He's Very Hurt - And Just Sounding Angry

[Silverbirch]

Right, I know I'm nobody's therapist and don't want to be, but just a question, especially for men. Something has happened to REALLY upset man in my life. He has been hurt repeatedly over many years by a family member who very recently has done something very dishonest and selfish to him. He has informed this person he no longer wants them in his life. I can tell he is VERY upset. He isn't violently angry but doesn't seem sad at all - not on the surface. This incident only just happened and the person has left lots of cleaning up for him. As I'm getting to know him more, I realised how things that would bring me to tears would just really pess him off. I think it is a difference between a lot of men and women. What do you think. I've had similar things happen to me and I get really teary and distraught, but he gets staunchly resolute that person, no matter how close to him, is out of his life. . . . . now if we could just rub a bit of each other onto each other so I would get less teary and he would be less angry, we would both be SO balanced in that regard.

 

Can anyone identify with this.

[Tranquillo]

Yes, balance is good in a relationship.

Qualities that bring out the best in each other.

Like one is fire burning but fuel is too much, so the other person is water and keeps fire calm.

And when water is too cold that it seems to be freezing, the other is fire and warms the cold so that ice is melted.

[Silverbirch]

So eloquently said Tranqullo. I am definitely the one who wears my heart on my sleeve whilst he is the pragmatic one. He had actually said to me 2 nights ago how he has come to a stage in his life where he is "thawing out" and that his relationship with me has had something to do with it. I, on the other hand, need to be able to not be so emotional, analyse and internalise so much.