Younger Cousin that I grew up with passed away today.

[EgoJoe]

My younger cousin drowned today attempting to save his friend's child. They went fishing and I guess the kid went in and he dove down to save him and got caught in the undertow/a whirlpool and did not make it.

 

I am in shock. I teared up for a little bit but it faded quickly and I wondered if I was forcing it. I grew up with this kid and we had faded and lost touch. I can't even clearly recall the last time I hung out with him because it was in a period of severe alcohol and marijuana usage. I remember when we were both kids at my Grandmother's house though.

 

I couldn't bring myself to go to an A.A. meeting to spread the message of hope to others, I went but had to leave. I am feeling very anxious and guilty for doing so well in my life when his life came to a sudden end. I'm not "lost" or beside myself or anything yet I wonder how deep my shock or denial is. I'll be travelling out of state for his funeral in the next week or two I suppose and I am a little apprehensive with regard to that.

 

I have a few other things going on in my life which feel akin to awkward and are nearly providencial coincidence but that could be my mind playing tricks on me so I am trying to put that on the backburner.

 

I am mostly posting this to articulate what I am thinking, feeling, perceiving and wondering in such a way so as to garner some outside objectivity as well as put my thoughts down in a linear manner.

 

If anyone else has experienced a loss in a similar circumstance and can relate I would really appreciate the insight.

[marconi68]

Sorry Joe for your loss. Tragic news.

 

I grew up with my cousin, we were best friends as kids. We were close. As we got older we lost touch. He took his life at 21. I'm still saddened sometimes by that. Because there are no answers.

 

Thoughts are with you

[chickydoodle]

Two of my first cousins died from drug overdoses. The first one hit hard as I was young and in shock . The second didnt, as I have a more philosophical aproach to life and death now. I do believe there is a reason things happen even if we dont fully understand such reasons.

Your cousin died in a noble way.

You dont have to force yourself to feel grief if it isnt really there. If there is a lesson to be learned for you, from his death -and/or his life. Focus on that esp if it has taught you something about yourself..

[pippy longstocking]

oh hey joe ...really sorry to hear this ...he did a wonderful thing trying to save

his friends child ..the outcome has been pure tragic , he has honour and respect.

 

I am very sorry fella x

[Seraphim]

I am so sorry for your loss. That is so tragic. Your cousin is a hero.

[EgoJoe]

So I've determined that it wasn't forced but that I came to terms with the loss quickly and I am immediately in my acceptance and mourning stage. I think it has to do with the hardships I've endured over the past year.

 

Waiting to find out about the funeral arrangements today.

[EgoJoe]

It is confirmed that the little kid didn't make it either.

[chickydoodle]

v v sad. He and your cousin probably have a karmic connection that will continue, as do you and your cousin.

It is tough, when life metes out blow after blow.

If you are not spiritual and have no Faith , it is harder to adopt a philosophy of acceptance. I found Neale Walshe CWG helped me understand the pain and grief of the world.

In these situations , it is always hardest on those left behind.

Stay stoic and strong. Wherever he is , he will know you mourned for him. And yet I believe that those who pass on , do not want us to grieve for them. They are in a good place. It is those of us left behind, have many more battles to fight.