Mixed Signals or He just not into me!

[natashalashay]

I meet a guy Nov 2011.We talked & texts daily. We went out on dates. He bought me Christmas gifts & we spent New Years together. Jan 9 2012, he all but stop responding to texts, calls & emails. After a few days he tells me he needed "alone time". I ask if I should stop contacting him. He say no and a few days later he is back to normal. Dates, calling,and responding to texts within minutes.

 

Here is the problem. Things are no longer the same. I am not sure what we are doing now. He still have his days of "alone time". We still go out, phone calls, texts. I have made it clear that I like him and he say the same but I am not sure what to think about this "alone time" behavior.

 

Is it mixed signals or is he just not into me.

 

 

[annie24]

Hi - its really hard to say based on your posts. How long does alone time last? Is it because he gets busy or overwhelmed with work? Is he depressed or very introverted?

 

Does he call you his gf?

[Minx2012]

I think that when women or men look for a relationship with someone, they should ask whether they are ok with a " consistent " or an "inconsistent" person. I can understand if he needed some " alone " time, but suddenly stopping or going alone for days or even weeks without texting, calling is very fishy and annoying. He could be doing the following : Cheating with another woman, busy saving lives, stressed at work, taking care of a kid etc. It doesn't matter what he's doing but at least have SOME consistency.

 

And as one poster asks on here, " Does he call you his gf? "

[natashalashay]

No, I am not his girlfriend and I am OK with this for now but I am don't if I should continue with this up & down behavior. His alone time is normally a 2 or 3 days. During this "alone time" when we talk its for a 10 or 15 minutes a couple times a day. His reply to text are normally 1 or 2 words.

 

He don't seem to be depressed and I asked is he OK. His job can be overwhelming. I am a talker and have told him that if someone is wrong just tell me and not shut down.

[natashalashay]

I agree totally. I have asked if he has meet someone else and he tells me no and he is not looking for anyone else. I have told him that I understand "alone time" but you cant get to know or build a relationship with a person with this type of behavior.

[Day_Walker]

If you dont happen to like the idea that at some particular moments this guy needs 2-3 days of "alone time" where your contact is decreased to two 10-15 minute phone calls per day and one to two words responses to texts then this isnt a guy you want to have a relationship with.

[The_Seeker]

I think that when women or men look for a relationship with someone, they should ask whether they are ok with a " consistent " or an "inconsistent" person. I can understand if he needed some " alone " time, but suddenly stopping or going alone for days or even weeks without texting, calling is very fishy and annoying. He could be doing the following : Cheating with another woman, busy saving lives, stressed at work, taking care of a kid etc. It doesn't matter what he's doing but at least have SOME consistency.

 

And as one poster asks on here, " Does he call you his gf? "

 

Ha ha that explains my situation totally.

 

Yea, inconsistent is the right word.

[ToF]

When he isn't having his "alone time" (I have to wonder whether he's truly alone during this time), how often do you call/text/email him?

 

Assuming you aren't smothering him with day-to-day contact, then I'd guess he's either inconsistent as others have posted, or you're not the only girl he's seeing.

 

There are a lot of red flags here ... I would keep your distance until you figure out his true intentions.

[The_Seeker]

When he isn't having his "alone time" (I have to wonder whether he's truly alone during this time), how often do you call/text/email him?

 

Assuming you aren't smothering him with day-to-day contact, then I'd guess he's either inconsistent as others have posted, or you're not the only girl he's seeing.

 

There are a lot of red flags here ... I would keep your distance until you figure out his true intentions.

 

2 Weeks for me. Long distance.

 

OP, just focus on yourself. Seriously. That's what i'm doing. If he contacts you, then great. If not, go find another guy.

[annie24]

No, I am not his girlfriend and I am OK with this for now but I am don't if I should continue with this up & down behavior. His alone time is normally a 2 or 3 days. During this "alone time" when we talk its for a 10 or 15 minutes a couple times a day. His reply to text are normally 1 or 2 words.

 

He don't seem to be depressed and I asked is he OK. His job can be overwhelming. I am a talker and have told him that if someone is wrong just tell me and not shut down.

 

I dunno - If you are still talking roughly 20-60 minutes on his "alone" days, that still sounds like a lot to me. I obviously don't know either of you so I can't speak for him, but I know when I am very busy with work and hobbies, 20 minutes is really a lot!! I mean, I suppose he could be dating other women, or doing drug deals or who knows what on those "alone days" but I'm not sure that it's entirely normal that a couple who has been together for only 4 months spend most of every day together.

 

maybe he just needs some time to do his errands, cook, clean, go to the grocery store, get his hair cut, etc.....???