This is what NC really means...

[solidbunker]

...according to me.

You heard it million of times, NC is to heal and to help you move on.

But when desperation hits, some see it as means to recover their loved ones.

I got some news for you : it wont work!

But first let me tell you the real meaning of NC, also known as dignity and self-esteem (upgrade your dictionary).

NC is (and for) when you feel in your bones that someone has disrespected you in any way, something hurtful and diminishing.

You walk away to preserve your dignity and self-esteem (your worth!).

When NC is applied by the so called "dumper" (meaning "I am not interested in pursuing this"),it is a clear message that person is not wanting or willing to continue with the encounters.For whatever reason, right or wrong, and that wish has to be respected at all times.

You nagging or begging wont make things any easier...on you!

Respecting their decision wont resume their love for you BUT could certainly arise respect once again after a certain time (this is also not guaranteed),and if it does it might be a good stage to rekindle what once was there because if there is no respect there can not be love.

And even if they regain that respect for you it does not mean they will love you again.And that is a fact.

Maybe you learn t something out of this RS,maybe not,but you will have to confront the actual situation whether you like it or not.

Question here is why not doing so keeping your dignity and self-esteem as much as you could possibly do ?

And when NC is applied by the so called dumpee (also known as the "broken heart"),it should be to preserve your dignity and self-esteem,the refusal to be mistreated and discarded as nothing.

And not by means to get back an ex.Denial is a destructive force that wont allow us to heal and move on to seek new opportunities.Fight the obsession, think clearly when you can.

This is not to be confused by a cool-off time to get back together,usually agreed by both parties to heal and reunite under better personal conditions.

Try using NC as a strategy to get back an ex with a conscious self-respected man/woman and you will be viewed as immature,pathetic and ridiculous.No one wants to be with a manipulator.

Love/War is a game in itself.Sure,but obviously we played wrong our cards otherwise we wouldnt be in this forum.What happened? I was to clingy,too disrespectful,too weak,too drunk,etc.

Next time improve your "game".

This is just my opinion.

And I committed more mistakes than anybody else.

[marconi68]

Cheers Solid, that is NC described in a common sense way, not in military style "Now you 'orrible little lot, go NC or do 100 sit ups. Your not 'ere to think"

Then you break NC. "Now what the hell.. haven't you got a brain?!". "But you told me not to think Sarge.."

 

And mentioning respecting. We will never never get back, even after 50 years of NC. She had little respect for me or others, she really looked down on people, and placed importance on what they had in material and earnings, instead of the person inside. Strangely i had more and earnt more, but she will never be content with her lot or the here and now. Importantly she had little respect for herself.

[solidbunker]

Thanks my good man Marconi.

All resulting from past failures.I cant stop laughing about them, and for the ones ahead

[marconi68]

Oh I'm up there with you on the mistakes front. But we are human beings, not robots.

I will say I generally learn from them, but when you meet someone new, a whole lot of really good new ones turn up just for me to try them out ha ha

[solidbunker]

Ha ha Same here!

And I am still up for more challenges

I am shameless.