First Love

[cupcake22]

I'm contemplating ending our 5 year relationship. We've grown apart and want different things in life. I love him, but not romantically anymore. It kills me to know how much ending this will hurt him. UGH why can't there be an EASY button?!

[Momma1390]

How old are you cupcake22? Are you sure a separation wouldn't be better? Five years is a long time.

[dumPI]

Any new guy in the picture to direct your romantic feelings to? Maybe from work/school/uni?

 

Just curious.

[cupcake22]

I'm 23...so we've been together through a pivotal moment in our lives where we've grown up and are still finding ourselves. I am a lot different now then when we met at age 18. We did long distance for 10 months and at first it was horrible, but eventually it became the norm. Now I just don't think I want to give up my new life to be with him when I'm not IN love with him. I also believe I've out grown him...I feel more mature and the things he does annoy me bc it's like I'm still w/ a teenager. Should I just put my happiness aside and work on it?

 

 

I've been completely faithful the entire relationship even on breaks and what not...he has not.

[Momma1390]

If you are sure you are unhappy and do not love him there is probably no point in prolonging the breakup. People do change. Sounds like you grew up and he hasn't yet.

 

Good luck cupcake22.

[playstheblues]

I don't know=- have you considered that you might not be in a rut? 5 years is a long time to give up. Have you talked to him about your concerns?

[offplanet]

I don't see the point in suggesting she reconsider, seeing as she's only 23 years old, and not in love with the guy any more. It's be foolish to settle with someone she's not in love with, when there are no children to consider. What reason could there be to do that?

[KJC]

Really, people are suggesting she wait it out just because they've been together so long?

 

Don't listen to them. I was with someone for just a bit longer and honestly, THREE years into the relationship I was unhappy but I stuck around because it felt like a "waste" to let this "long" relationship end. In reality the only thing I was wasting was the following three years of my life when I could do so much better.

 

You have concerns. You took the time to search out this website, register, and post. That tells me there is something wrong here. You don't feel like you two are in the same place anymore. I would have one last conversation where you bring up your concerns and thoughts and see how he reacts. If he is willing to work with you, then you can go from there. If he refuses to acknowledge that you're unhappy or becomes defensive or even chooses to leave on his own, then you wouldn't have wanted to be with him anyway.

[Lansing]

It isn't clear from your post if you have talked to him about your concerns. You said you had a break before, multiple breaks?

[playstheblues]

Sure, if you are sure then you should leave. BUt if you did take the time to post here then it says you are unsure. I jsut think talking to him about your concerns is best first before walking away. If it becomes clear that you need to walk away, then of course, go on that path, but I personally would think talking to him would be a good idea if you haven't already tried that.

[offplanet]

Why should she discuss her concerns with him (ie if that means, with a view to working things out) when she's no longer in love with him? I think she knows her own heart.

[cupcake22]

I'm am torn...I am fearful to make the wrong decision. Is it even possible for love to come and go in phases or is love always there all the time? He's my first love so I have nothing in which to compare our relationship. I just moved in with him less than a week ago, so should I give it more time?

[sentencedtoagony]

I'm a fan of trying until there's nothing left, but maybe that's to my detriment.