I think I was the rebound..

[sandrawg]

So, those of you who are upset because your ex started seeing someone very soon after you broke up...never fear. They are probably rebound rel'ships that won't last.

 

See..I'm saying this because I WAS the rebound.

 

And yeah, if a guy starts seeing someone pretty soon after you broke up, there's a good chance he was seeing the girl behind your back. I was that girl, as well.

 

I know, I should've known better.

[Momma1390]

Sorry. I am in that situation right now. He was engaged. Came back into my life and dumped her. In that order. It's been a month. I love him. Always have. But is he just infatuated or is it rebounding? I just hope not to get hurt.

[Madison12]

How long did you date sandrawg?

[Fantanos]

I am kind of there too but the opposite, I meet this girl one month after my ex and I broke up. I knew her from months before but only spoke a total of 5 words to her. We have been talking for about a month and I have really started to like her but my ex is still there.

 

I really like this new girl and don't know how to handle it. It is such a tough situation.

[sandrawg]

I met him 6 months ago-I was living on the west coast and he on the east coast. We met while I was visiting his area. I was planning to move there to deal w some family issues-he didn't know this. When I went back to L.A., he and I talked, skyped, texted, etc. CONSTANTLY.

 

He had just broken up with his LDR gf. They were off/on for about 6 years-she didn't treat him very well, so I figured that was good reason for us to start something up. Then he went back to her in mid-July but still kept texting/skyping/calling ME.

 

I moved to the east coast in September and he broke up with her right away because, yet again, he was trying to go see her and she blew him off to be with her friends.

 

I had vowed in the back of my mind to keep my distance from him but we had powerful chemistry, and I failed. He pursued me, tho. I just hung back to see what would happen.

 

In November, he decided he wanted a relationship..introduced me to his family, etc. as his gf. He even told his ex he was with me when she called to wish him merry Xmas (which was really a game..he AND his ex played lots of stupid games w each other.) He told me then that he was done w the ex and committed to me.

 

On NYE he said he was falling in love with me.

 

I thought I had clear signals to draw him closer...to invite him to do things..make plans for fun things...everything seemed great. He told me consistently, how great I was. Then 2.5 wks ago, he got kind of distant. Saw some friends he wanted to hang out with, without me. Started talking about how we'd be friends still, if we broke up. Then totally dumped me 2 weeks ago, saying "the feelings aren't there" and "we'd be better off a friends" and..you can read the rest in my posts. I'm 9 days NC. I blocked him on everything and told him I did.

[sandrawg]

Why'd you break up with your ex?

 

I am kind of there too but the opposite, I meet this girl one month after my ex and I broke up. I knew her from months before but only spoke a total of 5 words to her. We have been talking for about a month and I have really started to like her but my ex is still there.

 

I really like this new girl and don't know how to handle it. It is such a tough situation.

[sandrawg]

Each situation is different, but if I could do my rel'ship over again, I'd give him time and space to get over his ex before jumping into ANYTHING with him.

 

Sorry. I am in that situation right now. He was engaged. Came back into my life and dumped her. In that order. It's been a month. I love him. Always have. But is he just infatuated or is it rebounding? I just hope not to get hurt.

[thelastsong]

I was a rebound too, if it makes you feel better. My story's in my signature, but basically we dated for about a year until he finally left me for her. Now they're engaged, and it makes me feel so worthless that I was so easy to use and then throw away without a backwards glance.

 

I definitely should have known better. Since about day 3 of the relationship, I was worried I was his rebound, but I ignored the red flags and kept going. So don't feel bad that you didn't get out of there when you saw the warning signs because I think many of us have made that mistake.

[Fantanos]

Why'd you break up with your ex?

 

My ex and I were together for 3.5 years, it was kind of mutual... we agreed we needed a break to see what would happen. We were having trouble sexually and her chatting with a new guy... plus lots of other little things. She lived with me but she decided to get an apartment and moved an hour away from me to where she works AND it was a coincedence it was in the same town of a new guy she was chatting with, odd huh? The first night we were apart she was hanging out with him. That made it really hard for me to just except this as a break... so I started looking. Now it seems my ex is back and seems to be regretting her decision. I still love her to death, but the past is hard to forget and I don't know if we will ever be happy together.

[dino9401]

I was a rebound also. I know a lot of these posts are about a lot of long term relationships. I have had those, and they hurt like hell when they end. But, there is something about being a rebound for a short time that really hurts as well. I let my heart heal after a very bad breakup and thought that I had met the one girl who I trusted enough to open my hear too. Unfortunately she was recovering from a relationship and I was used as a security blanket and a means to comfort her. I fell for her hard and thought that I would not get hurt again, but it happened. So it doesn't matter how long the relationship was, but how much you heart was into it. It hurts more when you finally realize that you gave your all without the other giving anything back. Best of luck.. I'm still hurting

[rig01]

She was in a 7 year relationship before me, and moved out a couple months before. During that time she had a rebound with another guy, but it was short-lived, and she put a stop to it as soon as she met me. So I'm not sure if I was the rebound or not; she assured me I wasn't, and I know she really did love me (enough to start calling me her life partner), but over a year into it when we had some problems, she told me she was still punishing me for her mistakes with her ex. Early on she also expressed that she didn't think she had enough time after him before we got together. So I guess it's possible to have two rebounds, as long as you're not over the last guy.

 

We still lived together after the breakup because I had to find work and a new apartment, and that took a while. She planned to move back to her hometown, but we got close again. One night we kissed (she initiated), and the very next night she started going out with a guy from work, her attitude toward me shifted completely, and she started spending all her time with him. During the last two weeks while I packed up, she stayed at his place. Then we each went to see our families for Christmas. When we came back I confronted her and she said they'd been in a relationship for a couple weeks now, and she's no longer moving away. NC for a little over a month now.

 

That sounds like rebound to me, and I can't help wanting it to fail. I wish I didn't care, and I wish I could stop expecting her to call or email me saying it didn't work out.

[Ms Darcy]

I have a personal rule - I don't mess with men out of long term, 3+ year relationships for at least a year. They need a year at least to heal (if they were dumped).

[sandrawg]

DAAANG! it's like ALL her relationships were rebound...except for maybe the 7 year guy. You were sort of the rebound's rebound. Ugh. I wonder sometimes if there is someone else and my ex is double rebounding with a new woman. I would get confused when he talked about his exes, because there seemed like so many of them; however, the ex he was with when I met him, he said they'd been off and on for 6 yrs. So I always thought he must've had a lot of women he "tried out" in btwn the breakups with his ex.

[rig01]

Actually he was rebound from someone else too. She also rebounded with someone else while her and the 7 year guy were on a break (maybe more than once? I don't remember). So yeah, her entire adult life has been a string of rebounds, I guess.

 

She's afraid to be alone. I think she doesn't really know who she is when she's single, and she's afraid to find out.

[thelastsong]

I have a personal rule - I don't mess with men out of long term, 3+ year relationships for at least a year. They need a year at least to heal (if they were dumped).

 

Unfortunately, my ex had only dated this girl for a few months, most of it long distance, so this rule doesn't always apply. We dated for longer than they had, but I guess I was just a toy to play with until she decided she wanted him back.

[sandrawg]

I, too, made an exception because my ex dated HIS ex long distance. They'd sometimes go months without seeing each other. I thought...how could he REALLY be that distraught over the relationship, when they barely saw each other?

 

Unfortunately, my ex had only dated this girl for a few months, most of it long distance, so this rule doesn't always apply. We dated for longer than they had, but I guess I was just a toy to play with until she decided she wanted him back.