links12

dear ex, I'm having a really hard time coping with this and I know this happened but sometimes i just can't believe it. I kept thinking to myself today, i cannot believe this is happening, i'm supposed to be with you waiting to talk to you later on in the day, hoping to see eachother in a month ( we were long distance) and its hit me really hard that we used to talk every day maybe not every hour or second but i had someone to tell random things to during the day and you would do the same. if you said you still loved me and wanted me to be happy why are you doing this to me. if we were gonna see each other 1 month from now up here in school why would you say this long distance is too much? i wish i didnt feel this way and sometimes i hate you for it but i see a little of you in everything and its driving me crazy. i know that you're living your life and happy with your decision and i know you won't miss me or come back to me. It hurts knowing i wasn't good enough to stay in your life. At the same time i dont want you to know how hurt i am, i just wish i could forget about you and that the next guy would come now and that he would be the one because i just can't keep thinking about you anymore. even if i dont talk to you each day i still think of you. when you come up to school i'm so tempted to see you and talk to you and see if you still feel something for me but i know its not the right thing to do and i won't do it. i KNOW by then you will have forgotten about me and i will be like some stranger to you and it hurts knowing that which is why i must shut you out until i cant barely remember what you look like. I wish you hadn't done this to me. i really wish it.

day 1 We broke up yesterday,(he broke it off) i had already made up my mind even before that if we broke up i could not keep in contact with him based on what i went through with someone else and it took me forever to get over them. So i told him that i wasn't going to talk to him or keep in contact because i just needed to move on and for my own good and he said he understood but that if i wanted to talk to someone or if i needed anything i could always talk to him. i told him i couldnt do that right now when hes the problem and he said he understood. I have no wishes of contacting him because i know that it would harm me and i want to think about whats best for me right now. what sucks is feeling lonely right now.