Should I confront My wife's boss for coming on to her???

[Crwnryl_13]

My wife has this suppervisor that she was meeting for lunch meetings to get to know the company and see if she could move up in the food chain. since she was new she did not know about this guy. My wife is very pretty and very respectful.

I guess the guy (he is way older, My wife's dads age) got the wrong idea and one day left a message for my wife to bring something special to a lunch meeting. My wife did not know what he meant so she left him a message asking what he wanted.

Let me mention that my wife is in sales and she works from home, so she is always on the road and usually lunch meetings are the way her and co-workers meet.

When my wife finally spoke to him on the phone, he asked her to wear something special, my wife did not know what to do so she just hang up and did not speak to him, but now the guy keeps on leaving messages on the phone asking her to call him.

My wife told me about this and does not know what to do. I found out the guys number and address, I went by his house but he was not there, I think that was a good thing. I am thinking about calling him and telling him to apologize to my wife and to stop calling her, but my wife does not want to burn bridges.

Me as a guy, I just want beat the crap out of this guy, but I dont know what to do.

[caveat]

Her boss is an idiot. He must not be too familiar with the sexual harassment laws that gut companies on a regular basis (do a google search on 'hostile environment' 'sexual harassment' to get an idea of what constitutes this type of harassment).

 

Your wife should speak to the Human Resources Department of her company so that there is a record of this behavior. If she does not want to go that far with it she rather than you should tell him that if she catches even the faintest whiff of this type of behavior in the future she is gonna run it up the flag pole.

 

He's probably calling because he's figured out that he is dangerously close to exposing the company to a law suit.

 

Read up on 'hostile environment' sexual harassment and take note of the do's and don'ts. And 'don't' go kicking his butt or threatening him, that will just negate your leverage.

[AwsomeDude]

i see that you and your wife enjoying a high level of communicating and trust, so am wondering why dont u sopport your wife and let her call him ( you r just next to her when she is doing this ), let her just 1st of all see what does he want, maybe he already got the message and wants to apologize, if not, then maybe he is not getting the message, so either she explains to him the idea of you and her r happy being togather, or u can choose law !

 

this is what i would do, and by the way that is a real brave thing from u to do, so this way u keep her work ( she doesnt want to burn the bridges) and he gets the message

[moleculo]

Yeah, dude, this is her fight...just back her up but let her do the talking. It's her job, her boss and her responsibility.

 

I understand the desire to defend the ladyfriend...I myself nearly got into a fight with an ex boyfriend of my girlfrined...I tried to avoid it but he kept on getting in my face...and it really bugged her, and ultimately wasn't worth the time. If it becomes too big of a problem then go talk to him, but right now, let it be in her court, buddy

[Crwnryl_13]

Thanks for the quick renponse, the thing is that this guy is a manager and he is not her direct manager, he is a director or a big shot, my wife just changed careers and this is the crap she gets. Just tonight after I posted this message he called asking her to call him.

 

To be honest I just want to call this guy but I will let her do the calling , like I said I was at his house today and thank God he was not there otherwise I don't know what I would have donne. From what I found out is that this is not hte first time this guy has donne this sort of thing, one of my wifes co-workers quit about a month ago because of this guy.

 

Let me tell you.....I am finding it hard to control myself....are we back in the sixties when man could do what ever they wanted because of their status in the company????

 

Believe me my wife is a real nice girl and I cannot stand having some one disrespecting her, we have two kids together and I know that this guy, the first thing he would do is hide behind his wife or the cops if I showed up...you know the type!!!

 

thanks alot !!!!! please keep the messages coming I REALLY APRECIATE THEM!!!

[OceanEyes]

His behaviour is totally inappropriate and beyond ridiculous. The way he keeps contacting her is harassment on it's own, regardless of whether or not he's calling to apologize.

 

I can understand you're frustration, but beating the crap out of him or giving him an earfull is probably only going to make things worse. If this guy has been known to do the same thing with other women, she should definitely take it up with someone who can bring some action towards him within the company.

[peanut15]

Your wife needs to contact HR to talk to someone regarding sexual harassment. Usually when you first start a company, they give you pamphlets about it. Sometimes companies also have Employee Assistance Programs (EAP) to talk to someone regarding this matter. Its an outside source to help and the company usually provides this service and its confidential.

 

Usually we just sit back and ignore the problem hoping it goes away. Sometimes we think reporting it could have some serious reprecussions. Its up to her if she will report it.

[caveat]

I'll say it again: read up on what constitutes Hostile Environment Sexual Harassment, and how best to handle such situations. I may not be an Employment law attorney, but I am a licensed attorney and I have had some exposure to this area in the past. If he has a prior history of this type of behavior its all the more reason to go on record with the HR department. At a minimum she has to tell him that his behavior is making her uncomfortable, is inappropriate and needs to stop immediately.

 

Here is a bit of info re. Hostile Environment from the American Bar Association: link removed

 

Do it right, do it by the book. That way if there is any blowback such as a failure on the company's part to reward her appropriately/fairly for a job well done, or in the worst case scenario, a wrongful termination, there will be a record of what could potentially be the basis for the company's decision.

 

Caveat

[Crwnryl_13]

Thank you very much for your assistance, but there is nothing that she can do legally because there is no real prove, in court this would be just hear say and this has happened before but people just turn the other way. Another girl was given the opportunity to quit and had to sign a non disclosure agreement.

Really messed up, thank again but this one will have to be dealt the old fashion way.

 

Cheers!!!

 

No worries is all taken care of.