its been three years, but it feels just like yesterday

[bambambam]

hi guys,

for those outther who have lost the ones they most loved, i need your help

my grandmother died 3 years ago, around May, now 3 years later, i feel as if it was just like a week ago,

my grandmother and i shared a very tight bond and after her death, i was not able to truly trust anyone,

i found it was hard for me to have a good connection with any of my new friends, i didnt have a lot of friends since i am those type who always date and like to just stick to the bf. Now people form relationship with me, and when i sense any little thing i dont like about them, i will begin to hate them and harshly cut them from my life. After i would feel bad but still dont wanna reconnect. I feel the whole world is not worthy to share life with me,(its a disorder, i know)

what is happening and how do you call this situation?

thanks

[CatchersRye]

You are still grieving it seems and I think rushed into being social when you haven't truly addressed you lost. You need to take some alone time without distractions and work through this. If not, than pick someone you closed off and reconnect as friends and push yourself to do it.

[stardust65]

It would surprise me if your grandmother's death has anything to do with your difficulty in connecting with other people. I would say try to look for reasons that you do have control over. It is a little easy to point to something you have absolutely no control over, that is the death of your grandmother. I am not sure how old you are now, but three years is a long time, I mean it is possible that you were so close to your grandmother, that although you had difficulty connecting with other people, it really wasn't a big deal because you had your grandmother to turn to. Again I really don't know specifically but generally speaking a grandmother/granddaughter relationship isn't an equal relationship. Grandparents tend to spoil their grandkids so we really aren't talking about a peer-peer relationship. That also might have facilitated the relationship.