Why won’t she let me move on??

[guy40az]

I really can't understand how the person that leaves you for someone else can't allow you to move on. Every time I start to get to feeling like things are getting better she has to do something to pull me back down. I really can't stand this rollercoaster ride much longer.

I try to do the NC as much as possible and if I could it would be NC at all but we have kids together.

 

She has been with another guy for over 8 months and living with him for 1 ½ months and that is ok for her. If I go out for coffee with a female then she totally goes nuts on me, she gets really jealous and then she called me 3 times while I was on a date. I can't figure her out at all. Why can't she just let me move on so I can get over our relationship? It is killing me to have her do this to me all the time.

 

In the last 6 weeks I have not called her one time and she has called me more then 30 times and its not about the kids or any thing she just wondering what I am doing.

 

I have tried to get her to back off from me but nothing is working I am really getting to the end of my rope, I don't want to go on like this any longer.

[justtwicethen]

She still loves you.

 

What can you do about that?

[guy40az]

I ask her if she still loves me and she said no

 

i ask her if she loves her new BF and she said yes

[The Enigmatical Mr X]

Get firm. Tell her she can't do that any more and tell her exactly what she's doing. If need be, get legal.

 

Send the message that if she wants to be part of your life in any respect, she needs to behave and mind the boundaries. You sound like a nice guy, unfortunately it's time to take off the gloves. You have a life to defend.

[bored]

stop being soft u cant avoid her forever just be straight up and tell her dont call unless its about the kids...or better not call at all

 

if she keep callin then u should start being aggressive and well maybe ur too old for name callin but somethin along that line might do the trick

[Vert]

Bored, somehow I doubt name calling is the way to go.

 

Like enigma said, you might need to get legal over this if she won't stop (ie Restraining Order). You don't need to actually get one, but rather do a name drop on her and see how she reacts. I would only say "don't make me get a restaining order" if she still calls after you've been firm in demanding she stop. If she still keeps it up, then it's time to get a lawyer.

[sonjam]

Hmm...

before doing drastic stuff like restraining order (there is still the kids) you need to make sure from your side, you are not "overly friendly" and leads her to believe, that you still need her to act this way, that you still want her back.

 

It is very easy for us to send this kind of signals to somoene we cared about.

 

If you don't want to have her call you and bring you down, just be firm and don't play her game, by trying not to answer her calls or text messages, when she send them. If it is urgent she can leave a message, and you can listen to it afterwards. When on a date, put your phone on silent mode, and if it rings, and it's her, you dont have to answer, and interrupt you date.

 

Another thing, don't discuss your personal life with her, she decided to not be part of it anymore, so she does not need to know what you are doing. It is sort of partly your own fault for telling her about your date, to have her interrupt it. What she does not know, cant hurt her. As long as you keep your end of the bargain with the kids, there is nothing in your life she needs to know about, and keep it the same both ways, very easy,. You are letting her play this game with you!

[guy40az]

Well I didn't tell her I was going out. When she came to get the kids I was dressed and ready to go. I was actually late because she was 1 hr late getting the kids.