girl would it be wise to be here towards the end of summer to meet her off the bus one she arrives back at the school from her trip.... like should I let her know in advance that I would like to... and maybe even invite her to my apartment to stay a few days before going home. Should I get her a white rose or something like that. Or maybe get her a white rose before this year is over, like the day I tell her good bye? I mean I know we want to wait until next year before actually giving us a try, but wouldn't it be good to do something nice like that before she leaves?

[SwingFox]

Balhatain,

 

If you are going to pick her up from the bus, I would do it, but not tell her in advance. It's always nice to be surprised that way. If you plan to go through with that rose, I would choose to do that this school year, before she leaves. May be you could attach a little note to it, saying: "Remember me"

 

You're a real romantic, man ... I have to admit that. I believe this young woman is in very much luck you waiting for her. Hold on to that

 

~ SwingFox ~

[zb]

Ok, the new girl is coming over Tuesday night to finish a movie with me.......now I have already massaged her and so on......should I go for that first kiss maybe? My buddy who is our group of friends was shocked that she let me massage her because I guess she is the type to punch a guy if he touches her... which means she must really like me. She shot two guys down this semester to from what I was told. So she must be really interested.