Do you guys check your date's drawer's while she's out of the room?

[PrettyGood]

This question has been torturing me for years. I'm not the most tidy person in the world and sometimes the biggest mess is not in my whole room, but in my wardrobe and table drawers. Sometimes when I have a date at my place I ask if he wants tea or coffee. Then I need to leave my room for 5-10 minutes. And at that time I have not even the slightest idea what is he doing while he's in my room.

 

Do you usually take a peek at girl's wardrobe or table drawers just out of curiosity?

[Alezia]

I imagine they must, but it's not like you can open your mouth about it after. The way I see it, you are safe either way.

[FlashEng1]

This question has been torturing me for years. I'm not the most tidy person in the world and sometimes the biggest mess is not in my whole room, but in my wardrobe and table drawers. Sometimes when I have a date at my place I ask if he wants tea or coffee. Then I need to leave my room for 5-10 minutes. And at that time I have not even the slightest idea what is he doing while he's in my room.

 

Do you usually take a peek at girl's wardrobe or table drawers just out of curiosity?

 

I've been guilty of it.. mostly with a girlfriend, not a date or some random girl.. BUT with a date/random girl I will admit to....allowing....my...eyes.... roam around while sitting on her bed waiting. But that little voice in my head always comes out to chew me out for even thinking about ... roaming.. around like that.

[Pinnacle]

Every time. I even take some underwear to put into my back pocket to add to the collection when I head back home!

[LDRohnos]

Every time. I even take some underwear to put into my back pocket to add to the collection when I head back home!

 

Nice.

 

Anyway, my eyes are free to do what they will, I have no control over them. No, I've never gone rifling through someone's private possessions.

[PrettyGood]

I imagine they must, but it's not like you can open your mouth about it after. The way I see it, you are safe either way.

 

I don't agree. For example, sometimes if they dump me too soon in dating phase, I still have my guts feeling that they checked my closet and then decided not to date a messy girl. I mean, is it a DEAL BREAKER?

[FlashEng1]

Every time. I even take some underwear to put into my back pocket to add to the collection when I head back home!

 

Pix or it didn't happen...... /troll

 

LOL! But seriously, Pretty Good, I don't understand the time frame here.. Typically I get invited for coffee/tea when I first enter her apt. Which would mean waiting in the living room. And bathroom breaks are too short to even consider risk taking so I'd agree and say you're safe either way.

[PrettyGood]

Pix or it didn't happen...... /troll

 

LOL! But seriously, Pretty Good, I don't understand the time frame here.. Typically I get invited for coffee/tea when I first enter her apt. Which would mean waiting in the living room. And bathroom breaks are too short to even consider risk taking so I'd agree and say you're safe either way.

 

It's not about the time frame. I'm living in the one room flat. So let's say the guy knocks, I open the door and he comes straight into my room. But the kitchen is general for all habitats, so I need to leave my room for a while to go to another place to make that tea/coffee.

[duke nukem]

That would be an odd thing to do. Do you want to date someone who doesn't respect your personal space?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I don't agree. For example, sometimes if they dump me too soon in dating phase, I still have my guts feeling that they checked my closet and then decided not to date a messy girl. I mean, is it a DEAL BREAKER?

 

I think you are being concerned over the wrong thing...you should be more concerned about a guy who would invade your privacy by opening your drawers and cupboards. Would you really want to be with a guy who doesn't respect your privacy? Would you walk into someone's home and start opening their drawers without permission?

[abitbroken]

I just thought of the episode of sienfeld where he looks in his date's closet to see if she has any other clothes than the dress he always sees her in - or a closet of the same

[PrettyGood]

Do you want to date someone who doesn't respect your personal space?

 

Would you really want to be with a guy who doesn't respect your privacy?

 

Guys, I have never caught guys. I even have no idea what are they doing while I'm not there and worrying for the worst in my head. That's why I popped out this strange question about what are they doing there?

[LDRohnos]

Guys, I have never caught guys. I even have no idea what are they doing while I'm not there and worrying for the worst in my head. That's why I popped out this strange question about what are they doing there?

 

Usually picking their ears or scratching themselves. If you assume this is what a man is doing all the time....at least 60% of the time you'll be right.

[PrettyGood]

Usually picking their ears or scratching themselves. If you assume this is what a man is doing all the time....at least 60% of the time you'll be right.

 

No way! I heard some funny rumor about one man who was brushing picture frames at the girl's house to find out if she's messy or tidy, checking if he can find some dusts or not, because it's the least place which the girl may forget to clean After that I'm always cleaning that part, but I'm more scared about closet and drawers checking I have no idea if they do that or not

[lanaa]

No way! I heard some funny rumor about one man who was brushing picture frames at the girl's house to find out if she's messy or tidy, checking if he can find some dusts or not, because it's the least place which the girl may forget to clean After that I'm always cleaning that part, but I'm more scared about closet and drawers checking I have no idea if they do that or not

 

who would do that? funny guy

[Alezia]

I think it's human nature. People get curious and look around. It also depends on the level of comfort in the relationship. I would imagine for a first date not so much, but I pretty much expect any boyfriend or actual long term potential of mine to snoop around in my drawers or whatever in general. The way I see it, if you are naturally messy, he will find out sooner or later. Making false impressions is worst. Besides, you can't always be perfectly clean all of the time either - if a guy makes a general judgement on you after seeing a drawer once... his problem.

 

It seems from the above posts that it classifies in the deal breaker section for most people, but I wouldn't consider ending a relationship over something minor like this. If I had a locked drawer, and the guy was trying to barge in - that's a different story.

[confused1979]

I can honestly say I never have and would have no interest in doing so

[Crazyaboutdogs]

It actually isn't something minor...it really shows that the person has no respect for the one they are dating. It is no different than someone snooping on a person's cell phone, email etc. It is an invasion of privacy and an issue of someone's morals and ethics.

[FlashEng1]

It actually isn't something minor...it really shows that the person has no respect for the one they are dating. It is no different than someone snooping on a person's cell phone, email etc. It is an invasion of privacy and an issue of someone's morals and ethics.

 

Certainly a subjective matter. As I'd agree more-so with Alezia. I've dated women who have gone through my things, and I've dated women who I've even flat out TOLD I went through her things.. Of course with reason.. But that's the point it IS different. Each situation is different. Yes I would be upset if my girlfriend went through my cell phone, but I certainly wouldn't get ethical or political in my argument. It would be more about my girlfriend not having trust in me rather than a violation of my rights.

 

Scenario:

We've been dating for roughly 2 months, around 16, 17 dates, the most recent 4 or 5 have been more intimate and at your apartment.. While snuggled up, watching a movie in the living room, you begin to shiver a bit.. You're extremely comfortable lying in my arms, but even I begin to notice you're shaking, so I say something, and you mention your feet being cold but too comfortable to move... That's fine, I'll get them for you, where at? ... ok top drawer left side on dresser.. I go and grab the socks, but while entering the living room again, hold up an pair of old, worn out, definitely not your style, underwear, sort of laughing/teasing you... Do you stand up and throw me out and never talk to me again for such an invasion and lack of moral?

[Donovan79]

Haha, no guy will ever dump a girl because she's messy, PrettyGood. The best girlfriend I've ever had had some serious laundry issues, and while I tried to help her with it, it didn't make me care about her less, and as she still showered frequently and smelled great, it didn't hurt how attractive she was either.

 

That said, it doesn't hurt to try to stay tidy.

[fundate]

This question has been torturing me for years. I'm not the most tidy person in the world and sometimes the biggest mess is not in my whole room, but in my wardrobe and table drawers. Sometimes when I have a date at my place I ask if he wants tea or coffee. Then I need to leave my room for 5-10 minutes. And at that time I have not even the slightest idea what is he doing while he's in my room.

 

Do you usually take a peek at girl's wardrobe or table drawers just out of curiosity?

 

I think for every guy there must be a moment when they at least consider snooping.... it's human nature to be curious, after all.

 

Personally if I like a girl I don't invade her privacy because most things you find lack context and you simply cannot say after "so I was rummaging through your stuff and found X - what is that all about?" That leaves your mind to fill in the gaps.... yuck.

[PaintWithLight]

I don't agree. For example, sometimes if they dump me too soon in dating phase, I still have my guts feeling that they checked my closet and then decided not to date a messy girl. I mean, is it a DEAL BREAKER?

 

Did they dump you over being messy or did they have sex with you and then just moved on? Messy girls are a turnoff but many guys are just dating for sex. Once that happens or is seen as never going to happen, they cut their loses and move on.

[The_Seeker]

This question has been torturing me for years. I'm not the most tidy person in the world and sometimes the biggest mess is not in my whole room, but in my wardrobe and table drawers. Sometimes when I have a date at my place I ask if he wants tea or coffee. Then I need to leave my room for 5-10 minutes. And at that time I have not even the slightest idea what is he doing while he's in my room.

 

Do you usually take a peek at girl's wardrobe or table drawers just out of curiosity?

 

If I ever caught a guy doing that to me, then I would automatically friendzoned him and ask him this "Oh hey! I noticed you like girls' clothes. Are you trying to tell me something?"

 

Then kick him at the door, block his number, and move onto the next guy.