LDR is over....do I try and talk to her?

[ramster135]

I've been in a long distance relationship for about a year and have been talking to this girl for about 2. We both go to school and live accross the country from each other. I met her for the first time over spring break and it was a complete dream come true. We hit things off just like i thought we would and being with her made me the happiest i've ever been. Her parents were never really supportive of our relationship because they saw it as a distraction from school, and after I went to go visit her they saw how close we were and were even more against it just because I lived so far away. While I was visiting there we both agreed that we would try and work something out so we could see each other in the summer in order to keep this relationship going.

 

A couple weeks ago things started to change.....she seemed a little off and i could clearly tell. I asked her about it and she said that she is just numb about the entire situation. The distance between us was really getting to her and she said that she feels as if we go through the same routine everyday of just texting/talking. She says she has no motivation to text me....and according to her she promises that its not me...its the distance. Usually im the one getting upset about not being able to see each other. We both knew something had to change....but i had always figured that we would figure something out after she had talked to her parents about coming to stay with me over summer for about a week or so. During our talk she had insisted that her parents would say no, but i told her what have we got to lose ya know? We were on good terms and she said that she would talk to her mom and tell her everything about us.

 

About 3 days after that she still had not talked to her mom. Why should i force her to talk to her parents....shouldn't she want to in order to try at least something to come see me? So i just gave up and told her that day that we needed to talk. I despise having important conversations like this over text but she didnt give me a choice So I told her that i didnt think anything had changed since the last time we talked...and she agreed. I had been getting vibes from her that she wanted to end things before that, but she was always too scared to say it. So she kept asking me what do you want to do....and i told her that "im not gonna keep going if you feel like we should end things...so then i guess this is over" and she said okay i guess it is.

 

I havent talked to her since this happened, which was yesterday, and im dying to just talk to her so maybe we can really figure something out or at least end things on the right foot. We loved each other so much....i thought and still think she is the perfect girl for me and believe 100% that if it wasn't for this distance, we would be SO happy together. Its just that if she cared enough about me, shouldn't she want to text me too? Do you think we just need a break or should stay broken up? And should i text her? I know she could be thinking the same thing as me but at this point im just completely lost. I've never been so heartbroken....i guess this is as worse as it gets

 

Sorry if my story was unclear im pretty new at this....but would really appreciate the advice!

[ToF]

Why not call her?

[ramster135]

Why not call her?

 

 

She can rarely talk on the phone because she's always around her parents. But shouldn't I wait for her to contact me first to prove that she still cares?

[ToF]

You could do that. It may help you to get some time to cool down and gain perspective.

 

To be honest, it sounds like she is not cut out for a long-distance relationship. She doesn't seem to have the communication skills. Know that I mean?

[ramster135]

Right, but I was the one always getting upset and down about being so apart and she would remind me to stay positive. Its hard not texting her but hopefully it gets a little easier and maybe a little room or break is what she needs.

[ToF]

You being the one to get upset isn't the point. You were the one to communicate about it, whereas she let it fester until it died.