I thought i had closure.... kinda long but i need opinions !!!!!

[links12]

Its been 3 weeks since the break up total NC initiated by me, not broken. ( we were ldr at the moment for 2 months) and i really thought i had gotten closure but these past 2 weeks have been really hard and i have been playing things in my head over and over and thinking about the things we talked about when we broke up.

It kind of upsets me because he gave me the "its not you it's me" line in one way or another but i didn't really know what to say about it because obviously it WAS me but i think it was HIM too. this is why, tell me what you guys think.

 

- In december right after when we went to our separate homes in different states after the semester was over, i felt him a little weird but i didnt really say anything, he still told me he loved me and things were cool pretty much but sometimes i over analyze. But he then told me before the year ended, "i;m sorry babe ive been acting weird lately, its just dont feel good inside" i told him, if its about me or us hen you need to tell me right now. he said "no, you KNOW its not, you've seen me you know how i am" and what he meant by that is that i know that school and other things in his life had been stressing him out and it has before when we were physically together so i knew that it was true.

-In mid january he told me we should go away for spring break like we did last year and spend 5-6 days together and we talked about what we were gonna do and he even looked at hotels and said he had money to pay for it all and things were awesome and i thought yay they're getting better, but seriously like a week and a half later i noticed him starting to text me less and less during the day, although hed always say good morning babe and call me to say goodnight but communication just was horrible so i texted him about it and said i hadnt done anything why was he acting this way and he said "i know babe its me" and "i'm sorry, i know its not fair" and "you think i like doing this?"

 

-so things went on like this but i decided i will give him a little space so i wouldnt really text him id say good morning when he would say it and stuff but i didnt like demand attention and then the friday before valentines day he asks me what size my bra and underwear were and i told him but asked him why and he said "just curious lol" and i knew that he had been wanting to get me victorias secret for xmas but didnt know my size so i was surprised that he might be buying me something, comes vday and he only texts me "happy valentines day i actually just found out that it was today" so im like whaT? why would he ask me that ( when we broke up i found out he WAS planning on getting me something but he forgot to go that day and i guess he didnt end up going and actually forgot vday was tuesday) so we didnt even speak on the phone that day he didnt text me the rest of the day or call me and no gift. crappy day.

- the next day he didnt even text me at all and he ALWAYS texts good morning, so i didnt text him and the next day he didnt either and this was just like really strange cause the morning text is like an everyday thing. so on the third day i text him and he explained some of his feelings and he tells me i just havent been myself lately and its more too but also this isnt helping and dont think you did anything wrong babe you're great. but then tells me he doesnt want the same things (religion wise) and it will affect the future for us and then we barely talk for like the weekend and then monday night he tried to call me 3 times but i didnt pick up cause i decided to give him complete space for a week but then tuesday morning i find out he deleted his fb and call him and then thats when we broke up

 

- major reason for break up he talked about 98% of the time : long distance was too hard. to me it seems like whatever problems he was having go to him and the distance just really made it all weird for him and i have read posts of guys who say that their life was messed up at the time and didnt know what they wanted i just dont get why he was gonna get me a gift or why he was planning on going away with me a month before but this ALL confuses me.

[lonelyheart2]

My ex also broke up with me due to an ldr. A few days before we broke up he was even planning to take me to italy to see a ludovico concert although he had been distant and weird with me for a month and I think it was his way of making it up to me even though he knew inside he just couldn't do it.....he says it was the distance but I guess I'll never know the truth! Ldr is hard and I guess some people just aren't up for it...I don't understand this logic as I think when you really love someone it's better with them than without them.

[links12]

thats what i told him too, iwas like you'd rather not have me in your life at all than not see me for a little bit??? makes no sense but yeah my ex said also that that whole month he just couldnt break up with me and he didnt really know what he wanted to do. He said he mentioned the trip cause he was nostalgic but you're really going to lead the other person on because you're just nostalgic. i think both of our exes still wanted to be with us in a way but distance has a way of making people feel that you don't really need the other person anymore and i think that force was stronger than all this stuff they wanted to do with us which still makes no sense cause the heart doesn't feel distance or miles, love is love.

[lonelyheart2]

Spot on! That's exactly it, the sad thing is, unlike you, I am now 7 months on and I still miss him and hope that he will come back! I guess the chances of this happening are pretty much 0! I hope you move on a lot faster than me! All the best with your healing I hope you are doing ok

[links12]

Yeah i have that 1% unrealistic hope that when he's back up here for school he will have the urge to contact me or see me or all the places here would remind him of me or if he sees me around campus but i KNOW that will not happen just cause its too good to be true. We'l see how long it takes but im gonna give it a year as sad as that sounds a year to completely purge myself from thoughts of him at all and 7 months is pretty normal if you really loved that person you know so dont worry it will all work out soon! I think there we all obviously dont wanna hurt anymore and wanna move on quickly but we need to accept that it will take some time to stop loving them. We will be stronger after all of this so thats something to look forward to Hope all the pieces fall together again for you soon, hang in there!