Need advice fast on after break up

[lioness726]

So, my ex dumped me 2 and a half weeks ago and I'm still hurting. However, I know I have to move on, this is the right thing, and this is the best decision. Although I still hurt like hell and often times wish he would call me even though I know he won't. The loneliness and lack of him in my routine and happy thoughts is killer.

What I need advice for is a week after we broke up, I went to his house and picked up my things. He was acting weird and in a hurry to get me out and I was rushing and so I forgot some things. I e-mailed him at work the next day and he just told me to have my mutual friend, Julie, pick up the stuff I left. Later I realized that there were some lingerie pictures I had given him recently and wanted back. My friend is a photographer and in the span of the year that we were together there were two sets of pics taken and given to my ex. One set was of me in a really nice outfit and were given to him for Valentine's Day. The second set were the lingerie pics that I had given him 2 months ago.

I felt that I wanted back only the lingerie pictures because I felt that they were a privelage and since he wasn't my BF anymore that privelage had expired. I felt that he could keep the Valentine's Day pictures and those would be memories.

So, I told my friend about the pictures and she asked for them back. Later I had found out that he was pissed about giving them back and that she had taken both sets of pictures. I said to her, "Tell him there was a misunderstanding and that I I only wanted the lingerie pics and he can have back the V-Day pictures." So, she told him and apparently his reaction was, "That's fine. I don't want them anyway."

So, geez, talk about a knife stabbing me in my stomach again. I mean, I understand why he felt he had to say he didn't want them but... doesn't he want any memories of me? We didn't end on bad terms, just painful ones.

So, after this mix up I still have more of my things at his place and I had called his mother (who is moving out of their place soon) while my ex was at work and we had arranged that anytime he's not there and she is, I can get my stuff. Well, what I want to know is if I should leave those pictures of me in an envelope on his bed with a note. The note would state something along the lines of,

"Look, I really don't want these. They were meant to be a gift for you and they were meant to stay that way. I don't want them. I don't need more reminders of you. You can do whatever you want with with them. Throw them away, burn them, use them as toilet paper. But whatever you do, please don't give them back to me. Don't make me feel like the year that we did spend together was completely meaningless. "

 

So, should I do this? Or should I just let the picture situation go. It 's just that I have soo many pictures of him (and, no, I don't burn pictures. They are memories)- and he only has a few of me now. Not very many. And I honestly don't want them back. They remind me of him way too much eventhough they're just pictures of me. Should I do this? If so, is there anything I should add in the note? What should I do?

[light bulb]

Honestly, I wouldn't bother with the pictures or the note. If he says he doesn't want them, then he doesn't deserve them. That's the way I am with situations like this...I don't like games or drama. BTW, I completely understand why you wanted the lingerie pictures back, but I think it's a bad idea to give them to your SO if you're gonna want them back when/if things go sour. Good luck!

[Clarabelle]

I agree with Oatmeal.

 

Also, sometimes people go on a real purge after they break up with someone and rid their lives of everything that pertains to that person. I've seen relatives of mine throw everything into a box or give it away after they lose a love. It's not that you aren't important. Don't think that way at all. It may just be "out of sight, out of mind" for him.

[Scout]

I'd say it's ok to leave a note, but not the one you were planning on leaving. i think this would be better:

 

"I want you to have these. Maybe one day you can look at them and remember we did have good times and at one time, we played an important part in each other's lives. " And leave it at that!