Are most 21 year old womennot ready for a strong commitment?

[insomnia]

I ask cuz I'm 29 and my ex was 21 and we were both in love but then out of the blue she wanted space. One day she says she is in love and the 3 days later she isn't sure. Now we are broken up and I wonder if she will ever come back or should I forget it.

 

I also ask cuz the last 3 women I dated in my life were all 20 and they all did the same thing. Long relationship...in love one day and meeting parents ...then the next day...Poof..they say they aren't having feelings anymore.

 

What is the minimum age a 30 year old man should go for?

[SilverSurfer]

There isn't an age you should be aiming for... I think what's important is for both persons to be roughly in the same stage of life e.g. recently graduated etc etc. IMHO it seems tough when one person hasn't finished university, and the other has already started working.

[shes2smart]

What is the minimum age a 30 year old man should go for?

 

Guess that depends on the state/country you're in.

 

There is really no one answer for this, as everyone is different. I wasn't ready to make a marriage commitment til I was 37. In my late teens and up to my mid-20's I was too focused on building a career. In my mid-20's through mid 30's, I was too focused on developing as a person.

 

During that time, I had various boyfriends, I was faithful to them, I loved them and the relationships were important to me. If I am being brutally honest though, the relationships I had prior to my mid-30's were not my first priority. Second priorty, yeah...ok...ocaisionally first...but more often than not, definitely second.

 

If you're determined to date younger, this is the risk you're going to take. Most 20 or 21 year olds are just starting to learn who they are, what they want to do in life, what things are important to them. Most of them are going to want to explore their options in all areas of life, including romatically. I can't tell from your post if you are looking to get married, looking for a long term relationship, looking for an exclusive dating relationship or what. You may be expecting a level of maturity that many young women do not yet have.

[lucy9089]

I am 19 dating a 33 year old and I would never leave him out of the blue, or at least I very strongly believe that I would never do that. Im in a relationship because I want a partner, not because its the thing to do, or because I need to forfill my ego, or whatever reason that I can't even comprehend, why these girls would leave out of the blue. I want a best friend, someone who knows me well, I want someone I can rely on when I need help. I want someone to have sex with. If I don't have an intimate relationship, how am I ever going to get that stuff? I guess there are substitues, but it is a lot easier to have certain needs fufilled when you have an intimate relationship. I don't see any reason to leave this relationship. There are times when we clash and I threaten to leave, or I cry in pain, but they are superficial problems. My boyfriend wants all the things that I want in a relationship so he is always willing to hear my pain and adapt, and I do the same for him. Well who knows if I really am one of those 20-something boyfriend dumbers, All I know is that I strongly believe that I'm not. Do you think I sound the same or different from these girls who left you?

[PAdreamer]

I am 19 and have been in a lengthy long-distance relationship with a man who is 27. I love him, and I think that throughout our relationship I have been ready to say "yes" to spending my life with him, if he asked. Now I know for a fact that he is getting closer to asking me... and I truly could not be happier! But I am a hopeless romantic, so love and commitment are things I hold very dear. I suppose it depends on the woman and where she feels she's at in life. I know myself very well, for a 19 year old. And I have been told that I am very mature for my age. But some women just aren't there yet.

 

I agree that age has nothing to do with it. What is important is how compatible you are in your life stages. Is she ready to settle down? Are you? Are you both looking for "the one", or is one of you still experimenting? Do you both know what direction you want your careers to go? There are a lot of things involved, and it comes down to just talking to each other about all of it. Ask questions, prod, pry, get to know your partner so well that you share the same mind! LOL! I'm serious! You have to know exactly what that person wants, and you need to keep the lines of communication open.

[insomnia]

Well the reall reason she broke up with me was she is Bi and for the first time fell in love with a woman. So yeah I guess she does need this time to find herself.

 

But I also asked cuz I seem to always feel more comfortable when I date younger women...in their early 20's but they always seem to last for about a few months and then they want out....we hardly ever argue and I always tell them to talk to me if something bothers them cuz communiction is important. But they always say "everything is fine" and I believe them...then one day poof! A week later they have someone new.

 

Thing is during the realtionship I'm always told "your a wonderful man" or" You are the best thing that ever happened to me" or " I want this for good"...then it changes just out th eblue

 

 

Maybe it's me.....maybe I'm not bf material..maybe it's the distance(most were long distance relationships)...I dunno.

 

Any women out there looking for a nice 30 yr old man? ha ha.

[Mermaid]

I'm 28 and my boyfriend is 21. I sometimes fear that he's too young, and that he will one day evolve into someone who wants something different than he does now (i.e. something that's not me)--but then I remember that my fears are based on what I've been taught that 21-year-old men are supposed to be like, and not how this 21-year-old actually is. He's different on so many levels. We might be able to generalize about an age to an extent, but there are always exceptions.

 

Besides, I'm only 28 and, in the grand scheme of things, that's hardly a much-older woman.