Met ex after 1 1/2 years! Eeek!

[diddums]

I previously posted about my ex contacting me saying I should come out for a drink as she was gonna be in my local area working for one day.

It struck up my curiosity as I hadn't spoke properly to her in over a year or seen her in over year! I had no intention to meet up and try spark something or try getting back together magically in one night, I have my mind set on someone else. So I just saw her as a friend and that wanted to catch up, thought it be nice to see how she was. Aswell like I said, I wondered on why she would want to see me?

 

So I went out this evening with my mates and before meeting them I quickly dropped by where she was working. I could see her serving drinks looking miserable as anything(i was actually laughing to myself)! But the moment I caught her attention with a little inside joke we used to always do when we saw each other, she lit up in a second! Shouting out OH MY GOD *my name*! with this big smile. Then all I could see was her working away with a smile on her face. All of a sudden she came running out of no where, with this big hug! She said she wasnt expecting me to come along at all and asked why I was there. I explained and said I better get going asking her when she finished and maybe ill see her later when she wasnt so busy, she told me the time and carried on with work, but I could just see her pointing at me and her workers smiling at me as I walked off.

 

So evening went on and my friends went home. I was on my way to the car and thought id see if she was still working. She had finished and came to talk to me, still with a smile.

She started asking about my car as I was parked nearby, and we went for a walk her being eager to see it. So we got talking about how long it been since she had seen me and how weird it was to now be talking after so long. We had alot of laughs together about the past and me just making fun of her and how she was at work today, how some guys today said she was fit, she asked me to come to her birthday party she had planned in June as well.

 

I showed her my tattoos she was so dying to see, she wouldnt stop touching them either! Got onto the subject of them and how she wanted one, hoping I would help her.

She started saying how she really liked my band and wanted to come to a gig for a long time, but always felt it would be awkward between us. I said it was understandable and she should have no worries with coming to one in future. She said she will the moment she can now, as she always hated the idea of turning up and being pictured as "ewww its his ex whys she here"

Before she went in she kinda brought up about our breakup slightly, I could tell it made her feel weird. But I steered the convo without thinking.

We left it all with her mentioning she would be working again there next Saturday and that we should all go out sometime, but that it was really nice to see me. I gave her a hug and she went inside.

 

 

So...

I felt really really weird after seeing her and talking to her. I cant describe it, almost surreal I suppose? Like I never thought id actually see her again, and I was kinda nervous.

The talking and laughing just made me feel happy to see her smiling and made me feel, like I havnt felt in a while. But at the same time I couldnt help but feel slightly upset.

I really was not expecting any of these feelings to come through today, just a casual chit chat with a friend I thought it be. But I suppose with a ex its never just casual or simple when you both shared something. I think it was just seeing her smiling again and laughing is what made me feel down, afterwards. I started crying slightly when I got to the car, as it all went through my head what just happened.

I found out from my friend, she is with this guy who she started seeing right after me. She didnt mention him once tonight, as before she never would stop talking about him pointlessly to me.

 

Im not sure what to make of tonight, or her. But I feel it was some sort of release for me weirdly. While at the same time its shown me that even though im fine with her being this guy. She still holds a part of me that no one else has managed to grab yet. It hurts, and ye im being soppy but its hard to describe. I dunno if she hopes to see me alot more now or not. Part of me would like to just fade away, but it seems to me even she still latches onto part of me for her to still talk and want to see me.

 

 

Thank you

[Streetbob]

Thanks for sharing that!

Sounds like a real roller coaster of emotion.

 

With time passing by I have wondered myself how I would be with the ex, although I last saw my ex just 3 months ago.

 

Interesting point about you being ok with her being with "the other guy". I too am not as uptight about the possibility of my ex moving on with somebody else. Guess it is just part of the healing process.

 

SB

[diddums]

Thank you, Im glad you found it interesting. I think it has showed me that I dont need to be with her and that im ok with her and what shes chooses to do with her life. But at the same time its clear that I will probably always care for her alot. Which is the part I never saw for myself till now. Still feels slightly surreal now haha