Yearning back for her yet unertain.

[Munky]

Hey ya all.... thanks for listening to this.

I broke up with my ex about 1 month ago cuz she said she didn't feel a thing no more for me. It's not the first time this happened... we sorta took a hiatus previously in the relationship and got back after that. I expected it to last longer but then it finally ended 2 weeks later. I was devastated and the pain still lasts. The reason she gave was that she couldn't commit at this point of time and she wasn't ready. After that she got to know another guy abd she was constantly calling me to tell me about it. She tells me stuff like she feels she's ready to commit as he made her feel that way and she was prepared to give her all into this relationship with the guy. I really didn't wanna hear anything about it. It wasn't fair to me at all as she didn't wanna put in effort when she was with me. She told me she felt i was her best friend still and she wanted to tell me everything. I hated it. The guy finally asked her to be with him and she readily consented. During this time i still loved her alot and she still called me. After 2 weeks with him.... something happened between them and they broke up. She came crying to me and i felt very sad to see her like that cuz i still oved her and i didn't want her to get hurt. So i comforted her and told her it' gonna alright. She told me sorry cuz she knew now how i felt. We got very close to each other and i'm feeling very strongly for her. It's only been 2 days since she broke up with the guy. I know it's not the time to initiate a patch back but i couldn't help but ask about it to her. She told me she felt i was still her best friend and it's probable we couldn't get back. That hurt me cuz she leaves me messages on my handphone telling me that after what we've been through i mean more to her than the guy. I'm at a lost now of what to do cuz i really love her very much and i do wanna get back with her. What should i do? How can i prove to her that this won't be a failure again? I know she needs time to heal and i'm willing to give her that. But what after? I need her badly.

[SwingFox]

Munky,

 

Welcome to eNotalone and thank you for coming to us with your questions. I am sorry to hear of all the confusion that you are going through. I understand that you are going through a difficult time right now.

 

I am a little worried over this young woman. She seem to break up very easily with people. It looks like that she tries to take the easy way constantly, instead of communicating her issues with those that she is with. After all, all she told you when she broke up, was that she needed space and couldn't commit right now. Not to mention that only two weeks later she hooks up with someone and telling you that all of a sudden she IS ready for commitment. I find that very contradictory, as if she can't make up her mind. Especially when she breaks up not even two weeks after that!

 

I can imagine that you still have deep feelings for her. Feelings don't change overnight, especially when you have been together for a longer period of time. You just can't shut off your emotion like that and stop feeling for a person. Still, based on what I have read and my thoughts, you might want to think about this a little longer. If you get back together, what are the chances that she is going to hurt you again? She already hurt you by telling you constantly how great this other guy was. Is she gonna stay with you this time or are you only comfortable, because you are available at the time? What if she finds someone else again? You're going to feel devastated if she breaks up with you again. Last but not least, you also have to consider this: are you ever gonna trust her again for 200%? Are you willing and able to let go of the history that you used to have?

 

I hope that this gave you some insight and I wish you good luck in making the decision that works for you.

 

~ SwingFox ~

[hazel eyes]

Before even reading this...I'm going to just say that I believe sometimes half of the reasons you miss someone is you feel lonely, if there were someone else in the picture, you might not give a damn.

You feel like your missing out on fun times w/ her, security now has breeched...your all alone in this world, you have to work back up your friendship and get used to hanging out with them now. Things are weird between the two of you and nobody likes those awkward moments.

ok now imma go read.

[hazel eyes]

Yea, I don't think you yourself are convinced that it won't be a failure.

You are going to be hurting even worst if you get back w/ her and then realize that she was never as into it as you were.

Sure your feelings are telling you , you need her badly...and the quick fix for a heart in pain is to be w/ her. You know how this is almost at your grasp, and it will make everything better....but only for a little while.

I wouldn't want to put myself in a situation where I already know that this person looks at it in such a negative way. She is already basically telling you it won't work. But the naive side of people whom sometimes just want people to hold....will take over and the cycle will start over. You'll break up again she'll look for comfort in someone else's arms...and what of you? The pain will be so bad, you will ask yourself what were you thinking? She has done it once, and she'll do it again. I'm sorry that this is so negative...but i was once naive and now i realize what people are capable of. It isn't pretty.

[brandos lovechild]

damn,im sorry that you are havin to go through this munk. I think this girl is terribly insecure from what you have written, to tell u details of that new relationship, after u had jus broken up, makes me think she was looking for a painful reaction from you..which is also extremely spiteful ! She also seems to enjoy the fact she is in a position to exploit your emotions as well as this other guy's. we all long for that person we once thought was so special, but the good news is that from your post, i believe that deep down you know this girl is miss heartbreaker 2003 and is to be neither trusted or welcomed again. try and put her out of your life as best u can bro, good luck. 8)