My ex said he hopes I'm doing well and that I miss him...

[bananashampoo]

My ex whom I broke up with around three months ago just sent me a text saying that he hopes I'm doing well and that I miss him. I suppose I'm not surprised because he says he misses quite often but I never acknowledge it anymore. From the sounds of it he is hoping to see me again in the future and I don't know what to do about this/think about it. Is it wrong just to let him think this may happen, or should I tell him to move on? I don't know if I want to see him in the future yet, but it's not like I have completely ruled it out. He has even told me he hopes to see me soon, but we don't talk on a regular basis, maybe twice a month these days.

 

I don't want to be stringing him along and stopping him from moving on to something else, but I also don't know if I want to completely give up what we had... especially when he's being so sweet and telling me he misses me!

 

Help, confused girl right here.

[Hollyj]

Who broke up with who?

[Fraggle]

I guess it depends ono how you feel about the situation and if you have the emotional strength to meet up with him. If there are genuine feelings for him and you don't want to terminate them then leave it open, but i would only think it fair to let him know your potential intentions without leading him on.

 

Say that you're heartened by his email and are glad that he misses you and that you want to take things slowly and do not want to end the relationship and just want to tai it easy. that way he knows you're interested but that you don't want to rush anything.

 

it really depends on how yo feel about him and what you want and how receptive his is to those wants?

 

good luck

[bananashampoo]

I broke up with him! He begged me not to, he was really upset/hurt.

 

I don't know if I have the emotional strength to meet up with him but I would do it for him because I do care about him. He has a lot of issues to work through and I told him that and I am pretty sure he agrees, so maybe that's what we are waiting for? I honestly have no clue. The last few months of our relationship I was just sad all the time, and we were constantly fighting.

 

I don't want to end our relationship/ties completely but I did want to end the relationship because I did break up with him. So confusing.

[Ms Darcy]

Why not tell him that you are sorry for causing him pain but that you know ending the relationship was the right thing. Also, that you hope that you can be friends in the future when he is ready for friendship only.

[secondchance67]

If you don't feel strong enough to meet up with him, then by all means DON'T DO IT.

 

I respect the fact that you don't want to lead him on; that is an admirable quality in a the person initiating the breakup, and I think you should take Ms Darcy's advice on what to say, she is a wise one and her advice is sound and comes from a place of experience.

 

Tell him that the breakup happened for a reason, and he needs to work on his issues and you two are not a good fit at the moment, etc...you'll know what to say when you have the conversation since it was you in the relationship, not me.

I would tell him you need to request NC from now on....it will be hard, but needed right now.

 

You still have feelings for him, but you also realize you need to be apart....that's the hardest place to be and it's easy to let your feelings and emotions rule the game....even at 3 months, its hard not to let your heart dictate the right path to take....take it from me, I know all too well.

[bananashampoo]

Thank you secondchance67, the biggest reason I had for breaking up with him was because I didn't want to be leading him on because that's what he did to me in the first place and I didn't want to be a hypocrite. I have requested NC at least four times but he always breaks it and I don't have the heart not to respond. Aside for once when he texted me on Valentine's Day.

 

It is really hard . I also don't think he's really thinking very straight when it comes to me for some reason. Just a feeling I have. Which frightens me. He's a very emotional person but he doesn't know how to deal with those emotions and all too often it turns into anger/temper issues.

 

When he told me he hopes to see me soon I told him "Hopefully, when the time is right." so I think he must know how I feel? I like what you said Ms. Darcy, I think I said something along the lines of that to him a few months ago Just not the last part because I'm not sure if I can be friends only with him/ or if I even want to be friends only with him.