How to handle this situation

[mikeca]

I'm going to be as upfront and frank as possible here because this has been weighing on my mind heavily the past month or so. There is some sexual content involved so if that bothers you move on.

 

I had this hook up with a co-worker on my birthday after exchanging some back and forth flirty texts and hanging out. Well it did not go well I drank too much and could not get an erection. So we fooled around and I performed oral on her (twice) then in the morning she mentioned I would get a second chance. Well I also made the mistake of thinking this was a beginning of a relationship so I kind of scared her off by telling her I liked her and eventually I also said the ball was in her court if she ever wanted to pursue anything. So after a month of not much contact (except work) we've been hanging out and having drinks (her suggestion, basically once a week) and having these really great moments (prolonged eye contact and laughing). Every time were having drinks I'm fighting back the urge to kiss her..and its quite the urge. Its even started to cross my mind at work and it has caused me to be a bit of a Jekyll and Hyde with her on occasion; On one side I care for her and want to treat her well yet also know that she would not be good for me, then there's another side that just seriously WANTS HER in almost every fiber of my being. I believe that side is my ego, as I want to show her that wasn't all me that night and I'm feeling the NEED to be with her. It kills me inside to think that I had the opportunity to be with her yet COULDN'T! Why would the universe/god tempt me so!?!

 

All this back and forth in my head is what I think is causing me to be that "Jekyll and Hyde" some days I accept that it was nothing and others I blame myself and also her for teasing me in other ways. She recently got a tattoo on the right side of her body and sent me a pretty racy picture with her hand covering her breast that made my jaw drop. And over the drinks the looks i sometimes get just drive me crazy. There was even one time at work where I was pulling an all nighter on a project where I literally had to tell her not to look at me a certain way.

 

 

I think half of this was just to get out of my head and onto to something I could see - This girl is one of my only "friends" in this new town I'm in and that makes it scary for me to cut ties but I think the next time I have some alone time I will have to tell her I can't do this anymore and need a clear boundary between us.

 

 

So do I do this? and tell her or ignore it and just bare it until i find someone else?

[abitbroken]

so I kind of scared her off by telling her I liked her and eventually I also said the ball was in her court if she ever wanted to pursue anything.

 

Did she SAY she was scared? Well, by sending you racy pictures I think she is pursuing something. You either need to tell her that it will never work as coworkers and she needs to stop sending you stuff like that or you need to pursue her back but be clear about what you both want. Personally, work romance is really really dicey but I am not you or her.