Will I ever make a relationship work?

[Hughzeee]

I was just in a relationship with a girl that I have known for about 12 years. We were together for about seven months but the relationship moved much faster than usual. She is a bartender with three kids, and on top of the whole thing, she spent her weekends out at the bar with her friends. I took her children in like they were my own and I was very ready to settle down and do the family thing. Then one night she told me that for the last four months she had been going out to the bar with these out of town tradesmen that visit her at her workplace. She told me that it was nothing but I couldnt understand why I didnt know about it, and also I couldnt understand why she would want to bring other guys into our relationship. I would never do anything like that to her just out of respect and love. Anyway she said that I was a controlfreak for not being comfortable with the situation, and that if I had a problem with it that I just sit there like a piece of furniture. I couldnt believe she said that to me and we split up right there. I am very devestated over this and I just dont know if I was in the wrong or what! i FIGURED THAT SHE WOULD OF LIKE TO SETTLE DOWN HERSELF HAVING THREE CHILDREN AND ALL. i JUST DONT GET IT.

[mermayd]

This may be hard to hear and I am not assuming the worst, bg the possibilities. With her rapid reaction to the situation and her "foot down" denial, she may not have been fully faithful during your relationship. Maybe not physically unfaithful, but emotionally,maybe she wasnt ready to commit as much as she thought she was. She could have had a change of mind once she realized what the committed life consists of. Be her friend and ask her s a friend what happened. Maybe since you arent together she will be able to be as open as you hope her to be. good luck

[SwingFox]

Hi Hughzeee,

 

I am sorry to hear that things don't go the way you had them planned. I believe that apart from the question wether she has been faithful to you or not and in what degree, I think it would be wise to wonder if you really need a woman like this.

 

It looks like that you're quite ready to settle down and wouldn't it be nice to find a woman that things really the same way. I know from experience that people working in a bar are usually very outgoing and not really for BIG settlement yet. They just want to meet people and are very social (understand that there are exceptions on this rule, though).

 

I hope that this gives you some background and inside. I hope it shed some light on your situation. I wish you luck in your future and hope that things will work out for you eventually.

 

~ SwingFox ~