Broke NC to say goodbye and now depression hits.

[hurthurthurt]

Hi,

I can't type the details b/c they upset me, but he broke up with me a few weeks ago. I attempted friendship and came to realize that he had no intention of ever seeing me again, or calling me without my prompting him. So I left him a goodbye letter, and even though I am so angry, hurt and disappointed, I was nice. I said that I get it that he is done with me, I thanked him for the good times, told him I needed to say goodbye and that he would be in my thoughts.

Now it has hit me that I shut him out and cut out any chance of a friendship in the future. We will never run into each other or anything like that. I am so depressed. I feel like I will never have anyone show interest in me ever again. I can't concentrate at work and it is catching up with me. And, to make matters worse, I slept with a random guy over the weekend and then bawled for hours afterwards b/c I felt disgusting, and that is not the type of thing I do. I am trying to tell myself that that was the lowest low of my life and it can only go up from here. But my heart feels like everything is going to get worse. I can't believe how much your heart cna hurt physically when you lose someone you care about so much.

My friends are sick of hearing my cry over him. I feel like I have nowhere to turn except inside myself. This is the most rotton raw rejection and pain. I am terrified that I am always going to be alone. I am 29. I always wanted to have a big family, and feel like I'll never find someone. Has anyone else been at this point? how did you get through it?

[herewegoagain]

hurthurthurt - I know exactly where you are coming from. My gf of almost 5 years dumped me about 2 months ago, and she doesn't give me the time of day, especially because she is with another guy. i also wrote her a letter about a month ago to tell her that I still love her and always will, and that I wish her the best of luck, etc. Of course, no response from her.

 

Like you, I have felt the mental and physical pain for yhe past 2 months. It's still hard, but it does get better. It was hard at first, when I saw her with another man only two days after we broke up, but it makes me realize that she is not worth my trouble. I still miss her, but I'm starting to accept it better now.

 

I feel like you do - I am 36 and now I'm angry that I wasted 5 years of my life with this woman who I thought I could trust and spend the rest of my life with, have chidren, etc. But I realize that will not happen with her. I am worried like you that I will be alone, and never have a family. On the bright side, you are only 29 - much more time. Take your time - I'm sure you are an attractive woman, and will have no problem finding someone.

 

remember, if you know it's over with him, then try to move on. I know it's hard but worry about yourself now.

 

Also, if you regret sending the letter, you might want to send him another letter, email, etc to let him know that you were emotionally distraught when you wrote the letter, and that if things can't work out, that hopefully you two can at least be friends.

[cassiana]

I feel like you guys all the time. Sometimes it wakes me up at night.Its not a question of meeting someone but the right someone. I thought my last ex was the one and we were so in sync that when he dumped me he rocked my confidence. Can I trust my instincts. Now im doing something I would never ever ever have dreamt of doing before. Im dating two men. Both tell me im beautiful, that they are glad they met me. I think Yeah RIGHT, I've heard that before and the last guy was more convincing. When We kiss I think of my ex and as I drive home after the dates I sometimes cry. Im angry at my ex because he has sent me back out to the big bad world alone and im being devoured by the wolves out there. All my good intentions and ladylike morals have left me alone. My impulse now is to do the opposite of what my instinct tells me.

Yes honey, lots of people feel like you do.

[CharlieGurl]

hi hhh,

Believe me, I know what you're going through. I'm also 29 and have had a the worst year of my life trying to deal with relationships. I was with a guy for 5 years and I ended it for many reasons. I started a new relationship with a guy and thought it could be light and fluffy...and it was...at first...until I got attached and didn't realize it until he ended it. It was so sudden...no real reason other than he didn't want to answer to anyone anymore and all this stuff. He has since been leading a very destructive lifestyle...gambling, drinking, drugs...and I still have to work with him part-time at a restaurant, and it's killing me.

 

Even though i knew he wasn't someone I would marry and have kids with, I still got very attached and it still hurts a lot. When I work with him he's either completely flirtatious and fun with me or practically ignoring me. He says all these nice things about me at work, and then i never hear from him outside the restaurant. It's killing me, because although i doubt I could really get back together with him after all of this, it hurts to be treated this way...so, I know what you're going through. You might not see it now, but you're lucky that you don't have to see him if you don't make the effort. The letter you wrote won't play a part in whether or not you two can be friends some day. But right now, you have to focus on what's best for you...and trying to be friends with him right now will do you no good...believe me. Maybe after some healing time you can contact him again, but for right now, you need to be away from him to get better.

 

In time, you will be better. We all will. It's painful now, but embrace that feeling and do what you have to do to deal with it...cry, write, come on here...whatever. And I know what you mean about your friends getting sick of you talking about it. i feel the same way. Our friends just want us to be happy and it's hard for them to continue seeing us sad. You'll be happy again some day, and I know you'll have the husband and family you want some day. Just take this time to get over this guy and start a new chapter in your life....good luck...

[herewegoagain]

Daisypuss - I know how it is to be treated in a bad way also. We all do. we ask ourselves - "How can someone treat us so bad and have no remorse?" It's not fair, but I always go back to "Do unto others as you would have done unto you" I believe for all of our our exes who treat us like crap, will get a taste of their own medicine. Maybe tomorrow, or next month, or next year, but they will get what is coimig to them. Like I always say - "what comes around goes around."

 

i think all of us are torn between wanting our exes to be happy or wanting them to fall on their face and get treated like they treated us. As for me, I know the right thing to do is to wish my ex happiness, but deep down, I wish her the worst of luck. hopefully, I will get over this anger, though.