HELP! im 17 and gay, but don't know how to meet guys

[EmoC17]

Hello

 

I have never posted anything online, so bear with my strange style. Well, I did read a ton of the postings about how guys need help meeting guys, and how they're afraid of being "found out," and I really don't want to sound redundant, but I have a very similar problem. You see, I go to a small, private high school, and rumor can travel around fast. I am a senior in a class of less than 70 students (the entire school body is about 350 people), and I am trying to hook up with a guy. Coming out to people is not an option; my family would kick me out, my "friends" would reject me, etc. (The term "friends" is in quotes because they too reject gays). The main problem is that it's a catholic school, thereforeeee being gay is evil. I have gone to catholic schools since 2nd grade, and i throughly understand all the theology and teachings about the gay community. Apparently I'm going to hell.

 

I lied, there is one friend who knows, and accepts, my homosexuality. I came out to her a few months ago because she and I have been really good friends for a long time. She really understands how much it means to me that my sexual preference remains secret. When she found out, she was downright shocked. She said I was the last person she'd suspect. To be honest, I don't have to "try" to act straight either. Naturally I am a masculine kind of guy. I like going paintballing, I love camping, I am, essentially, the same type of guy as my heterosexual counterparts.

 

Herein lies the problem. I know two guys; both of which really seem gay to me. Keep in mind that absolutely NOBODY at my school would ever be open about their homosexuality because the torture they would receive. (It's sad if you think about it, but true; catholic schools [which should be teaching the principles of compassion and forgiveness] leave homosexuals behind to be discriminated and (in some instances) beaten. The faculty does nothing to prevent or stop this. Back to the topic... Lets call the first guy "Kevin." Kevin is a really hot guy, he is a wrestler and a football player. Sometimes when I go to the bathrooms at school, I see him at the urinal, and he likes to look over and see what I have. He even goes as far as to stare at me in the eyes when I'm peeing. I just love it when he looks into my eyes, both of us doing manly things. It's not only his looks either, he is a really cool guy. He plays the guitar, listens to my type of music, he's really friendly, and he is really cool to be around. The other suspect homosexual, lets call him "Nick" is also hot. He plays basketball and, I think, acts even more gay. Sometimes we play cards, and he lets me win on purpose. He'll stare at me more than necessary; even more than Kevin. For example, lets say we were playing poker, and he looks at my facial expressions to see if I'm bluffing, he'll stare into my eyes for a good 30 seconds. When things like this happen, I just melt down and stare into his beautiful green eyes.

 

While reading other posts, I thought of how cool it would be to be able to wrestle Kevin or Nick; just messing around. Then there was someone who actually sleeps over at his friends house; I could only imagine how nice that would be. But, as things go, I have yet to experience these things.

 

Basically, given my situation, I want to know how I am to go about trying to hook up with somebody. I really want a boyfriend (the secret type), and I want to know how I can do it without people knowing I'm gay.

 

Please Reply!

[San123]

My friend is gay and finds guys on the internet.. they arent scary or anything, but he has had more b/f's than any girl I know and they are really hot! Maybe you could try that?

[Derek123]

Thats sucks I really hate homophobes like that

 

hmm well if you parents and everyone reject you they werent good friends or family anyway and you should forget about them

 

maybe you should wait until college then your parents or anyone wont know

[Jake212]

The internet is fine but you can meet some really sketchy guys that may make things worse. I assume you drive, so you may want to hop on the internet and check out local GLBT organizations. I know I keep telling everyone under 22 to look for an Outright organization near them or something similar. These organizations offer meeting places in complete confidence with advisors and people your own age. They dont indoctrinate or tell you what to do, they just listen, plus their are people your own age with the same issues. I would look into this before doing anything like internet dating or pursuing someone you think is gay (espically if your trying to keep it to yourself, which is fine at this moment in time). They can help you focus your feelings and show how to deal with parents and friends. There also is the Rainbow Pride Youth Alliance.

[EmoC17]

Thanks. I guess you're right. I probably should wait until college to try anything. It's just that I've got those "raging horomones" going on. Sometimes I just wish I can express how I feel about those guys. Anyway, thanks again for your advice and support.

[xkirrax]

Was that me you are talking about? I'm the one who slept over my friend's house with my crush and wrestled with him. Fun fun fun. I've been over him for about six months though...

 

You need to show them signs that you aren't straight if you want to see if they are gay or not. I can't give any specifics, because I myself have a lot of trouble with it too. It's so hard to show the guy ( who I think his gay, according to my gaydar, it's not just my desire ) that I'm interested in him without changing my personality. Say you want to tell them...you can't wait for them to come out to you, you have to input some clues too. Whether they be obvious ones or mysterious is up to you.