Everbody gets a call from their Ex - except me!!!!!

[herewegoagain]

It seems like everybody's ex seems to at least call the dumpee once in a while. Darn, mine hasn't contacted me since we broke up 7 weeks ago. the only time she contacted me was so she could get some of her belongings!!

 

it's just kind of depressing that everybody else at least gets an email or phone call every once in a while, but not me. oh well, there's nothing i can do.

 

 

i guess I can take that as a hint that she wants nothing to do with me, especially since she is seeing someone else. But it is just so hard to believe that after 4 1/2 years, she just turned it all off with no remorse.

[Michael2]

Ever see the movie swingers.

 

She WILL call , but only once you are over her.

[herewegoagain]

LOL - I hear ya'. Is it a good movie? I may have to get it this weekend.

[Vert]

Yea that movie actually has some good breakup and moving on tips in it. I would suggest watching it if not for those tips alone, but also for the humor (you're so money and you don't even know it!).

 

Anyway, my ex-gf hasn't called me either but I've only been NC for about a month now. This is probably the biggest reason, but also the fact that even if she did call I can't exactly go over to her place to visit (I'm 15 hours away now in another state).

[justtwicethen]

Hahaha herewegoagain,

 

That is the coolest post ever.

 

Dude man, I went through the same thing for like months...but I held on with NC. It is the best way out. It allows you to heal. She did call in the end, we met.

 

Back to NC now...lol....help me someone. Im going mad. I so wish I was single and had never met nobody.

[whattheheck]

justwicethen - ya see!!! you are another example. All these people are getting the calls - WHY NOT ME!!!!

 

But I agree with you, I wish I had been single for the last 4 years - how much easier life would be!!

[dontknowwhattodo]

My ex called only to keep my false hope up. Everytime he called, he always said we should get together/hang out and he would let me know when. He never did so though. I wish I didn't get any call from him. I try to establish the no contact but why he has to call me every once in a while (like once every 2 weeks). I want to move on. You are luckier than me, you know.

[ddp0109]

It seems like everybody's ex seems to at least call the dumpee once in a while. Darn, mine hasn't contacted me since we broke up 7 weeks ago. the only time she contacted me was so she could get some of her belongings!!

 

it's just kind of depressing that everybody else at least gets an email or phone call every once in a while, but not me. oh well, there's nothing i can do.

 

 

i guess I can take that as a hint that she wants nothing to do with me, especially since she is seeing someone else. But it is just so hard to believe that after 4 1/2 years, she just turned it all off with no remorse.

 

im in the same boat....my ex hasnt contacted me in awhile also...but im glad..the last couple of emails were very rude..basically stating that i was nothing to her..and how she threw all my stuff out that i gave her....i dont need that negativity in my life...i just wish her all the best..and move on...you really got to ask yourself..is it really worth the pain your going through now?? if your ex is happy..then i guess we should be happy..we may not agree with the way the handled our break up (cause i sure know that i despise the way she did ours)..but at the end of the day..NC is the best!.....just think of it as, your ex opened doors for someone BETTER to enjoy your love and loyalty..cause thats what we gave..nothing but love and loyalty....things will get better...trust me...hey herewegoagain you didnt respond to my last pm....respond back when you can

 

just in conclusion..we all have to ask tell ourselves..our ex's are doing what they want to make THEM happy..why do we have to suffer...we must get it through our heads that its time to make US happy..and that doesnt mean going back to them necessarily!!..just because its the comfortable route to go..doesnt mean its going to stay comfortable...and herewegoagain, i got the same feeling about the "first they love you..and 2 days later...they dont" feeling..ive named it "the switch" ....its just how life goes..sooner or later your ex will realize what a great guy you are..and by that time..youll be happy and moved on..just keep your head up...pm me when you can

[rich46]

Forget about her. I don't want my ex to call again as it will set me back for sure. Be strong and move on in your own life without dwelling on someone who can apparently switch her emotions off just like that. What good is dwelling on the fact she hasn't called? She isn't important anymore, YOU are.

 

I'm in a real don't-give-a-(PROFANITY DELETED BY MODERATOR) mood today...and it feels good!!!

 

Take care,

 

Rich

[justtwicethen]

You people notice a trend here??

 

It is the HER not calling the HIM. The ex who does NC first is USUALLY the girl...

 

So why is it you women want equality with men?? We love you, we care about you....and All you do is play with our minds. ONE DAY WE WILL HAVE REVENGE.

[herewegoagain]

Revenge - that would be nice. But unfortunately, there is nothing we can do. The only revenge that I can think of is the old saying -

 

"WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND"

[herewegoagain]

rich - you are kind of correct when you said that I should forget about her, especially since she could just turn her feeling off for me so quick.

 

You are basically right, but as I think about what you have said before with your ex, I wish I would have done someting when I noticed that she was starting to act a little distant toward me.

 

But for you, at least she didn't do it because of another guy, but mine did.

[ddp0109]

You people notice a trend here??

 

It is the HER not calling the HIM. The ex who does NC first is USUALLY the girl...

 

So why is it you women want equality with men?? We love you, we care about you....and All you do is play with our minds. ONE DAY WE WILL HAVE REVENGE.

 

haha very true...i never noticed that..

 

but we have to get it through our heads that this is what life has given us..these are the cards that we have been dealt.....NC is a great tool..i use to think it was nothing...that it didnt help..but in actuality...it helps quite a bit!!!...why would you want to continue contact with someone that brings nothing but sorrow to your life?? even if everything was good..the magic word there was.."WAS"!!..it isnt like that anymore...we just keep thinking about how it WAS back then...its time to wake up and start thinking about our future....NC is probably one of the best things ive done.....besides why would you want someone that has caused soo much pain in yoru life anyway? bc you love them?...people say all you need is love..i disagree...cause obviously from seeing alot of these posts...the one thing many couples do have is love...but they are still in the same boat many of us are in

[rich46]

rich - you are kind of correct when you said that I should forget about her, especially since she could just turn her feeling off for me so quick.

 

You are basically right, but as I think about what you have said before with your ex, I wish I would have done someting when I noticed that she was starting to act a little distant toward me.

 

But for you, at least she didn't do it because of another guy, but mine did.

Doesn't matter. We can do bugger all about it, so stop feeling sorry for yourself and thinking your situation is worse than everyone else's! We all feel/have felt exactly the same, and the reason I still post on here is to help others realise that there's no point in wallowing in self pity for the rest of your life. What's done is done. I may feel worse if she had gone to another man straight after the break up, but the end result is the same anyway - our exes don't want to be with us anymore. So if someone doesn't want to be with me, then I don't want to be with them. End of story for me...it just took me a few weeks to realise it.

 

Chin up and start looking FORWARD rather than BACKWARD.

 

Take care and stay strong.

 

Rich

[herewegoagain]

Rich - you are totally right.

[ddp0109]

it doesnt matter what situation you are in..the point is..we have to start living our lives for us!! no one else...i find that alot of us have invested alot of things into our relationship we feel that we are losing out soo much...i feel the same way....its just time to live for ourselves rather then to live for our ex's...thats where we went wrong...its time for US...

[Pebek]

Herewegoagain - You're not the only one. My gf of 4 1/2 years, who left me in mid-March, hasn't called or texted me. Not even to give me back my CDs. I've been on 100%NC since then and it still hurts like hell sometimes. I guess it depends on the individual, but I just don't know yet what it's going to take to get my closure. I've recently heard rumors she may be seeing somebody, but I can't be sure. I feel cheated and crushed.

 

 

Keep strong,

 

Pete

[CarterJonas]

I also agree with rich46 whom has the best avatar.

[kipster]

It seems like everybody's ex seems to at least call the dumpee once in a while. Darn, mine hasn't contacted me since we broke up 7 weeks ago. the only time she contacted me was so she could get some of her belongings!!

 

LOL (I don't mean to be funny hwga) but I feel for you on this one! The only reason I can smile is because my ex of rougly 6+ years (6 months broken up and counting) did the same (PROFANITY DELETED BY MODERATOR) to me. She's called my parents, sent them mother's and father's day cards, keeps in minor contact with an aunt of mine, has sent me a b-day card, after I sent her one (a mistake since I could never say if she sent it to reciprocate or because she genuinely meant it, not it doesn't matter either way to me ), even thanked me for the card I sent some time ago, but called me at my job at an hour she knew I wouldn't be in to do so (e.g., 1am). She's even asked a cousin of mine to lunch that she otherwise wouldn't even speak to, for what reason I don't know. So its comical to me now, whereas before it used to bother me heavily and really hurt my heart. The only thing I go by is what she said when I asked her where do we stand a few months ago, she responded, "Oustide of a friendship I can't see anything else in out future". That's all I needed to hear and tells me all I need to know. So there will be ZERO contact from me in the future since I don't want to do the lovers to friends thing. She can do that with someone else. And I wish her the best in doing it. But I do know where you're coming from HWGA, I've been there but someday you'll laugh at it. Trust me.

 

Kip

[Foz]

well my ex contacted me after 4 weeks to tell me he missed me and wanted to spend time with me so i got all my hopes up that he had changed his mind and was coming back. He did call over and let me down all over again, he hadnt changed his mind, he thought i was a great person but just not the one for him, it was like being dumped all over again so to be honest in a way i wish now he had never contacted me cos im back to square one again in the grieving process, whereas if he hadnt contacted me and i hadnt gotten my hopes up i would be after progressing in the whole grief thing, now ive just regressed and have to start all over again. i dont know does this help you or not but maybe the kindest thing they can do is leave you to grieve on your own. ringing you to see if you are ok only eases their guilty conscience for leaving you the way they did and gets your hopes up that they still care. Better off leaving it.

And yes, swingers is a great movie!!

[trishcollins]

My "ex" never calls me. It's been 3 months since the breakup. In the last 2.5 months I have called once (on what would have been our second anniversary) and emailed three times, twice he responded, the last time he didn't. Although when I do talk to him, he says he still misses me and thinks of me often, and has even said he still loves me.

 

I have BEGGED him not to give me false hope (our breakup was circumstancial, as least that's what he lead me to believe), and that if he suddenly finds himself no longer interested and wanting to move on, then to tell me. I fear that although the circumstances broke us up, perhaps his feelings were not as strong as we both thought they were, and now that he is on his own again, he doesn't see us together.

 

Anyway, I am rambling, but the reason I am, its it's best to leave it alone. I find that if you think keeping in contact is a way to keep them from forgetting you, it doesn't work, and can even backfire. If they want you, they will come back. Constantly keeping in touch lets them know you are available and waiting around for them, and gives them all the power.

 

I have decided to no longer initate any contact. I do plan on sending his kids birthday cards, but that's it. I don't feel like I need to remind him how I feel, and I'll only get disappointed when he doesn't answer, or does answer, but is treating me with kid gloves.

 

Just MHO

[idontgetit]

You people notice a trend here??

 

It is the HER not calling the HIM. The ex who does NC first is USUALLY the girl...

 

So why is it you women want equality with men?? We love you, we care about you....and All you do is play with our minds. ONE DAY WE WILL HAVE REVENGE.

 

hey, some women get on the wrong end of the stick as well!!! it'll be three months of nc this tuesday yes, somehow it is the women who usually ends up calling. too bad i wasn't dating a woman looks like i'm in nc for the long haul since most men won't break it because of their silly pride

[trishcollins]

You are so right, Idontgetit! Men have such silly pride issues. Once my "ex" makes up his mind about something, there is no turning back. Definitely a pride thing. We women do have our pride, but we are not too proud to admit when we are wrong.