Ex husband sending annoying messages to family

[Natasha70]

My ex husband walked out on me and his twins 9 weeks ago. I tried to make contact with him via facebook and msn but got no reply. His sister then contacted me on fb and we got chatting, she told me he had told all the family to not have any contact with me at all (selfish s**t never realized he was cutting ties with his 5 yr old twins). I tried to make up with him but he ignored my msgs.

 

Once he had left I could not understand how from being so loving and caring he has turned into a sefish and abusive person, who thought he was always right and better than me, after doing lots of reaserch I saw he showed all the signs for narccism, which at the time I was unaware off \i though maybe I was a bad person who never admired him enough.

 

Anyway as I stopped all contact with him he has begun to msg my friends and family saying to them she treated me bad ans never took care of her and she forced me to leave the house. The problem is I have not told all my relatives we have broke up, but he is messaging them all telling them lies about me.

 

I am feeling so humiliated and embarrassed as I told my realatives he was the perfect husband (as he was my 2nd husband,and everyone could see he was using me except for me). I feel like messaging abuse to him as he is making me sound like the bad person, but do not want to fall to his low down level. I am so angry and hurt and don't know what to do.

 

Please help me friends.

[nutbrownhare]

Everyone could see he was using you except for you. His sister contacted you, despite the fact that he had told her not to. His family will have a handle on how he actually IS. Now he's going round spreading unpleasant rumours about you - do you honestly think anyone's going to believe them? Who do you really think is going to look like a spiteful, vengeful person here? You, or this abusive petty-minded man who's just walked out on his own children?

 

The moment you send any abuse to him, he's got ammunition. He's got something he can show people, to 'prove' how badly you treat him. Don't give it to him.

 

If you do sink to his level - that's when you can start feeling humiliated and embarrassed. No, keep your head held high, and keep your dignity. In years to come, you'll be so glad you did. Believe me!

[Natasha70]

[Natasha70]

I am trying so hard to ignore all the petty talk he is messaging to my friends and family. Part of me hates him so much and the other still has feelings for him, even though I should not. I was always honest and sincere to him and he always used me for his own use, ie free accommodation, food, evrything paid for and he treated me with disrepect, always accusing me of having affairs or cheating on him. I was so stupid not to pick up on his lies and abuse.

 

I am trying to restart my life again but it is quite hard especially when I see his beautiful daughter and son twins and I then wish he was around for his kids sake and I would treat him better than before, then I think that means I would be living a lie for my kids sake. He promised me the world and that I was such a nice person he could never afford to lose me. He never stuck with his words and I believed the sweet talk he gave me, which really hurts. He broke my heart and trust and abandoned his kids for the sake of money.

[Natasha24]

It's odd that we have the same name, because I posted a very similar question on here a few weeks ago. Here is the link to the thread, if you want to read it. I think the replies will help you as well:

 

 

 

Basically, all you can do is ignore him. I know it feels like people will believe him and take his side - but everyone is eventually going to realize how petty he is for what he's doing. Regardless of why you two broke up, he is making himself look incredibly immature by messaging everyone and talking about it. I feel embarrassed for HIM, not you! You are taking the high road. It hurts right now, but in a few months, you'll look back and realize how stupid he is making himself look.

 

Plus, no matter what lie he says ("she cheated on me", "she forced me out of the house", etc.), there is only one concrete proof - YOU have the kids. No matter what he says happened, everyone can see that he has abandoned his children.